First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
Hurry up with it! Where's the judging? You said you'd have it done by now? The day Alt judges on time is the day hell freezes over! Judging? Is it this weekend or next weekend?
/rant
Sorry...just getting out the built up tension from those Pokethread entrants...
Sadness smells like growing mold in an old abandended house, smells like doggy doo-doo on a clean carpet, tastes like cake and brownies with no sugar, sounds like a wolf howling in an old abandoned night sky, AWHOOOO! feels like a knife peircing through my heart, feels like an empty soul in my body, Sadness
Ugh, I know this is the first, and hopefully only, late reply . . . but could someone guest judge for me? I'm totally swamped right now, and I honestly have no time . . . .
Whoever judges, the new theme should be trenches(interpret it any way you want) and the deadline should be Saturday, June 4(or whatver the date is then)
I did that on purpose you know. Anyways, I'll judge that one first if it'll make you feel better. If someone better comes along to judge this one that'll be even better.
*Notice* This is temporary judging that can be overruled by any more senior members than me, the judge, or a mod, if it need be. Just to make that clear. So this is real if people want it to be, or just me spending my time doing pretend judging if the judging is deemed unofficial.
Fifth Place, Iron - LazyOne
Cold Nor hot, nor tepid Only some can feel it
The way it's supposed to be felt, Only by winter it can be dealt...
And out of the few that feel it, even fewer may hear it
The screaming voice of cold tells things, never told
Cold, It is a thing too pure something too hard to endure
If you accept If not, Percept
Receive the prize of eternal demise...
It has a strange stanza layout. That doesn't restrict the poem, but it certainly is worth pointing out. Some of the words are out of place or off a little, but the rest is fine.
Fourth Place, Bronze - MoonFairy
Drastic Change
It is hot outside But I am frozen. There is nothing left to keep me goin.
I am still walking around And I still seem the same But on the inside There isn't a single flame.
I don't make a sound Cause my heart doesn't beat. I'm just waiting for someone To help make me complete.
It's freezing in here As cold as ice. I'm waiting for my heart to melt. But it won't, Cause I won't make the same mistake twice.
You taught me That even if something is great, It will leave just like you did. Cause it is my fate.
It was great until you went. You just left me there alone I will never forget what you did. So now, I am fine on my own.
I don't need to feel like that again. It couldn't possibly be good for any condition. All the times that my heart skipped a few beats. Boy, you played me like a pro musician.
So I don't need A warm heart anymore. Cause dealing with people Became such a chore.
I will embrace the cold. With open arms. As you once did for me, With all of your supposed 'love' and charms.
Yet there is still some hope left inside of me That maybe one day, Someone will come along, And my world might not be so grey.
Quit being such a shutout.
Anyways, it was quite a dilemma where to place this. It's very good, and the rhythm and emotion were very good. The rhyme scheme was pretty good too. Good job.
Third Place, Silver - kingryan
The cold permeates, Penetrates; Frustrates; Irritates; All day and all night. Yet I am warm.
The cold freezes, Displeases; Cause Sneazes; And wheezes; My toes are numb. Yet I am warm.
The cold gnaws, claws; bores; wars; At the hearts of all. Yet I am warm.
But your arms condole, my whole; my soul; with no cajole; And that is why right now, I am warm.
I liked the creative layout of the stanzas. The continuous rhyme scheme was something that was special about it. Very good.
Second Place, Gold - Parsat
The Eternal Question
Lord, bless my spirit and my soul, When heaven's ticket I have got, I'll ask that question I don't know: Is hell cold, or is it hot?
Some say that hell is made of fire While others say it's like ice. From SoCal summers, it's in the wire That punishment is served with fire. But stay in some white guy's house, pray tell, Will teach you ice Is cold as hell And would suffice.
I like the poetic prayer style of the poem. It keeps flow perfectly, and none of the rhymes are strained. This is to be expected though, come on. It's you. I liked those last four lines especially. Nice.
First Place, Platinum - DDX
fever
Deluge of sweat and delusion, The burning, the furnace, My hunger only fuels confusion. Why god, what is this purpose?
My body burns, but not in passion. My eyes roll back, but not in pleasure. Im am purging in the most ugly fashion. Painkillers are my only treasure.
I am delirious with high fever, My skin so hot it blisters The ice is supposed to be my lever, yet it disappears so quick like twisters.
Who would know that it could be so hot On a december morn. Maybe god would give me another shot, Instead of leaving me forlorn.
I really liked this one. I read it at a really fast pace for some reason, and that added to the effect. Rhyme, rhythm, good. All of it. Anyways, awesome poem.
I would ask a mod whether or not my judging would count while you ask for the merit, though. It might not.
Anyways, as Alt requested the new theme is Trenches.
The deadline should be set by him.
PS: Anyone willing to criticize my poem would be great. Thanks.
Since you're a former judge here, and Alt requested a guest judge, your judging should be legitimate.
As for your poem, I think it retained too much of the remnants of rhyme/meter prose to have been effective free verse. It's not exactly prose either because of the spacing. The thing that's so hard to do with free verse is that every word cannot be metrical filler anymore; they must all be exactly right in their denotations and connotations. More figurative language was needed too, I think, to convey the effect of temperature.
