First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme. It must be submitted by the deadline. It cannot have inappropriate language in it. It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!) Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
Sorry Zaky, old boy, but the vote's been carried, you may consider yourself to be persona non grata. I suggest you start running right about now... *insert evil grin*
You failed to gain recoqnition from the Senate Chair (me!). Please take your seat.
And besides, you can't get away with a fillibuster any more. Or atleast, you're not supposed to. If you have a Democratic chair, and a Democrat fillibuster's, they'd get away with it. And vice versa.
Would the Chair please allow me to say a few words? It is in the Senatoral Proceedings to allow those who wish to speak, speak if they have followed all of the necessary motions...
Also I object to my labeling as a persona non grata. I have committed no crimes to be labeled as such, and I demand that my accuser be rebuked in an open session.
The Chair denies zakyman the right to approach the well.
The Chair upholds the labeling of zakyman as a persona non grata. The Chair recognizes that zakyman attempted a coup d'etat, and ask that the Baliff removes zakyman from the chambers and has him charged with treason.
The Chair upholds the labeling of zakyman as a persona non grata. The Chair recognizes that zakyman attempted a coup d'etat, and ask that the Baliff removes zakyman from the chambers and has him charged with treason.
I object to the charges presented against me. I had only attempted a filibuster, which is standard Senatoral procedure.
Sorry guys for the delay. Got caught all of a sudden in the flow when I was in the ebb a moment ago. I've asked Kyouzou to judge, because I trust him. If he doesn't take it, then wolf should step up again.
Parsat, I am immediately appealing my sentence of death handed down by this kangaroo court, and are requesting a full pardon. Sarcasm written over the internet is not to be taken as an actual act of violence. Plus, I was not allowed to say anything in my defense, or present mitigating evidence to possibly lessen the sentence. I request that my sentence be reversed and rendered.
The Chair finds Zakyman guilty of High Treason, the punishment is death by firing squad.
I object to the sentence presented to me on the grounds that you are not the Senatoral Chair, and that no evidence was presented by either the prosecution or my defense council. I also object to the fact that I am required to prove innocence, as the presumtion is that I am innocent. As I have not had a fair trial, I protest this sentence, the court, and its related verdicts. I will file a habeus corpus petition in the next few days to get a trial.
no evidence was presented by either the prosecution
You yourself confessed to a militarized usurptation of the government in place. Thats plenty of evidence.
I also object to the fact that I am required to prove innocence, as the presumtion is that I am innocent.
The evidence that has been put forth clearly points to a verdict of guilty. Also: See below.
As I have not had a fair trial
By attempting a coup of the inplaced government, you have hereby forfeited your rights as a citizen of this government. Therefor, you are labeled as a terrorist, and have no rights as such.
I will file a habeus corpus petition
Dismissed. You are here, are you not? 'Habeas Corpus' means you must have the body, and the fact that you are attempting to appeal this descision by this tribunal further supports that fact.
I hereby declare the defendant, zakyman, guilty on charges of Treason, Terrorism, perjury, lieing under oath, and inhibitation of a Senatorial Investigation. The punishment for such crimes is death. You will be hung by the neck until dead in five days time, at 6:00 PM on Friday, September 30th. May God have mercy on your soul.
I hereby declare the defendant, zakyman, guilty on charges of Treason, Terrorism, perjury, lieing under oath, and inhibitation of a Senatorial Investigation. The punishment for such crimes is death. You will be hung by the neck until dead in five days time, at 6:00 PM on Friday, September 30th. May God have mercy on your soul.
Again, I protest the proceedings as unfair, biased, and outrageous. I was not given an attorney, either a civilian or military lawyer, and no court proceedings were undertaken. I respectfully request a stay of execution until my lawyers are able to present mitigating evidence. As I am not a threat to society, and will not commit future crimes, I also request that my sentence be vacated, or reduced.
