It's very peaceful as you walk down a path through the forest. You look up at the treeline and watch the leaves fall. It's a beautiful place, and you wonder why you've never passed through it before. But this isn't any forest, it's the Forest of Illusions. You notice that it's suddenly getting darker. You look at your watch; it's 3:13 PM, not a time when it should be getting dark. You're starting to get a strange feeling about this place, this forest. It's not just any darkness. It doesn't seem like anything is blocking the sun's light. Not the trees or clouds, but almost as if you've been banned from the world of light altogether. You start running, running down the path. You glance back and see the path that you've been trailing down for the past half hour disappear. You look back ahead, and the path ahead of you is suddenly the only thing visible. The trees, the sky, the grass, is now complete and utter blackness. You panic as the path ahead of you is getting narrower. Is this a nightmare? Is it some kind of gateway to hell? No; It's the Forest of Illusions. The path gets so narrow that you step into the blackness, and start falling.....
I could feel that sudden churn in my stomache that you get when you realize something is not right. Very nice flow and I could picture very clearly the transformation of the forest. I felt like I was actually dreaming, and the end was a nice touch, about being in the Forest of Illusions.
What song was it you listened to that influenced you to write this?
here's a quickwrite for ya!:there once was a dog named bam, he liked to eat ham. so he ate ham all the time, and he always felt fine. but one day after eating a pound of ham sam felt horrible. he had a heart attack. an ambulance took him to the vet and he died on the way there THE END
I listened to a bit of it and I must say, I can see how you were inspired. I think you could add onto the story and make more of a thriller. Maybe the beginning could express some more "eaceful tranquility" and slowly intorduce dark shadows that you see from the corner of your eye or something. Then you focus on the peacefulness of the forest and thats when things fall downhill. Then add some screams in the distance or some more spook factors as you lose your mind.
Wow, I got kind of carried away there. That's good, your short story made me think which is a plus for short stories. ^.^
When I got done writing all that I thought to myself "Wow, that story made me think of all that? I think this story is good as it is now if it made me go that deep into thought." lol
