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Savorath
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Savorath
253 posts
Nomad

Prologue:

The deafening roar in my ears shattered glass danced around me = like a freaky, shiny ballet. Red flames licked me with their burning tongues and the cracking of the burning wood seemed like sinister laughter. I could here the distant screams of the victims of the non-forgiving burning torment that slowly consumed them. I was in the fifth ring of hell; bodies burnt beyond recognition, the putrid smell of burning flesh, and crows blackening the sky, waiting for their meal to stop burning. I can't move; I am being slowly cooked alive. Yet through the pain, I still noticed the crow beside me, its intelligent features give it a gloomy figure. The shadows of the fire blanketed its body in an eerie blackness. Its head tipped to the side and its black eyes looked me up and down, as if it was judging if I was ready to eat yet, or if it wanted the pleasure to watch me die. Another crow landed beside it, then another, and another. A swarm flew down and surrounded me. They fought, pecked, and scratched each other. Their black feathers floated around, symbolizing my death. When the large black birds ended their fit, I noticed there was only one again. It strutted up next to me, and the last thing I felt was the pecking and clawing of the ferocious avian.

  • 5 Replies
Savorath
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Savorath
253 posts
Nomad

How is it?

Cenere
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Cenere
13,658 posts
Jester

It is har to read. Try making some paregraphs, then I will take a look again?

jb701926
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jb701926
283 posts
Nomad

Great, I guess.

What happens next, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!
(Does anything happen next?)

Savorath
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Savorath
253 posts
Nomad

It's a prologue; only one paragraph! But I guess when it is moved to my club I'll make some indentations.

And yes! I have more already written! I just needed some to be interested in it!

Cenere
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Cenere
13,658 posts
Jester

Prologue:
The deafening roar in my ears shattered glass danced around me = like a freaky, shiny ballet. Red flames licked me with their burning tongues and the cracking of the burning wood seemed like sinister laughter. I could here the distant screams of the victims of the non-forgiving burning torment that slowly consumed them.
I was in the fifth ring of hell; bodies burnt beyond recognition, the putrid smell of burning flesh, and crows blackening the sky, waiting for their meal to stop burning.
I can't move; I am being slowly cooked alive.
Yet through the pain, I still noticed the crow beside me, its intelligent features give it a gloomy figure. The shadows of the fire blanketed its body in an eerie blackness. Its head tipped to the side and its black eyes looked me up and down, as if it was judging if I was ready to eat yet, or if it wanted the pleasure to watch me die. Another crow landed beside it, then another, and another. A swarm flew down and surrounded me.
They fought, pecked, and scratched each other. Their black feathers floated around, symbolizing my death. When the large black birds ended their fit, I noticed there was only one again.
It strutted up next to me, and the last thing I felt was the pecking and clawing of the ferocious avian.

Like this, maybe? It makes it easier to read, when it is not one huge block of text.
But interesting text, really.

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