Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Story of Chaos Edge
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Hello, I am james McCarther, and I live in the town of Chaos Edge. Just as the name states, this town is very chaotic. Police are so corrupted they don't even do their job anymore. Someone needed to put some type of order into the town. . .unfourtunatly, I suppose that had to be me. Yes, I'm another one of those superheroes you hear so much of, but I use something different than gadgets or self-aquired powers. I use my brain. I am the mask, and I do my best to take care of all the scum inside the town. Now then, here's my life story.
Chaos Edge 3:15 P.M.
"So Jim, where ya going after school today?" Ricky, my best friend asked.
"I really have no !#@% idea what to do after school anymore" I replied.
Outside was always dangerous. The smog and dark atmosphere of Chaos Edge made it easy for thugs and gangsters to pickpocket and mug. I can't even go to the arcade without a gun! There's so much going on right now it's unbeleivable! Plus, if you were in my school, I'm pretty sure you'd be dead. The girls don't pick on the guys for fear of a bullet, and the guys have fist-fights for fun. Almost everyone has a juvy record, and those who don't are beaten up. Everyones spirit is broken at my school, except for me at least.
"Daydreaming again pal?" Ricky asked.
Snapping up my head, I looked at him as if I didn't know him.
"Whyr'ya looking at me that way dude?" He responded with a bit of defense.
"Huh? Did you say something?" I said, barely even knowing what he said. He looked behind his shoulder and saw my crush.
"Ahhh, got the hormones up yer spine eh?" Ricky teased. Pretty much ignoring the comment, I just looked down, halfway ashamed.
"Don't be that way bud, plenty have fallen for her," Ricky paused, "or at least at her feet."
Continuing our walk to our houses, we bid farewell and went to our adjacent apartments. Due to the increasing amount of murder in Chaos Edge, people started to open apartment homes especially for orphans. The owners were mainly poor, but paid the officials by killing or. . .*ahem* prostitution. Terrible place Chaos Edge is, but there's nowhere else to go. Chaos Edge is the last remaining place where there is humans. I sat down and thought for a good 3 hours, conversed with Ricky through my wall, and cried myself to bed.
- 14 Replies
Umm, for everyone who looked and read this, PLEASE REVIEW IT TOO! Even if nothing comes to mind, just comment! Why? 2 things:
1. I like to know what would float your boat better
2. This thread needs to be bumped!
If you read it, or even just read a section of it, please tell me what you think of it!
I actually read it almost as soon as you had posted it, was just to lazy to give my opinion...
It could have a better flow, but I don't think I can give constructive criticism right now... But here's a comment for you.
lol you read my stuff? ROFL, oh well, it's my current W.I.P. and I try to make an image each mini-chapter ^^. Well, thanks for actually commenting, my stories need to be bumped more ='(
Poor little thoad.
An image for each chapter-thing sounds like a very good idea.
lol, u being sarcastic about the poor me? lol.
anyways, I sorta want it to be like a story book, with concept art and everything. That way it's easier to get into the action since I can't use showing language as well as telling language. Guess that happens when you have to write 5 essays in only a week.
Just because of the 'they need to be bumped more' thing. :P
Hehe~ I personally love illustrations in books. So I approve of your idea.
lol, after I'm done cleaning my god forsaken room I'll have to pop the next chapter outta mah a**. lol.
Somehow I feel - ehrgh, reading stories you claim to have popped out your arse. :P
ROFL! I just use that in a way to say that I think up the chapter literally as I go. That's how I always write lol.
That's generally how I write too. Initially. Then I reread it a couple of times to get it to sound right and have less typos.
lol, I don't normally do that, but I do read it after I post to make sure it sounds like a story and not an essay =P. Anyways, I got the chapter good and well, I'll just need to make the art for the mini-chapter, and I really gotta finish my <bleep>ing room cuz this <bleep>ing messiness and having to clean it is srsly PISSING ME ALL THE WAY OFF >=( > > >
Chaos Edge 2:13 P.M.
I looked up at the clock, 2:13, and slumped my head onto my desk. I kept on hearing the havoc of the night last night, and only got somewhere near 1-3 hours of sleep last night. It's only one of those cruddy bully lectures. . .maybe I can just let my eyes close for a couple of minutes. . . Within the minute I was already asleep.
"James! Wake up! Now!" Ms. Rodgery yelled.
"Huh? What? Is it the Holocaust yet?" I asked with a sleepy tone
"No. . .but you slept through class again." She replied. After some jiber jabber about pretty much nothing, I went outside to my next class.
"Well if it isn't little snoozy." Greg, nicknamed 'glug' jeered.
"Listen Glug, I don't have anything to say to you besides that you don't have enough smarts for me to even listen to you," I paused for a second, "so you can go rot in hell for all I care, go away." Infuriated, Glug threw his fist at me. I was knocked down, and my vision was getting blurry.
"Heheheh, we'll learn you not to mess with me" glug said.
Chaos Edge 8:12 PM
"Ugh, where the !#@$ am I?" I whispered to myself.
"Your in the dead house comrade" A silhouette said beside me. I looked around and only saw that I was chained to a wall and there was a dim light.
To Be Continued. . .
Hmmm... Intruiging! I like the concept, although there isnt much voice in the righting. (By vioce I mean your personality.)
I do like your story so far, though.
That's your comment. ;P
lol, someone revived it. . . .and it didn't have to be me? wow, didn't see that coming, really. umm, I kinda initially meant it to not have too much personality, because the guy just about always has a straight face and likes nothing except that one girl at school, but that's besides the point.
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