I slap you with an elephant's pancreas that has been half cooked by the Iron Chef but was then stolen by Ronald McDonald who left on the street and it got ran over 3567 times and then was cleaned with sewer water and dropped off the Empire State Building and caught by me using super awesome amazing sticky gloves.
I take a white-hot poker and shove it down your throat. Then I take hot coals and make you eat them, then I make you drink water, wwhich makes steam, causeing you to explode.