Forums → The Tavern → Blond Jokes!

A blond walks into a hairdressers with her I-pod in. She says what cut she wants. The hairdresser misses that and asks again. Thinking she didn't hear, the hairdresser repeats it louder. Thinking that the I-pod is stopping her from hearing she takes it out. A few seconds later the blond drops dead on the floor. She puts the earphones on and the recording says "breathe in... breathe out"

and

A blond walks into a store. She says, can I buy that TV? The shopkeeper says, no, you're a stupid blonde. She walks out, and disguises herself as a brunette. She walks back in and says, "can I buy that TV?" the shopkeeper replys, "you're that stupid blond from before! No!" She walks out and disguises herself with a hat. She walks in and asks to buy the TV. The shopkeeper replies, " No, You're that stupid blond from before!!" How did you know?" cried the blond!? "because that's a microwave, not a TV :P"

A blond is sitting next to a rich smart man on a train. She asks the man if they can play a game. The man reluctantly agrees. The blond explains "Every question I don't know, I give you five dollars, every question you don't know, you give me $500." Thinking the man cannot lose, he agrees. He asks the blond, "What is my middle name?" The blond gives him $5. The blond asks an incredibly hard riddle. After pondering over it for quite a while, the man says, "I don't know" and hands her $500. He asks her what the answer is and she hands over $5 silently.



BTW, there is already a thread like this... I think

Ok here's one:
A blond walks into a store and asks if she can buy alligator skin boots. The store manager says no I don't serve blonds. The blond gets angry and stomps out of the store saying "Fine I'll get my own!" The store owner drove by the swamp the next day and sees the blond with a shotgun and notices several dead alligators on the shore. Then an alligator starts swimming twoard the blond and she kills it with the gun. Then she bends down and looks at the alligator's feet and says "Darn! No boots on this one either!" Hope you enjoyed it. (my friend told me it)

Yup heres one lolz

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

ok here is one lol
a bblonde walks into a store and askes for a microwave (while pointing to the fridge) and the emplooe says we don't serve blondes so she goes a way and paints her hair brown and comes back and does the same thing and the emploee says we don't serve blondies then she paints her hair pink and it happens again and the emploee says we don't serve blondess then she askes how do you know that i am a blonde my hair is pink and he says that is not a microwave it is a fridge

what do you get when you put 10 blonds togeather ear to ear?

A wind Tunnel

there are 9 blonds and 1 brunette on a rope over a cliff, the rope is breaking and they all decide one person needs to jump to save the others. the brunete says she will jump...

all the blonds start clapping.

i think everyone knows the find x question?
blonde circles x and write here is the x )

How do kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Santa, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde walk down the street. There is a quarter on the ground, who picks it up?

The dumb blonde, Santa doesn't exist and there is no such thing as a smart blonde.

ok so a blonde a brunete and a redhead are being chaced by the cops so they hid in a nearby barn...in the barn there are three potatoe sacks so each one takes one

as the cops come they see the three sacks...the cop kicks the first one with the brunete in it and hears a "meow" the cop says "oh just a cat"

the cop kicks the next one with the redhead in it and hears a "woof" and says "only a dog"

he gets to the sack with the blonde in it and gives it a kick. when he kicks it the blonde yells &quototatoe"

There was 1 brunette and 10 blonde's hanging from a rescue rope suspended from a Rescue Helicopter.
The Pilot of the helicopter said: "If one of you doesn't let go we're all going to die!" He Shouted to the girls.
They all looked down to the Shark infested sea below.
"Who would be stupid enough to do that?" They asked each other. Then they heard a voice. Coming from the brunette. "I will give my life away for you to live, I have no family to go back to, I do not think my life is worth anything..." The Burnette said with a long cry of fake tears.
The Blondes were so touched that 4 of them wiped their eyes from tears and fell down off the rope well doing so. The other 6 started clapping and also fell off.
When the brunette got back. The Pilot asked "Did everyone jump off?" The Brunette just replied "No, They are blondes... I thought you would of known what happend...They fell."