ForumsArt, Music, and WritingSkaters' songs!

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skater_kid_who_pwns
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skater_kid_who_pwns
4,376 posts
Blacksmith

The twinkle of your eyes
i was blinded by again
they look so accusingly
at a tired broken friend
your heart was torn apart again
so you take it out on me
I really wish you would see the mistakes your makeing

i'm not blame,
its still not my fault
i was only there to break your fall
but you blame me for it all
i just dont understand
i'm doing all I can
I wish you could see what its doing to me
but it ust isnt enough for little miss perfection

your fumming out loud again,
bubbling, bursting, and aiming for my head
you want me dead though I stood for you
you step out of line and i pulled you back
i should be getting your thanks
but i only get a look of pain
your hate comes to me
This isn't what i was ment to be

i'm not blame,
its still not my fault
i was only there to break your fall
but you blame me for it all
i just dont understand
i'm doing all I can
i wish you could see what its doing to me
but it ust isnt enough for little miss perfection

And now you telling me whom I'm supposed to be
though here you are with the lowest selfestem
i was your friend,
but i'm sorry this has to be the end
you are done with your self and gave up on me
this was the sorry end i knew we would see

i'm not blame,
its still not my fault
i was only there to break your fall
but you blame me for it all
i just dont understand
i'm doing all I can
i wish you could see what its doing to me
but it ust isnt enough for little miss perfection

i used to think that one day
your hand would be in mine
but you took my heart and broke it open
spilling out my love
you read my thoughts and they plaed into your hand
i wish i'd seen I was part of your plan

i'm not blame,
its still not my fault
i was only there to break your fall
but you blame me for it all
but now i understand
that doing all I can
could never be enough for little miss perfection

  • 8 Replies
slliM
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slliM
1,463 posts
Nomad

1 thing to say.

Awesome.

I wish I knew the beat you made up for it...

I would totally play that on my guitar.

I came up with a pretty awesome beat for it, but I bet yours is epically better.

I wrote a cool song, It has to many curses in it to put it up on here though...

skater_kid_who_pwns
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skater_kid_who_pwns
4,376 posts
Blacksmith

O, holding off curses was rather hard, as this happened to me.

I used to have a band......not anymore though. Our drumer moved to ohio, i mean come one! Currently looking for a new one....not wokring. The last kid who tryed out had no 4-limb freedom.

Meaning his feet and hands were like wired together.

slliM
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slliM
1,463 posts
Nomad

I had a band too... My guitarist tried to steal my girlfriend, I kicked him out, He still sends me "U Suckzorrz" Messages at 2 in the morning.

I want to write a song now.

Estel
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Estel
1,973 posts
Peasant

Not a bad song, I think you may have repeated the chorus more than necessary, but not too bad. The rhyme scheme was scattered and so was the meter. Alot of songs today would have some sort of fill or riff to plug in for a short line.

skater_kid_who_pwns
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skater_kid_who_pwns
4,376 posts
Blacksmith

Well you know rymeing ever line with the next or second to next isn't allways a good thing.

I can't play any instruments so.....can't ix that. I did however sing it through multiplue times, and figured out an awsome rythem.

Danstanta
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Danstanta
1,702 posts
Blacksmith

Well Estel's right. You repeat about the same things 4 times, try it at least 2 or 3. But still a good song ^^

Estel
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Estel
1,973 posts
Peasant

Very true. It really depend on how the tune is. If it's a constant meter, than rhyming is almost needed. Rhyming on and off may throw off a song.

Danstanta
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Danstanta
1,702 posts
Blacksmith

Yes, if their could be an example of how the song is and it's beats, it might explain how it should work and when to say the words.

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