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slliM

1,463 posts

Nomad

Posted December 30, '08 8:11pm UTC

Intro:

I walked through the double doors into the coffee shop.
"Hey...Hey Judy! Yeah, can I just have black coffee today?" I asked.
"Sure thing hun. Cuttin' back lately?" she replied.
"Nope, just wanted something different today."
I walked to one of the many desks with the macs on them. I opened one up and saw a familiar websites name in the little box.
"No way." I said as I was sucked into the internet for the second time in my life.

Enjoy.

P.S. Yes, I will be featuring certain users in the chronicles of Phil.

99 Replies

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Strop

10,816 posts

Bard

Posted March 21, '09 12:35am UTC

I own you at writing /mock

Please try to be at least a little gracious in your manner. The art forum is not for monopolisation.

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 21, '09 12:39am UTC

Please try to be at least a little gracious in your manner. The art forum is not for monopolisation.

lolk sorry strop...

You're killin' my buzz a bit though.

P.S. You're not on Windows Live Messenger/MSN, GWAH, I WANTZ U THAR. NAO.

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thisisnotanalt

9,821 posts

Shepherd

Posted March 21, '09 12:40am UTC

Your writing isn't bad, slliM, but you seem to use a bit too much of a colloquial tone during non-dialogue passages, which is generally not the best thing to do.

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slliM

1,463 posts

Nomad

Posted March 21, '09 3:14pm UTC

Yes you can, you can ask a mod to delete it, then make
"Phil's AG Journeys - Redux (or Revision, Redo, etc. etc.)"

Good idea, but I just got a better one.

Your writing isn't bad, slliM, but you seem to use a bit too much of a colloquial tone during non-dialogue passages, which is generally not the best thing to do.

I'm a grammar noob, mind telling me what colloquial tone means? Thanks for the advice though dude. I love CC / Feedback.

Kong refernence sometime? MEEBEE?

Yussss......

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Part 12:

Just then, Strop's limp body crashed through the wall to my left. He wasn't fased, and he jumped right back up, only to be smashed to the ground again by a giant anthropic rhinoscerous with a big, red letter K on it's chest.
"S***" thoad cursed under his breath "It's a Kong character. Most likely very Mary Sue." The gargantuan rhino turned it's menacing head towards us and charged. Now, he was about 20 feet away, but the monster reached us in about 3 seconds flat. Bad.
His horn threw me to the west wall about 10 feet back. I had lost sight of thoad, and figured he was in a nice little pile of guts in the corner. The beast seemed to concentrate on me, taking out his oversized baseball bat from his bag, his eyes still trained on me.
I reached into my hat and took out my knife, smiling. As I put the hat back on, the beast lunged at me, bat ready. "D*** dude!" I said as he beat me into the corner, striking my face multiple times.
I lay on the ground, motionless, a giant rhino head hovering over me like a helicopter over the ocean. He smiled, and was immedeately brought to the ground by a crowbar, held by a grimacing thoad.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hope you like it! Did somebody say eWar?

Will include other AGers soon enough.

[quote]Yes you can, you can ask a mod to delete it, then make\r\n"Phil's AG Journeys - Redux (or Revision, Redo, etc. etc.)"[/quote]\r\n\r\nGood idea, but I just got a better one.\r\n\r\n[quote]Your writing isn't bad, slliM, but you seem to use a bit too much of a colloquial tone during non-dialogue passages, which is generally not the best thing to do.[/quote]\r\n\r\nI'm a grammar noob, mind telling me what colloquial tone means? Thanks for the advice though dude. I love CC / Feedback.\r\n\r\n[quote]Kong refernence sometime? MEEBEE?[/quote]\r\n\r\nYussss......\r\n\r\n________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________\r\n\r\n[b]Part 12:[/b]\r\n\r\nJust then, Strop's limp body crashed through the wall to my left. He wasn't fased, and he jumped right back up, only to be smashed to the ground again by a giant anthropic rhinoscerous with a big, red letter K on it's chest.\r\n"S***" thoad cursed under his breath "It's a Kong character. Most likely very Mary Sue." The gargantuan rhino turned it's menacing head towards us and charged. Now, he was about 20 feet away, but the monster reached us in about 3 seconds flat. Bad.\r\nHis horn threw me to the west wall about 10 feet back. I had lost sight of thoad, and figured he was in a nice little pile of guts in the corner. The beast seemed to concentrate on me, taking out his oversized baseball bat from his bag, his eyes still trained on me.\r\nI reached into my hat and took out my knife, smiling. As I put the hat back on, the beast lunged at me, bat ready. "D*** dude!" I said as he beat me into the corner, striking my face multiple times.\r\nI lay on the ground, motionless, a giant rhino head hovering over me like a helicopter over the ocean. He smiled, and was immedeately brought to the ground by a crowbar, held by a grimacing thoad.\r\n\r\n________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________\r\n\r\nHope you like it! Did somebody say eWar? :D\r\n\r\nWill include other AGers soon enough.

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 21, '09 3:19pm UTC

lol cool, thoads next reaction in his pissy mood:
"God forbid the Tank comes by...we're having enough trouble as is"

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slliM

1,463 posts

Nomad

Posted March 21, '09 3:27pm UTC

lol cool, thoads next reaction in his pissy mood:
"God forbid the Tank comes by...we're having enough trouble as is"

Definately going in the next chapter.

Who knows, Pico might even drop by, and destroy us all. Or Jerry. Yeah, yeah, Jerry. :3

Or the "mature" section of newgrounds... loljk.

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 21, '09 3:31pm UTC

Definately going in the next chapter.

Who knows, Pico might even drop by, and destroy us all. Or Jerry. Yeah, yeah, Jerry. :3

Or the "mature" section of newgrounds... loljk.

@first part: Lol, thanks I s'ose XD

@2nd: or Domo, domo is scary ._____.

@3rd: ... I wouldn't mind that all that much actually, but strop would ban them for being TV-AD 18+ XXX in a minute, tops.

Yeah, I am a perv *distorted kitty/pervy face*

offline

Strop

10,816 posts

Bard

Posted March 21, '09 4:11pm UTC

Strop's limp body crashed through the wall to my left. He wasn't fased, and he jumped right back up, only to be smashed to the ground again

Oh noes, I've been found out...seems people have cottoned on to Strop's style having seen him crash through several walls and panes of glass... T_T

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 21, '09 6:00pm UTC

Oh noes, I've been found out...seems people have cottoned on to Strop's style having seen him crash through several walls and panes of glass... T_T

So thoad isn't the only one *looks at MW*...heheh.

and a side note for Mills/slliM, it's phased, just in case your gonna use it some more.

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slliM

1,463 posts

Nomad

Posted March 22, '09 9:23pm UTC

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Part 13:

The thin man, who was surprisingly strong for how much time he spent writing, hoisted me onto his right shoulder and took off. "God forbid the tanks show up, we already have enough trouble on our hands," thoad said, rather pissy. "and who knew Kong would send a rhino? I mean seriously, a rhino?..." He kept talking to me as he hopped through the hole in the wall where Strop lay motionless.
He sat me down next to Strop and slapped him across the face.
Hard.
The ninja horse snorted as he woke up. Giggling, the many wood nymphs of the imaginarium crowded around us. Among them, was a rather short looking man, with a penguin's nose. Fst6.
"Hello gentlemen," he said in a superior english accent, "What seems to be the problem?"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Very, very short, but I will add more to it, this on was just to introduce new characters. (fst6, the wood nymphs[all the giggly, happy, newbs of the art sections, that I would normally be])

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________\r\n\r\n[b]Part 13:[/b]\r\n\r\nThe thin man, who was surprisingly strong for how much time he spent writing, hoisted me onto his right shoulder and took off. "God forbid the tanks show up, we already have enough trouble on our hands," thoad said, rather pissy. "and who knew Kong would send a rhino? I mean seriously, a rhino?..." He kept talking to me as he hopped through the hole in the wall where Strop lay motionless.\r\nHe sat me down next to Strop and slapped him across the face.\r\nHard.\r\nThe ninja horse snorted as he woke up. Giggling, the many wood nymphs of the imaginarium crowded around us. Among them, was a rather short looking man, with a penguin's nose. Fst6.\r\n"Hello gentlemen," he said in a superior english accent, "What seems to be the problem?"\r\n\r\n________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________\r\n\r\nVery, very short, but I will add more to it, this on was just to introduce new characters. (fst6, the wood nymphs[all the giggly, happy, newbs of the art sections, that I would normally be])

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 22, '09 9:46pm UTC

Cool, I like how you made me slap Strop, hard...I'm sure I've wanted to on several occasions, since we pull quite a few cheap shots on each other.

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Cenere

13,657 posts

Jester

Posted March 22, '09 9:48pm UTC

Finally a reason to go to war with Kong!
*looks dizzily around*
Right?!

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thoadthetoad

5,642 posts

Peasant

Posted March 22, '09 9:53pm UTC

Finally a reason to go to war with Kong!
*looks dizzily around*
Right?!

HELL YEAH, LETS KILL THAT FREAKIN' K.

But I wanna go to war with NG or addictinggames the most.

offline

slliM

1,463 posts

Nomad

Posted March 22, '09 9:56pm UTC

Finally a reason to go to war with Kong!
*looks dizzily around*
Right?!

Yupp...

But I wanna go to war with NG or addictinggames the most.

I wouldn't.... They both have bigger, more spammier followers. Start from the bottom of the food chain I say... Let's all go to droidz! Jk. I used to be a member there....

offline

Cenere

13,657 posts

Jester

Posted March 22, '09 9:57pm UTC

We take down Kong first, then Addict, and then we can beat NG with out new slaves!!
Mwahahaa*faints*

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