Yes you can, you can ask a mod to delete it, then make
"Phil's AG Journeys - Redux (or Revision, Redo, etc. etc.)"
Good idea, but I just got a better one.
Your writing isn't bad, slliM, but you seem to use a bit too much of a colloquial tone during non-dialogue passages, which is generally not the best thing to do.
I'm a grammar noob, mind telling me what colloquial tone means? Thanks for the advice though dude. I love CC / Feedback.
Kong refernence sometime? MEEBEE?
Yussss......
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Part 12:Just then, Strop's limp body crashed through the wall to my left. He wasn't fased, and he jumped right back up, only to be smashed to the ground again by a giant anthropic rhinoscerous with a big, red letter K on it's chest.
"S***" thoad cursed under his breath "It's a Kong character. Most likely very Mary Sue." The gargantuan rhino turned it's menacing head towards us and charged. Now, he was about 20 feet away, but the monster reached us in about 3 seconds flat. Bad.
His horn threw me to the west wall about 10 feet back. I had lost sight of thoad, and figured he was in a nice little pile of guts in the corner. The beast seemed to concentrate on me, taking out his oversized baseball bat from his bag, his eyes still trained on me.
I reached into my hat and took out my knife, smiling. As I put the hat back on, the beast lunged at me, bat ready. "D*** dude!" I said as he beat me into the corner, striking my face multiple times.
I lay on the ground, motionless, a giant rhino head hovering over me like a helicopter over the ocean. He smiled, and was immedeately brought to the ground by a crowbar, held by a grimacing thoad.
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Hope you like it! Did somebody say eWar?
Will include other AGers soon enough.