The green light has been given! After weeks of preparation, the Contest can be launched!
This has been brewing in many users' mind for awhile. Enter the Official Writing Contest!
General Rules
1)Submissions for the context must specify the word count implemented. 2)It must adhere to the period's theme as the main idea, or at least have some connection. 3)It must be submitted by the deadline. (The deadline will be according to AG time so that people will not be confused by the timeframe/exploit difference in time zones.) 4)A winner cannot win twice in a row, though he or she can submit an entry the next week. 5)Winners get a merit.
What not to include
1)No excessive inappropriate language, such as vulgarities, swearing. This includes slandering anyone in the AG community. 2)No slandering of race, religion, culture, language of people. 3)No sexual references or innuendoes, though romantic scenes such as kissing can be included.
Actions that lead to disqualification
1)No plagiarism. If it has been discovered that the story has been copied, e.g. the plot has been copied, the user will be disqualified with immediate action. However, elements of inspiration can be allowed. 2)Only one submission is allowed for each user. So please do not create multiple accounts for multiple entries. If it has been discovered that a user has submitted many entries due to this method, he or she will be disqualified. 3)If someone's username is used as a character's name or mentioned in the story, ask for permission first. Failure to do so may lead to disqualification.
Judge: Me, though I will appoint someone else if I want to take part.
Once upon a time, in the year of our Merlin 1136, there lived a small, smart girl named Janice who lived in the Castle of the Dutchess of Pearls. Her home, Cornerstone Castle, was quite quaint for regal living standards. It was 4 stories high, and was built from small white and blush cornerstones.
A master mason had built the castle in a secret way, such that every stone shared equally for the castle's stability, or so he said. The villagers once believed that the castle would fall apart with the removal of any single stone. And the Dutchess almost proved them right, when a large section of the wall had broken away. This happened summer's last, when she hastily removed one of the pitch torches from Janice's chambers. Oh dear. She had to pay a pig farmer 3 and 7 goshdarns for its repair! (In those days a goshdarn was quite a lot of money!) Alas, the poor villager did not have any experience fixing castle walls, so he made a lean-to from pigspit thatch, which resembled a farmer's awning - it blocked the rain, but let the wind come through.
From then on, Pearl Castle was known by the villagers as Pigspit Castle. *This was the best compliment that they could give, for it was known that the beasts' saliva was used for the base in many of Merlin's magical potions.
And it came to pass that Pigspit was the one reason that Merlin picked Janice to be his apprentice. Unfortunately, today she had an exam: Master Magician, Third Degree. To miss such an important exam meant instant Death by the jaws of the Dragon! Of course she didn't want to miss it, but last night's bitter winter storm had interfered with her plans. She had stayed up to fight its chill by studying while she lay wrapped up in the feather patchquilt, a pot of hot coals warming her feet from below.
On the floor by her bedside were two scroll-tubes containing the spells she was to study. The first tube was made from softleather mousefur tied with beautiful yellow sashes. It read, "Spellcaster 3rd Degree: Remember Anything." By Silence Page. The second tube was made from perfumed Elephant tusk, sealed with a cork-cap. The scroll it protected read, "Spellcaster 3rd Degree: How to Cast Forgetfullness." by Clamor Walker.
She studied the scrolls for two and one-half candlelengths, while the storm kept its watch over her. Finally, Janice's eyes found the sleep they were looking for. But as she slept, her lips unknowingly mixed the incantations of both spells simultaneously and braided them into a magical potpurri. By the time Morning's Rose had brightened her chambers, Janice had forgotten that she remembered who she was, where she was, or what she was doing! Her mind was completely blank! How was she going to escape the jaws of the Dragon? Never fear, for Merlin had initiated her examination!
Jimmy awoke from his dream of being rich and famous, and walked into the kitchen, which was really just part of his room. Jimmy, who was actually quite poor, lived alone in a small studio that consisted of one bathroom and one "everything else" room, which the kitchen happened to be a part of. It wasn't much of a kitchen; all it consisted of was a small refrigerator, a large table, a cheap metal sink, a stove and an expensive microwave. But Jimmy didn't need anything more in his kitchen; after all, what else is necessary for a kitchen to have than what Jimmy has?
It was burning hot that day in Arizona, but that is perfectly normal for where he lived. He heated up some frozen pancakes, grabbed some orange juice, and plopped down onto his blue couch. He turned on the TV and watched for about a half hour, before he heard a knock on the door. He turned off the TV to see who it was. It turned out it was Seamus, his drunken Irish friend from next door. It was hard to imagine them as best friends, as they were nothing alike: Jimmy never drank any alcohol ever, and Seamus was never sober; Jimmy was tall and thin and quiet, while Seamus was fat and uproarious. Jimmy sometimes had trouble falling asleep just because of Seamus's crazy antics.
"What can I do for ya, Seamus?" asked Jimmy.
"Aye, Jimmy, I need yer help with sumthin. I'm tryin to fix mah TV, but me arms ain't thin enough to reach back behind the screen," said Seamus. "Could ya perhaps help me with that?"
"Sorry Seamus, but I can't help you," Jimmy said politely. "I don't know anything about electronics. Try calling Walt; I'm sure a geek like him would be able to help you."
"Okee," said Seamus, disappointedly. Seamus had never really cared much for Walt; he found him to be a boring idiot, and he bullied him throughout his life. Walt even had pictures of Seamus pretending to strangle him, but they were all broken out of anger. Seamus knew that Walt was not sane, and that what he was doing could be a big risk, but he would do anything to have his TV fixed for little or no charge, so he called Walt up.
Jimmy was just sitting down again when he heard another knock at the door. This time, it was a man whom he had never seen before. He asked him to sit down.
"What is your name?" asked Jimmy.
"Never mind that," said the mysterious man. "I'm selling Bibles. Wanna buy? You never know when you'll need God's word."
"No, thanks," said Jimmy. "I already--" but he was interrupted by a familiar call.
"Jiiiiimmmmyyyyy!" It was Seamus, and he had sounded like he'd just seen a ghost. "Jimmy, come over here quick!" Jimmy ran over to Seamus's apartment to find Walt lying on the floor, dead. "I forgot me cellphone, so I went back to me room, and then Walt showed up in the middle of me shag carpet!" Jimmy, who knew Seamus for as long as he had lived, knew that he would not have killed Walt. But the evidence pointed to him, an illegal Irish immigrant.
"Just stash him in the bathroom or something," Jimmy suggested. But it was too late. The Bible salesman stood behind them with a horrified look. He then dialed three digits into his phone.
phil the giraffe was smart. ken the mouse was stupid. phil the giraffe was tall. ken the mouse was small. phil the giraffe was thin. ken the mouse was fat. phil the giraffe was old. ken the mouse was young. phil the giraffe was agreeable. ken the mouse was disagreeable. phil the giraffe was sane. ken the mouse was insane. phil the giraffe liked bananas. ken the mouse disliked bananas. you get the idea.
one day, phil was eating off a eucalyptus tree, which is unusual for a giraffe to do, when he heard a faint sqeak. it was ken the mouse, strolling on his usual daily walk.
"hi" said phil.
"hi" said ken.
"how are you?" said phil.
"fine" said ken. "how are you?"
"im not fine" said phil. "Im sick."
"well then" said ken. "you better get to a doctor."
"not many doctors treat giraffes" said phil.
"shame" said ken. "what ails you?"
"swine flu" said phil.
"in a giraffe?" said ken.
"yes, in a giraffe" said phil.
"never heard of such a thing" said ken.
"now you have" said phil.
"how serious is it?" asked ken.
"funny you should ask that" said phil. "Im actually dying."
"youre dying?" asked ken.
"I just said that" said phil.
"oh, right" said ken. "you should start living life to the fullest!"
"no thanks" said phil.
"why not?" asked ken.
"because" said phil.
"because what?" asked ken.
"just because" said phil.
"no reason?" asked ken.
"theres a reason" said phil.
"what is it?" asked ken.
"should I tell you?" asked phil.
"yes you should" said ken.
"no I shouldnt" said phil.
"yes you should" said ken.
"no I shouldnt" said phil.
"yes you should" said ken.
"no I shouldnt" said phil.
"yes you should" said ken.
"no I shouldnt" said phil.
"yes you should" said ken.
"yes I should" said phil.
"no you shouldnt" said ken.
"okay I wont" said phil.
"why not?" asked ken.
"because" said phil.
"because what?" asked ken.
"just because" said phil.
"lets not get into this again" said ken.
"why not?" asked phil.
"because" said ken.
"because what?" asked phil.
"just because" said ken.
"okay fine Ill tell you" said phil.
"yay hooray wow cool amazing awesome 1337 yipee!" said ken.
and then phil dropped dead right onto kens entire body. they were both killed instantly. the end.
