Unfortunately I didn't get the time to finish drawing the pictures that come with this update. There are only two of them, though.
I did get the time to finish writing the updates, though! NOW SHALL WE HIT ROCK BOTTOM!
---
Siege cont.
"Who?" Dank shook Strop again.
Strop looked blankly at Dank. "Who else?"
Outside, the heavy oak door to the office started bouncing on its hinges, assaulted by a dozen fists and feet.
"In half a minute, your 'lan' is going to be for nothing," Dank warned Strop. "So you better come up with something else, or we're all going down with this ship."
Strop wrung his hands, before punching them together. "No, we have all trodden the moderator's path. I placed my trust in the teamwork that kept this place running in the hardest of times."
"Look where that teamwork has gotten us!" Dank retorted.
"Everything will be fine!" Strop shot back, looking like he was convincing himself as much as anything else. The pounding went up a notch, and cracks started appearing in the door.
Suddenly, there was a new tapping noise, from inside the room. It was coming from behind the life-size hanging wall portrait of Dank, that sat behind his desk. Dank's shoulders slumped, his face falling as if all the air had been let out of him at once.
"No, could they have found the secret tunnels? Thus marks the doom of ArmorGames."
"Wait, that's probably," Strop started, but before he could finish, the painting fell off the wall with a clatter, and a familiar fish face poked out the hole hidden behind it.
"TADAH," Ubertuna cried. "I'm here to save the day!" He fell facefirst out of the hole, landing on the floor in a sprawling heap, and Zophia poked her head through, brandishing a crumpled note.
"You're lucky we were in when this landed," Zophia told Strop, who looked the most relieved out of all of them.
"Thanks for coming guys," Strop said. "Where's Nemo?" Zophia shrugged.
"Dunno. Still Nill, I'm guessing. We had to deal with the tentacles first."
"Let us not speak of the tentacles," Ubertuna shivered, picking himself up.
"What the hell has been going on?" Dank cocked one eyebrow. "Sounds like I missed something good."
Just then, a fist broke through one of the oak doors, sending splinters into the room. Everybody whirled around. "We gotta get outta here!"
Dank rushed to one of the cabinets, smashing it open with his hammer and bringing out a large box. "This oughta hold them up for a while," he declared, fiddling with its contents before pointing to the hole. "Go on then, let's git!"
More fists pounded through the door, and then the entire door itself crumbled, reduced to kindling. Sensing victory, the raiders on the other side roared triumphantly.
"A little help here?" Ubertuna pleaded, half-in half-out the hole, legs flailing uselessly in the air. Asherlee sunk her oversized sandal into his posterior, sending him tumbling. Then before anybody could react, she picked everybody else up one by one and threw them in. The raiders started filling the room, charging towards Asherlee. She looked down at her feet, and saw wisps of smoke emerging from the box.
"Hasta la vista, chumps," she called, smashing the hilt of her broadsword on a few skulls as she clambered into the hole after the rest, and falling to the sewers below.
A moment later, the chute filled with smoke and the roar of a mighty blast.
IMAGE (stuff blowing up)
---
Don't Wait For Me
The growing crew, now consisting of Strop, Asherlee, Dragonmistress, Moe, Dank, Ubertuna and Zophia landed in knee-deep water at the bottom of the chute. Some silt and dust trickled down from above, and then there was only the occasional drip which echoed endlessly down the twisting tunnels. It was dark, almost completely black, with the exception of the occasional slit of light from the grates on the surface of the street.
"Everybody okay?" Asherlee called, to a bunch of male, female, and mechanical sounds of confirmation.
"Can you levitate?" Strop asked Moe.
"I try, but I still can't," Moe replied. Strop scooped up his jar. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out soon."
"Where are we going now?" Zophia asked.
"Armor Castle," Strop declared. "We'll regroup there, assess the situation properly and come up with a plan. Okay guys?"
"Sounds good," everybody chimed. Then everybody turned to look at 'tuna.
The fishman looked blank for a moment, until something clicked. "Ah yes, I, master of these sewers, will take you safely to the castle!" He whirled his cape around him, then spun and splashed up one of the tunnels. "Follow meeeee!"
To travel in two or three in the sewers was already difficult enough, but a whole group of seven created an indecipherable racket of sounds and splashes that overloaded the senses. Yet wading through the variable depths, they did their best to keep up with the fishman, who, having made these secret tunnels his home for years, knew them like the back of his flipper.
"We're nearly there!" he cried out, after an indeterminate period of time. Nobody could really tell what he meant, either, and they informed him to that effeect.
"No I mean it!" Ubertuna waved his arms around. "All you need to do is go left at the next intersection, take this exit and go that way and travel until you find the funny-shaped brick, then climb upwards!"
Before anybody could say anything else, there was a rumbling, then an avalanche of water as, inexplicably, a giant shark leapt out of the water, snatching 'tuna up with its jaws.
IMAGE (Ubertuna getting accosted by the shark)
"OH FISH, IT'S THE LOAN SHARK!" Ubertuna cried, beating futilely at the shark. "I SHOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED HE'D ACTUALLY OVERLOOK MY BAD CREDIT RATING!"
Dank lunged forward, swinging his hammer, but was hampered by the water and hit nothing but air. Similarly, the other moderators attacked, but could do nothing to match the shark, who was already swimming down the most watery part of the tunnel and fading from sight.
"DON'T WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEE!" was the last they heard of Ubertuna, before he disappeared out of sight.
Dank picked himself up and rushed forward, but was held back by the others. "Don't!" Dragonmistress admonished. "You'll only get lost." So he kicked at the water, shouting various curses. Zophia stared blankly at the depths of the tunnels, and they all listened as the splashing faded into the distance, until it stopped completely.
Strop took a deep breath and looked at the others. But he didn't need to say anything. Everybody was thinking the same.
---
Yep. That's right. We just lost Uber too. There's only upwards from here, and I mean it!
Next up: the pictures, so I can put this sub-chapter into the archive, then we'll begin the long, hard road to redemption. And that means more assignments!!!