I had my team set up.
14 fish men, all armed to the teeth with weapons, weapons as far as the eye could see, amazing, deadly...
well, truth be told, there are only about 27 fish-men total, and the weapons and armor were made of fish-bone and seashells and some limestone. honestly, we were a sorry looking bunch. Plus, we had been partying for about 4 months before we even tried to get this together. Squid ale s great stuff.
But if fish-people were anything, they were resilient! They could adapt to any situation, and my peeps here were gonna do the best with what they had.
I led the charge. "Charge!" I yelled to my charge.
Silently as possible, all my fishy comrades grouped together behind the raiders, weapons at the ready. Once we were in range (with the group of raiders taht was for some reason still in the forest after these four months), I yelled the signal.
"LET'S MAKE THEM WEEEEEEEEET!"
Now, what you may not know, is that fish-bone, when tempered in a certain way that only fish-people know about, is a ctually a very tough substance. Extremely, really. Which is one reason I can take such a beating, seeing how I have fish-bone.
And, ho boy, you should have seen us out there. Bone arrows piercing the chests of evn the biggest internet-tough guys, Fish-swords knocking cavalry off their horses and bleeding to death on the soft ground.
And then there was me. Because I'm awesome. I was at the front lines, no armor, no weapons, just me. I was raping out there, literally.
Because raping doesn't always mean what one thinks it means, it just means "to dominate," pretty much.
So I was dominating.
Like usual.
"Men! Hold your attack!"
The scene was grisly. Dozens of fallen raiders, all within a few hundred feet of the town gates.
"...we... we've done it!"
The cheers roared through the forest.
But... wait... "HEY!" GET BACK HERE!"
One scout managed to escape towards the gate. I chased, but the little bugger was fast. He climbed the gate and opened it up before I even got a chance to catch him.
And what I saw was horrifying.
"Chrissakes..." The whole of ArmorCity was under attack.
"Hey, uh, Manta, I don't think that did anything."
"Quiet."
I stood shocked, mouth agape. All I could think to do was ask the only person I could think of who knew what was happening what the hell was going on.
"STROOOOOOOPSICLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!"
_______________________________________________________________________
did I hear...
ponies?!