So. Zega and I had a conversation. And I'm just gonna be lazy and post the conversation because I think it explains it better than a paragraph about what is weird and what is normal.
Zega: Being weird is a bad thing... Zoph: Since when? Personally I take a great deal of pride in being weird. Zega: Being weird = Not normal = bad Zoph: Why do you think something that isn't normal is bad? Zega: Because it's not like anything else. Zoph: Why would that be bad? (Also: Being not-normal does not equal being unique.) Zega: It does. Zoph: Nope. For instance: Out of 100 people, 90 have long hair. This means it is normal to have long hair in that group. The last ten have short hair. The last ten are not unique, though they are not normal in that group either. And being unique is not a bad thing anyway. Zega: Is it a good thing? Zoph: Depends on what the not-normal (possibly unique, more likely uncommon) trait is. For example, it's not normal to be a serial killer. So if you're special in that way, it's bad to be special. It's not normal to be a sculptor either. But if you make pretty sculptures that people like, it's a good way to be special.
And then we changed subject randomly, so that's it.
But what this made me think about...
In general, do you consider being special a good thing or a bad thing? Which do you value higher: Belonging in a group and fitting in, or being your own self regardless of what people around you think?
Individualism vs. a more unified society?
Personally I think we need a society that is accepting of differences that don't hurt others, but still works as an overall unity. But we don't have that. We have tons of prejudice, we have kids being mocked for being different in even the most silly ways...
What is it with our herd mentality? Why do we shun others who are not like us away like that, particularly when we're young?
And have you ever thought about how much of an effort you make to fit in?
I stopped making an effort to fit in after middle school. I realized at that point that I didn't have the money to wear the designer clothes that others mocked me for not wearing and even after begging my mom for the Tommy Hilfiger jeans that were so popular at the time I got made fun of anyway. It didn't matter if I had the "cool" clothes or not. People who want to cut other people down are going to do it even if everyone is exactly the same. I see being weird as a good thing (as long as that weirdness isn't hurting anyone). Normal is totally relative. Among my friends weird is normal. So I guess that makes it not weird (if that makes any sense at all). I guess what life has made me realize is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you as long as you're happy with yourself.
I don't think "fitting in" is a good thing, but I also think that the whole "I'm unique" thing is parroted so often it becomes cliched.
We live in a paradoxical world. We are taught that everyone is the same, but yet everyone is diverse. We are taught that everyone should be treated the same, but many are quick to pull the differences between people. Our society revolves around conformity to run smoothly as a machine. Humans are an odd race indeed...
well generally special people in my community are labeled as children with disabilities because the majority of humans or the normal human is one without it. Therefore when people refer to others as "special" it gives a negative connotation, and acts as an insult.
As LadyT I gave up on it. It is the human nature to fit into a group (we are pack animals), but this also means that there is a hierarchy, and the weaker, less fitting people get the boot for being different, which usually means either keeping them in the group but ignore them, or kick them out and mock them for not fitting. So I did not care. One group was not interesting to me, another would most likely see I was unable to fit in, so I became my own little group with the rest of the outsiders/calmer people, and left it at that. My parents did not have that much money, and I learned early on to not ask for stuff, because they couldn't afford it. So ended up wearing whatever was in the closet of old and cheap clothing, and doing what I do best, being asocial, nerdy and creative. Later on I have had conversations with my former classmates, who has been admiring my way of being myself, and not caring about the group. They respected me for it, and really wanted to be like me, but never had the courage. And though it is kinda flattering, I never think they actually got the consequences of being a loner. Hardly having any friends, being the one who got asked for help, but never got anything in return, not being part of a social life (which might be why I feel better around books than people), and creating a strong, loyal bond to the few friends I accepted and learned to trust, but never too much, because I had learned that growing apart was something that could happen over a summer.
It teaches you some things, this being special/abnormal/whatever, but it is just as much how you cope with it as the being a loner itself. Like.. Never trust people to do what they are supposed to. Make sure to know all the stuff for a project, because they might not be at school just that one day, when you have to present it. Stuff like that. /Blah
I think both qualities are important. Unity is crucial because it encourages harmony and cooperation. Individuality is important because not everyone thinks the same way, and can bring positive changes to accepted behaviours/process. Getting the correct mix, I would say is difficult.
What is it with our herd mentality? Why do we shun others who are not like us away like that, particularly when we're young?
Honestly? I dunno. A need to feel superior? Fear of the unknown? As for why particularly when we're young.. well. Young people typically lack experience & intelligence. They're still growing and learning.
And have you ever thought about how much of an effort you make to fit in?
At work, I make a considerable effort to fit with the rest of the staff. It's important that the production staff feels comfortable around me so that I can do my job efficiently, and also so that I'm not causing any problems that might result in my termination. I should note - it is very easy for me to adapt to read people & be what they want me to be.
In my social life, I don't make any effort at all. The friends I make are the people I fit with, and everyone else... well... Not interested.
we need individuality for christianity cause religion promotes people to be open minded, and not gullible. it promotes skeptics and people to make their own opinions. christianity never tells people they should follow a silly set of rules.
Yeah... Another reason for becoming a librarian > >;
As HiddenDistance said, both the qualities is important. Without being an individual being, you would end up being left out, because you stop thinking yourself, and follow the herd around. Without some unity, you end up kinda mad, because we are not made for being alone. At least some interaction between the different people are important, and being part of a group of people makes you feel better.
I used to make a big deal of being different and being a victim of persecution and etc. etc. which is perfectly natural. I also spent a lot of time in the political tides of trying to prove the worth of being unique.
But I'm currently not at all concerned with this. In a way it's more constructive to prove that those odd quirks people might persecute you for aren't that big a deal and just are another part of a well-rounded person who can just wear things without trying too hard. Know what I mean?
Humans are just arrogant bastards that don't like things being different from them because they don't know how to adapt to fit that change, which is why people with similar interests often become friends. People don't care about individuals who are "weird" if they're out of sight and mind because it makes them feel superior knowing that they fit in, and have something to rely on. Unfortunately if often makes people fake who they really are just to fit in. We really are a messed up species
I pride myself in being unique in the arts, food, music, clothing, and interests I follow. I do things that I like and I Love being this way. I never do things because other people do them, or because others tell me to do them. I do things because I think it's the right thing to do, or it's something that I would like to do. I also pride myself in thinking creatively and differently from others.
I have respect for people who are different or unique. Whenever I see someone who is different from the rest, I am fascinated and interested. One thing that really bugs me are sheep people. People who just do things or believe things because someone told them to, or because other people do make me nauseous. I'm fine with any methods, interests, and beliefs people have as long as they have put some thought into it and they are doing it individually.
I really don't try to make a big deal out of being weird or normal. The only thing I really worry about is being myself. If people can't except me for me then I don't hang around with them. I like people who don't mind if I do odd things (one of my favorites is randomly saying booger just to see peoples reactions) or get excited over silly stuff and I appreciate those who do the strange things they want to do no matter what other people think.
Another reason for becoming a librarian
It would be awesome to be a librarian. I think I'm a little too excitable though.
