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What? What does that poem supposed to mean and why did you put it on meh thread?

Please just comment on teh writings.

do you write poems with themes other than teen angst.

before you ride my tail about lack of ryhme, it's called free verse, i think it gets your idea across better with less focus on the phono aesthetics. i guess it depends if you're writing a poem to have real meanings or just to sound pretty

that poem is just a way of pointing out how easy it is for teens to become selfish poets. something which you might want to avoid

that poem is just a way of pointing out how easy it is for teens to become selfish poets. something which you might want to avoid

I never thought you were this kind of person... o_o Nice dude!

I never thought you were this kind of person... o_o Nice dude!

It's been a day and still no feedback.
It seems nobody likes me. T_T

Just incase you are to lazy to go back a page and read the story I will repost it for you lazy people.

Well, I wrote this one due to my need to right a story about the sea and someone dieing, alone. -_-

Out at Sea

"Name"

"John Packham"

"Ahhh, John. You must the newest recruit to the team."

"Yes sir! I have dreamed of this my whole life."

"Well kid, it ain't no carnival ride. This is hard back breaking labor. You sure you up to it?"

"Yes sir!"

"Alright then. Bill, escort him to his position."

Yes this is John's dream: being out at sea pulling in the fish, breathing the salty sea air. Making money doing what he loved to do. When he was a kid, he loved to go fishing. All summer if he wasn't at a friends house he was out at the lake fishing with his dad. He always watched that show, umm, Deadliest Catch was it. That was his dream being there in Alaska out in the middle of the ocean. What he didn't know was that he was in for the time of his life. Yes, this was going to be back breaking labor, excruciating pain will be there, always. He was just a lad; he wasn't ready for the ride of his life.

As Bill got him to his position, the team captain came in.

"You ready. Here is your first job. Take that Box over there and toss it out there in the water about, errrmm, twenty-five yards."

"Ok sir."

John picked up the box and heaved it over to the edge of the ship. "Dang," he thought, "this is one freakin heavy box." After his struggles he got it over the side, swung it with full force, and heaved it about 15 yards.

"Not exactly was I was expecting but I guess it'll do. You are just a little lad. It's going take a lot work and practice to become a master of the seas."

"I'll try my best!"

"That's the spirit."

Both of them walked over to the cabin of the ship.

"Guys, I want you to meet the newest recruit."

"Hello! I am John Packham!"

"He seems happy to be on this death trap."

"Death trap? I love fishing. It has been my dream."

"Yeah, yeah ok. Now that everyone knows each other lets
eat. My God I'm starving."

"You're always starvin Captain. Hahaha!"

As they ate away at their pork, beans, and cornbread, the captain's son came in, Johnny, asked his dad to come with him privately.

"What do you want? I was eating a delicious meal there; you know not to disturb me."

"Look dad. At the monitor."

"What is it?"

"You tellin me that you haven't never seen a weather broadcast before dad."

"Ohh, that's what that is. Oh my god is that what I think it is."

"Yes."

"Well why haven't we received any calls yet?"

"Well the tropical storm hit the main base at land and broke all of the lines and communication towers."

"Dear God this is bad, this is bad. What are we going to do?"

"I thought you would tell me dad."

"We'll have to get in the bottom most cabin and stay there 'til this beast passes over."

He gathered the team and told them the news. The vets there were ready because this happened to them about three years ago. They hadn't got the report but about 20 minutes before it hit. They tried to steer out of its direction but he was just to fast for them. Yep, Hurricane Charlie had hit them with force that they had never seen before. But somehow and only God knows how, they and the boat managed to live.

As they got ready for it, John was in a panicky state. He was pacing back and forth across the floorboards wondering how this could have happened to him. He was good child, never did anything wrong, went to church every Sunday, and always did what his parents told him to do. It just didn't seem right for God to punish him for no reason. The captain finally got him to calm down and come with him down to the cabin.

"Calm down boy, we went through this three years ago. You'll be just fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

'O..ok th..then."

They sat there on the cold floor talking about something random. John was there in a corner in the fetal position shaking back and forth. The other crew members decided not to talk to him and just let him be, seeing him in this condition. The storm started and man was it a raging beast! The seas were swaying back and forth; the lighting was everywhere, striking the water and electrocuting the nearby fish. The boat was shaking, rattling, and any other movement you could possibly imagine.

The crew was being shoved across the floor as they were holding on to tables. In the mess the sail of the boat got ripped of and the boat started swinging even more. Seas swinging and swaying caused the boat to fly up in the air getting tossed more than 37 yards. The people inside were getting slung all around and body parts were everywhere tables, chairs, and computers were all over the place when the boat landed John was knocked out colder than Antarctica.

When he finally gained his conscience back he found himself in the middle of the ocean all alone. None of the crew seemed to be within distance. He tried screaming but nobody answered. He started to cry out loud.

"What did I do to deserve this?"

He was out at sea, a nice young lad with a big dream turned all wrong. All atempts to call out to someone failed and he was to injured to swim. He was left there to die, alone out at sea.

Hmmm, well Sam, it has a nice plot, but it was rather abruptly written I feel, the scenes too fast. And sometimes, the sentence length is about the same, hence it got hard reading after awhile.

And, the dialogue could have been more realistic, for example the captain did not sound very worried, almost as if he was treating the storm as a little thing.

Overall, good story!

Hmmm, well Sam, it has a nice plot,

but it was rather abruptly written I feel

And, the dialogue could have been more realistic, for example the captain did not sound very worried, almost as if he was treating the storm as a little thing.

Overall, good story!

selfish poet as in writing all about ypur own problems

What's wrong about writing about my own problems?

That is how most writers pour thier emotions into the piece and thus making it better.

it can

o_o thats alot of stuff

Yeah it is. Did you actually read it though?

Meh Pictures I just came up with in MS Paint. Feel free to say what you wish about them.

Depressed Stickman

I made this while listening to Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams



Hallucination, This is What Its Like

Yeah, I was bored.

Anyone?

Ahh, why do i even try.

*walks away*