ForumsArt, Music, and WritingThe Spam Wars

93 16968
TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

Chapter 1 (The really boring part):

The campfire crackled, several friends and war companions were sitting around it. They were all veterans of the conquests of Kongregate and YouTube. They were now a mercenary force, working for Armor Games. They were all quite young, although they have experienced much in their short lifetimes.
Among them were Manta, a young and experienced warrior from the swamps of Armor Games. He is a generally happy person although he likes to hide it. Most of the time heâs intelligent, although he can be quite inexperienced and cynical. His favorite weapon was his Bo Staff, although he could easily whoop on you with his fists. He has a common sentiment, a deep hatred of the elite spamzorz. Quite an amphibious character, as comes with his species.
Another one was Random, a very slim character. He was almost stickmanish, and about 1.5 meters tall. He was from central Armor Games, near the city of Pwong. He hates racist people and loves those that walk among the intelligent. He is quite the advice giver, although isnât very talkative. He has a unique ability. This very rare disorder is called Shape Shifters Disorder. Basically, he can shape shift. He has one weapon, the weapon of choice for thieves, the crowbar.
Next is Kip, the youngest member. He is the teams mage, constantly starting campfires with his pyromaniac habits. His gift is quite natural, as he is partly dragon. He is from the far north mountains, near the border with Miniclip. He has no weapon other than his pyromanctic ability. He has shadow robes for armor. He is immensely strong, once known for being able to lift a boulder at 4. Has a deep disliking of the spam. Both types. He once set a river on fire, quite a feat. He is quite partial towards chili.
Finally is the leader and oldest, Pixie. He is middle height and is relatively thin. He has short brown hair as well. Quite the character, he often gives random quotes for no apparent reason. He has always followed the rules as he likes to not hurt innocent people. He is generally fair, and often depressed. He is from the island of Armor Isle. He has quite the odd weapon set. A rubber chicken with a pulley in it and a pirate's cutlass. The rubber chicken is often used to distract his enemies as he chops them up with his cutlass. He is partial to fish 'n chips and is a supporter of Arsenal Football Club. Is often seen listening to BritPop on his MP3 Player.

All of these warriors have little idea of the danger that approaches the land, and no idea of their impending roles in the doom that will grip the land. They have no idea of the death and darkness that will befall the land of Armor Games. And no idea of the unique characters they will encounter and watch fall to the hands or spammers and flamers.

Over 700 kilometers away in the lands of YouTube ride two lone warriors, deep in hostile territory. They are among the rare and mysterious Armor Games riders. However, these two are a rare breed. The kind that never backs down until the job is done. Never giving up. Only death can stop them.
The one of the left following is Moat, an apprentice of the legendary rider TSL3. A very talented warrior, although you would never guess it from his small stature. He never takes his helmet off, and very few know what he looks like. He is proud and occasionally arrogant, and angered very, VERY easily. The worst of his fits occurred years ago. Classified material. He is a very nice and honest guy, although uses sarcasm from time to time, a habit TSL3 disapproves of. He has many hatreds. Among them spammers, n00bs, idiots, idiots who think they're smart and people who don't like lasagna. He has a very basic weapon, the one handed sword. He is very skilled in its use. He has a modification of the riders' armor, although its composition is unknown, it's known as Moats Special Plate Armor.
The other rider, an obscure character, TSL3, is a legendary fighter who is a veteran of 4 wars. No one knows much about him, although he is relatively big. 1.88 meters tall and relatively stocky to be exact. He is known for his tremendous strength on the battlefield. He is a bit of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Half the time he is cocky, often egotistical and treats everyone like a lower class. On the other half he is friendly, helpful and is constantly helpful. Only one thing stays the same, his cold and ruthless nature. He is most known for his battle axe, Spam Killer. It requires tremendous strength to wield and is very big. He has the standard riders' armor, with a twist. Instead of aluminum and tungsten alloy, it's titanium and tungsten alloy, and very light. He loves all types of Italian food, especially spaghetti. He likes taking long rides listening to Metallica and Black Sabbath on his MP3 Player. Has a tendency to enjoy cutting elite spamzorzs' heads off.

These two are hot on the trail of a fugitive, known as Buggy Virus. A general from the YouTube wars and wanted for war crimes by the Mods, he was responsible for the Massacre of Armor Isle. He was pretty obscure until then, and he will soon make his rise, spreading spam and evil among the land fighting for Newgrounds. This is the tale of the war of Newgrounds. Many die many more suffer. In the end, the spam is eradicated, and long lasting peace will settle over the land of Armor Games.

I hope you like it! And very sorry about the weird symbols. I hate Word. And if no one likes action stories, this is not for you. No blood and gore though. I find that classified under obscene material.

Enjoy!

  • 93 Replies
fluffybunny422
offline
fluffybunny422
1,184 posts
Nomad

Wait so what?
I joined so now what?

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

It's a story. I'll probably base an RPG off of it later. In about a week and a half.

fluffybunny422
offline
fluffybunny422
1,184 posts
Nomad

ok well I made a different character so check him out

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

I did. Everyones characters will be used at some point in the story, so don't wonder of it doesn't make it automatically.

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

Chapter 2, Part 1:

The campfire crackled. All but one of the young warriors lay asleep. Kip, the half dragon, lay there, staring at the stars. He had been ordered by Pixie to keep watch and keep the fire going, as noobs have a deathly fear of fire. All alone out there, they were quite vulnerable to a night assault.
As he lay there, he couldn't help but wonder about his short life. All the people he'd killed, all the friends he watched die at the hands of the spammers. All the villages he watched burn at the hands of the flamers. He sat there for literally hours thinking about these things. Everything he thought about kept bringing back the same outcome he knew was coming. Death. The only way to keep Armor Games and all its' inhabitants safe was to fight the spammers, and all their allies.
Suddenly, as if out of the blue, Manta stirred. He had woken up. One of the things Kip hadn't expected. Manta, as if everyday on queue, woke up at 9:00 clock. It is currently 7:00, so Kip was surprised.
"What are you doing up so early?" Kip asked.
"Something doesnât feel right. Something big is approaching." He replied.
"Well go back to bed. Nothing is coming." Kip said, starting to get a little agitated.
"What did I say? And yes, something is coming. Iâm going to check it out." Manta stated, a little offended.
"Fine, waste your own time." Kip said. He was tired, so he just gave up, instead of fighting as he usually does.
As Manta left the small camp, he went in the direction that his gut feeling told him. He had no idea that he was approaching the standard war path of an Armor Warriors patrol. As he kept creeping through the forest he came across a road. Right in front of him was a dip. So deep was this dip, that he couldn't see down it. As if out of the blue, the patrol came up over the hill and saw Manta.
"Hey you! Stop!" One of the patrolmen ordered.
As he said that Manta took off like lightning. He didn't want to get caught by potential spam warriors, converted AG Warriors who follow the spammers, as they would most likely kill him. Unfortunately, he did the not so smart idea and ran directly in the direction of the camp. He had no intention of getting caught, and he thought that they could fight them.
Immediately, the warriors followed him. An entire force of 200 AG Warriors started running as fast as they could to catch the potential spy. Fluffy, a 21 year old lieutenant and leader of the patrol, was at the back riding on horseback when he saw his entire front rank break and follow a small, lizard fishlike person. Wondering what was going on, he attempted to yell at them to stop, but they were already too far out. He tried galloping to them, but was hit by a massive fireball from Kip. His horse died immediately but he survived burned and bruised. He got up from the ground he had landed on and pulled out his own fireball. He threw it at Kip but Kip avoided it and launched several more fireballs.
Three hundred meters away some skirmishes were going on between the warriors and Pixie. He was attempting to distract them with his rubber chicken to no avail. Eventually he just pulled out his cutlass and struck down the two warriors attempting to kill him. All of the sudden an eagle swooped in a picked up several warriors and threw them, killing one and injuring five.
All of this continued on while Manta was looking for a patrol that could help them. Shortly afterwards, he was captured and brought back behind the lines where he saw several noobs and Kip. Not to long afterwards Pixie and Random were brought in.
"Great, now weâre going to most likely die." Pixie said in his usual depressive tone.
"Oh ya, thatâs really helping Pixie." Random said sarcastically.
"Well, itâs true. Weâre going to die. You know it." He replied depressively.
"No weâre not. If we were going to die, we would already be dead. Besides, spammers donât usually capture, bind and shackle their own kind." Interjected Manta, motioning towards the noobs.
Fluffy walked in, with bandages all over him and looking quite indignant. They all sat there looking at him with the expression of 'give me you best shot' on their faces. And he did, sticking his fireball in Randoms' face.
"Who are you?" Fluffy demanded.
"Why should I tell you?" Random replied in a smart alec tone.
"Because I'll kill you if you don't." Fluffy replied indignantly.
"What'd I tell you? Theyâre going to kill us." Pixie interrupted.
"SHUT UP!" Fluffy demanded.
"Why should I?" Random replied.
Fluffy then grabbed a knife and sticks it to Randoms' throat, "Was I talking to you?" he demanded.
"I donât know, were you?" Random replied, maintaining his smart alec tone.
Giving in to his anger, Fluffy stabbed the knife deep into Randoms' hand, impaling it. Random immediately screamed, alerting an outside guard. He ran in, expecting a prison break, but instead found a knife driven clean through Randoms' hand.
Kip up to this point had been quiet, but couldn't take it anymore. He blasted Fluffy away and broke his chains loose. The guards immediately knocked every single one of them out while they contact their superiors.

Several hours later they were all awake and in the barracks, wondering what had just happened.
"What happened?" Asked Kip, not directed at anyone in particular.
"I donât know. . . ." Replied Random.
"At least we didnât die.\\"â Said Pixie, slightly optimistic for the moment.
"Manta? You awake?" Asked Random.
Manta just laid there, wondering himself what had just happened. He himself had no idea. One minute they were being tortured, the next they were in some barracks somewhere.
"Manta? Hello? You in there?" Asked Kip.
"Huh? What? You say something?" Manta finally replied.
"Um, ya. I did." Kip said, looking puzzled.
A guard stumbled in, looking quite afraid. He was young, younger than all of them. He shook his head out the door, in obvious displeasure. The friends looked at him. He looked back, with obvious fear in his eyes. His name was Dudeguy, a private from the sixteenth guard division. He had his usual intimidating shark suit on, but the friends had seen far worse. They started to chuckle.
"Hehehe, that's funny." Kip chuckled.
"No kidding. Who is this kid?" Pixie asked sarcastically.
"S. . . Stop chu. . . Chuckling. Nowow." He said, stuttering severely.
Manta and Random stared at him. Just stared. They were bottling up their laughter.
"Um, okaayy. I think Iâll leave this one alone." Random said sarcastically.
Dudeguy managed to pick up his act, and stopped stuttering. Pulling out his crossbow, he pointed it at them.
"Come with me." He ordered.
"Fine. Guys, come on." Pixie said, still laughing a little.
As they walked with him, an arrow bearing the insignia of the noobs landed right in front of Dudeguy. A guard immediately shouted that they were being attacked by no less that 500 noobs and 50 spammers.
"What the heck?" Dudeguy said, shortly before a rain of arrows hit the camp.
The noobs charged over a hill and were rushing into the camp, shooting arrows and throwing axes. Suddenly a fireball of epic proportions flew out of a tower and slaughtered several noobs as well as a spammer. It retreated back to him immediately. Dudeguy immediately lead the group to the armory, where their weapons were held. Kip stayed outside where he started to blast away the oncoming noobs.
"Attack!!!" One of the spammers yelled, shortly before getting impaled by a javelin.
Bodies were dropping left and right, however, very few AG warriors had been killed. Yet.
Shortly after the attack started, the companions got out of the armory armed to the teeth. The camp was completely overrun, with small skirmishes everywhere. Towards the barracks, three noobs were hacking a soldier down. Further down the boulevard a spammer cut down several warriors. He was shortly shot by several archers and turned into a pincushion.
Manta, with his Bo Staff charged some noobs and a spammer who were trying to kill a warrior. He immediately cracked the spammer over the head, killing him instantly. The noobs attempted to attack him but met a similar fate.
Pixie, while distracting the oblivious noobs sliced each and every one of them down with his cutlass. Kip finished them off with a few fireballs.
Random shifted into an eagle again, and started to attack the little goblin like noobs. He would swoop down and grab several of them, fly high up into the air then drop them to their certain deaths. Other times he would shift back into his base form and crack some skulls with his crowbar.
Several hours passed, the battle raged on. The battle was starting to draw to a close for the night as the noobs retreated. They were lost, had no leaders and no food. They were scared but were willing to kill everyone.
Everyone knew what was coming. They would bring reinforcements, and the warriors would be subsequently slaughtered. Everyone prepared fortifications for the impending nigh assault. Everyone was kept awake and fully armed. No one was expecting what happened next.

I hope you like it. I thought the first chapter was better, but that's me. This one was somewhat rushed. Part 2 will go back to TSL3 and Moat. Also, sorry about any symbols.

dudeguy45
offline
dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

Brilliant! I knew my shark suit was funny.

the_manta
offline
the_manta
4,535 posts
Peasant

That's really good. I would have liked more major @$$ kicked on my part, But no matter.

There were some repeated words, and that bugged me, but I'm obsessive compulsive, so don't worry too much. Just cut down on repetition later on.

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

The thesaurus wasn't much help, so that wasn't changeable. I myself am bugged at how many words repeated, but I couldn't change it.

Bluydee
offline
Bluydee
3,426 posts
Nomad

Wannabe: When will I be in it?

random_player_of_ag
offline
random_player_of_ag
2,636 posts
Nomad

This one was better.
The following comments are brought to you by Crowbaristic, Randy's favourite crowbar store:

I iz teh eagle.
Me hand, it hurts.
I'm sarcastically great.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well done T.
It kinda reminded me of HarryPotter7. When they're running away.
I loved it.

^-^

I'm expecting more.

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

Wannabe: When will I be in it?


Lets see. . . How does never sound?

You'll never be in it. I will not pollute my stories with actual spammers.
Bluydee
offline
Bluydee
3,426 posts
Nomad

Wannabe: No, I don't really like the sound of never. And as for

polluting it... it would be like throwing a water bottle into a dirty lake. With **** floating at the top.

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

No, it's like throwing poop into a bathtub.

You're not in it and that's final.

TSL3_needed
offline
TSL3_needed
5,579 posts
Nomad

A completely clean bathtub. Now stop commenting on my thread unless you have constructive criticism.

dudeguy45
offline
dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

Hey, TS, make him a spammer I kill. Heh heh *wink* *nudge*

Showing 16-30 of 93