Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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Well that was speedy if I do say so myself.
It's been a long time since I judged, so I hope you all enjoy.
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The "Clapping your hands and counting doesn't hurt" Award
Rise thy black shield
Mask yourself, for all women
Hath fury of love
~salvidian
It seems to me this individual's shield is protecting him from women. Nice old English vocab, but your first line is only 4 syllables. Other than that, thought-provoking haiku.
This tree held by fire
Caressed branches fall and burn
As flames yearn for heights
~aknerd
After a fierce argument with myself, your syllable scheme is off. "Fire" has two syllables. It was a nice "haiku" otherwise, but it also doesn't fit the theme, unless the fire has a crush on this tree.
Sorry, but you two are disqualified.
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The Cultured Gentleman Award
Michael is full of
love and hate, searching for his
dear sister Laurie.
~GhostOfMatrix
I'm sure I would be more appreciative of this haiku if i knew the reference... *searching google*... Ah, Halloween. "But dudeguy, you've never seen Halloween? What a queer!" Yes, I know, but one thing about haikus is that they should usually be as universal as possible. Hopefully achmed is more cultured.
The Optimistic Bookworm Award
Love is like a book.
When the beginnings look bleak;
They end happily.
~CheapCheep
Except, of course, the Harry Potter series, where the formula is revered. Nice haiku, good grammar with the semicolon, and nice metaphor.
"To the school counselor" Award
cutting hearts daily
ripping emotions apart
deathly love come here.
~killersup
Not the gushy love that I expected from this theme, so nice diversion. It gives me the idea of physical carnage, but it can also be a metaphor for ending relationships. Bravo.
Wheeeeeeeere, is love? Award
Love dropped down and died
Hope flowed away to find it
but it was lost, gone
~murasaki
Niiiiiiiice. I like the personification, and the repetition at the end is reinforcing. Also fits the theme nice. Good haiku.
"To the Dictionary" Award
Seek venture my sweet
Palpation of thy heart beat
let fly, dread to fall
~jazmoon
I admit, I had to look up palpation for this. Once I found out what it meant, I think you confused your words. Assuming you meant Palpitation, not Palpation (which is physical feeling to determine size, doesn't really fit) your haiku is excellent. I'm always down for rhyming haikus, it may not be traditional but whatever. Excellent vocab, but I'm gonna cut you a break since Palpitation would mess up your syllable scheme, and you didn't technically write it. Other than that, excellent haiku.
Love in the Cornmaze Award
Lost in labyrinth.
I follow her lovely voice.
Eyes closed, heart open.
~dair5
The last line is a killer. Theme fitting. It shows how blind love is, and nice vocabulary. Interesting how you put a period after the first line. It does break up the flow a bit, but that's a minor issue.
Classic Award
"Don't cry; I'll return."
Yet tears overflow my heart;
I must pursue her.
~jeol
Get the girl, man. Not many people use quotes in haikus, so nice job with that. Good grammar, and your haiku probably fits the theme best. Good job.
Quest Activated Award
Elusive temptress,
Who we all go in quest of
Stop running away
~goumas13
Another good fit for the theme, I like how you make love a "quest", which it truly is. You could of, in the last line have said "Stop fleeing from us". Ya know, big words impress me. But nice haiku.
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And the winner is:
dair!
Nice haiku man. You nailed the theme and brought up how blind love is... since there is no merit.. I present to you...
THE INTERNET!
I feel like I did a good job on the track to getting merits back, so keep up the good work guys.
Happy haiku'ing!