Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Well, that said, heres the rules:
1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)
Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...
The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond
(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'
- 5,299 Replies
It isn't a matter of how certain accents pronounce it but how it is supposed to be pronounced.
According to my dictionary, it can be used both ways, so would you kindly shut it with the argument?
Gods hands reign me in
I cannot stop my orders
They won't let me be
Well it's almost two in the morning and I need some serious sleep so I won't go with a full bodied judging now.
This week, Wolf1991 deserves the first place and the merit.
Wow...I'm kinda surprised (I read all the entries XD)
Um, just a quick question? Do I actually receive a merit because this is the second one that I've won (won the first on the poetry contest) and haven't received any yet. Just asking.
Wolf, you actually have to ask a mod about the merits, just ask cenere or strop, and be sure to post a link to the page where it's stated that you've won and voila! Merit for you.
As for why you've won, I'm completing the judging post now, and let me say that you deserved it.
I'm sorry if this troublesome jufging has annoyed everybody, I'm sure explanations will light you up regarding my choices.
Judging post
Because of time issues, I'll be developping less on the general award section and more in the ranking one, so if you want precisions about your haiku, knock on my pofile's door...and bring coffee...
The Lonesome heart award: Avorne
My broken heart weeps
a venomous gaping wound
Alone and anguished
Simple, effective, you feel the pain through the vivid imagery. Nice one as always Avorne.
The Inner demons award: EnterOrion
Infernal demons
Battle to destroy my mind
I'll never give in
Epic and crude, you go straight to the point. It can easily relate to any struggle humans have to go through in their lifetime; it's an imaged way to describe the anguish of struggling. Good.
The ''complicated'' relationship award: pHacon
Release me from this
Pain and misery I feel
Return to my life
I can't guess if you're talking about being a prisoner or just being in couple, since both are pretty much alike, but good job making us feel the distress and the urge to escape. That's what we want, emotion!
The ''Oh! The test is today'' award: Cenere
Oh horrible me
Why must I lack what I need
Deadline tomorrow
I like how you took the theme out of his overly serious context. It's funny since I'm the kind of person to completely forget about exam dates and study, and I must say that it's pretty harrowing; viva la pressure! Very nice one Cen.
The ''What doesn't kill you...'' award: vinster132
Pain and suffering
Oh my...that hurt me badly
Yet I'm still living
Incredible improvement in the flow since last time. Good application of the theme; anguish's not there only to leave you broken, but I'll develop more about that in the ranker section. Keep submitting Vinster, it's getting a lot better!
The conciliation award: wolf1991
To whom shall I tell
My sorrow? That which drowns me,
And yet, brings me hope.
That Haiku is incredible wolf, it reminds me Hesse's writting...Which is a blessed thing for you.
The Van gogh award: aknerd
Been dull since you left
So I cut off my left ear
It helped a little
The escape of suffering through greater pain...I appreciate how you wrote this with
The judge award: FallenSky
Ouroboros days;
A dark and acidic pitch
killing me slowly
Award says it all!
The improvisation award: KingLemon
The teacher walks in
Handing out the A.P. Test
I did not study
Makes me think of my time in high school; I used to be the guy who had 90% + without studying, and everyone would get mad at me ^^. In any case, great verbalisation of the ''ost test stress''...
The teary eye award: MoonFairy
The greif that I felt
As you tore my little heart
Is too deep to see
Good job at using the emotion this efficiently, it's a really saddening haiku. Nice job.
The we will miss you award: samdawghomie
Pain flows through my soul
I fall to the floor, weeping
A loved one is gone
I like the rhythm on that one, it's a very nice entry sam, plus it's quite sad (that being of course a good thing).
The broken award: jdoggparty
To lose a loved one
Is the worst thing in the world
My heart and soul falls.
The fact that I put this one beneath samdawghomie's one is purely coincidential, as is the ressemblance between the two I guess. Anyways, it depict quite accurately what it feels like to lose someone very important to you; it's heart/mind breaking.
Ah! finally the ranking section, I'm very busy these days people, I'm very sorry for that late judging post, I know how it's like to wait after judging ^^.
Styrofoam award: samdawghomie
Pain flows through my soul
I fall to the floor, weeping
A loved one is gone
Well, you won your place here over jdogg because I thought the flow was a little better; I like how the comma at the second line brings up a little pause to appreciate the word weeping, just before starting the last line. Plus you've used the theme well, nice job making it in the rankers, this round was pretty good!
bronze award: Aknerd
Been dull since you left
So I cut off my left ear
It helped a little
I appreciate how you wrote this with such disinterest, as if it was normal to cut off a part of your ear. It brings a more composed perspective to the theme, and it's well thought how you can use greater pain to escape anguish.
silver award: MoonFairy
The greif that I felt
As you tore my little heart
Is too deep to see
Seeing how intensity was a fair criteria to rate a theme such as anguish, MoonFairy's haiku really had its place here. It's terribly well pictured, and you just wish that you'll never get to feel this kind of pain, nice job Moon.
gold award: Avorne
My broken heart weeps
a venomous gaping wound
Alone and anguished
Quite a good entry, you can really feel the anguish oozing out of that one. It feel as if being alone only added up to the pain, and it gives a remarkably sad impression. Good job.
platinum award: wolf1991
To whom shall I tell
My sorrow? That which drowns me,
And yet, brings me hope.
Okay, we'll take a close look at that one since even the winner is surprised to have won. First, I'm a big fab of ''conciliative writting'', and I find magnificient the way that you made possible for anguish to be a positive theme, whereas everyone painted it as utterly painful (which is not a bad thing). The rhythm is still a little off but then again, it's better than last time. You won mainly because of your use of the theme, because as we all know, it's impossible for good to exist without bad, and it's impossible to feel alive without such burning emotions as anguish for example. It's truly masterful how you made hope come out of sheer anguish; how you conciliated them in a transcendental harmony. Bravo! You should read Hermann Hesse.
Here, I hope I'm making a decent job. Feel free to tell me if I'm not a good judge, I'll be glad to leave my place to woever wants to try out. I sincerly hope I'm not vexing anyone, and sorry if this is not going as you wanted, this is all new for me ^^. Now enjoy the next theme, and good luck to everyone!
Well Orion, the Haiku for the last theme was incredible, now I'm starting to feel guilty for not giving you the merit. In any case, did teehee claim her merit, I didn't see her participate for that round?
You're gonna win someday (If you haven't won the haiku contest already), Orion, your poetry is very very good.
Yes I did claim my merit though.
So...what's the new theme? Or are we going by it's decided by the winner again?
The rhythm is still a little off but then again, it's better than last time
Haiku's aren't supposed to ryhme. Also, the theme is manipulation.
Ah thanks wolf, congratulations by the way
Strings control me
Played like a marionette
Living as a drone
Thread is locked!