Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Well, that said, heres the rules:
1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)
Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...
The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond
(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'
- 5,299 Replies
I am the devil
Look at my amount of posts
Ima burn you up
(Not real entry)
I was under the impression that the Number was actually 616, because more Hebrews used Greek at the time that Revelations was written.
The translation of Nero in Greek to roman numerals would have equaled 616, instead of from Latin, 666.
Sorry for the off-topic.
Clever one Yoda I think he deserves the devil award for that one xD
A light burning bright
In the middle of the night
Giving me a fright
Nice one Terry, I am surprised no one thought of something like that before you posted that.
Alright, here is the judging that we've all been waiting for! It wasn't easy with all of these great entries!
First off, the awards:
The "I can't win because I'm the judge and I won last round/Champion's Exhibit" Award: Ernie15
Light is very bright
Look straight at it, hurt your eyes
Get some common sense
The chances of me winning this round are so slim that...well, they're just too slim for an analogy. I couldn't even win this round with a good haiku.
The Semicolonoscopy Award: Thyll
Blinding glory; love
Light only pains me; shows my
Evil imperfection.
This was one "light" I did not see the theme in. Great interpretation!
The Shakespearean Award: Freakenstein
Saturated warmth.
The cradle of life doth spake,
"do not be afraid".
If this had been in iambic pentameter, I would've guessed it'd come straight out of Shakespeare.
The Contradiction Award: marioman327
The spectral wave comes
I see, my eyes are melting
Oblivion flies
Just out of curiosity, how can you see when your eyes are melting? o_O
The Common Sense Award: Teeheegirl123
Why is it so dark?
I am closer than you think...
Just open your eyes.
Great use of personification. I assume it's the light speaking to the audience, correct?
The Really Bright Light Award: chitown
Eyes start burning up
light creeps in from everywhere
Pure whiteness fills you.
This one was rather interesting. Not much else I can say about it. :P
The High to Low Award: FloydTC
buzzing bulbs brighten
while intangible forces
enter my dark eyes
The first line was awesome. The second line was pretty good too. The third line seemed to contradict the mood of the first line a little, which is what killed it for me.
The Shining Star Award: beastahayes
Shining above all
Deciding when the day ends
Lighting up each day
The last line seemed to repeat the second line just a little bit. A feeling of deja vu in a haiku...
The "No Merit For You" Award: TheNightmareKing
Light is so epic
Not as epic as Nightmare
Give me a merit
I take out the word "light" and it can be replaced by any other one-syllable word and the poem wouldn't change.
The Miserable Award: pHacon
Light has run from us
leaving all in misery
will it not come forth?
Again, changing the word "light" to another one-syllable word would not really change the poem all that much.
The Bored Award: Yodadude53
Oh what would we do
If we were without the light
Life would be so dull
Once again, except for the word "light", this poem would be almost the same with any other one-syllable word in its place.
The Daily Award: adios194
Introduced by dawn.
Removed from earth at dusk.
This is the cycle.
Well, it's scientific. I can tell you that much. :P
The "I ran out of English" Award: Parsat
The insubstantial
glint which carries so much weight
O Lux Aurumque
Great use of Latin. In the future, though, I prefer all of the entries I judge to be entirely in English.
The 1968 Award: dudeguy45
floods my heart and mind
makes the rainy day happy
light bulb or sun, yay!
The first two lines sound like late 60's lyrics. The last line, however, just killed the entire poem. Perhaps it was the use of the word "yay" as a syllable...
The "Kansas lost and so did you" Award: iamnotironman
Horray Kansas Lost!
I got to prove my friends wrong!
Go West Virginia!
This doesn't actually count as a real entry. I just thought I should give it a creative award name.
The Daybreak Award: EnterOrion
Silently streaking
The sky fills with sudden warmth
Light is upon us
I don't have anything bad to say about this one. Sadly, I don't really have anything to say about it. The text you're reading right now that I've typed here just now is filler.
The 4-7-4.5 Award: samy
Now the clouds break
Sun is shining through the veil
The truth revealed
It's a tossup how many syllables the last line is, but the first line is definitely too few for a haiku.
The Context Award: Armpit
My eyes awaken
As angels creep up on me
And startle my mind
If I had not known the context of this poem, I would not have liked it as much. Luckily, I know you're talking about light, and that's what makes this poem so great.
The Rhyme Award: MrAutomatic
A light burning bright
In the middle of the night
Giving me a fright
I think the rhyme scheme in this poem made it seem a bit more...jokey.
The Final Award: TerryLasVegas
I can see the light
at the end of the tunnel
I think im dying
This is a good interpretation of the theme. Not very poetic, but it's perfect for the final entry. You've got to give me credit for the punny award name that I gave you.
Now, for the placements:
5th Place - Thyll
Blinding glory; love
Light only pains me; shows my
Evil imperfection.
Very well done, but it feels like there are too many semicolons and caesuras.
4th place - EnterOrion
Silently streaking
The sky fills with sudden warmth
Light is upon us
I liked how this one sounded like an excerpt from an old medieval tale. Nice job!
3rd Place - FloydTC
buzzing bulbs brighten
while intangible forces
enter my dark eyes
I loved the first two lines, but that third line seemed like it contradicted the other two, moodwise.
2nd Place - Freakenstein
Saturated warmth.
The cradle of life doth spake,
"do not be afraid".
Very well written! Old English can sometimes get you a good placement!
1st Place - Armpit
My eyes awaken
As angels creep up on me
And startle my mind
The best use of personification here! I really enjoyed this one. I could easily visualize this, and I could even feel cool air when I read it. Great job, go contact Carlie for your prize. Don't forget to post a link to the contest!
As for the rest of y'all, happy haikuing!
The next theme is Technology, and the deadline is April 3rd.
Oh crap, I just realized I'm judging.
*facepalms self*
Lol.
I still made a haiku for fun.
'The Bored Award'. I'm so honored -_-
It was the tone of the entry. It just sounded like you were bored when you wrote it. :P
Creative use of cyanide
That line is eight syllables...and you're also the judge.
and you're also the judge.
I already made a point of that.
That line is eight syllables
Dang . . . .
I never even place in these things
This was your entry:
Oh what would we do
If we were without the light
Life would be so dull
And this is it, but I replaced the word "light" with the word "beef" to emphasize the fact that the word "light" was interchangeable in this poem with any other word.
Oh what would we do
If we were without the beef
Life would be so dull
Don't worry, because I got a lot of entries this one this round. You aren't the only one.
Thread is locked!