AGS Steam Games

Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

5299 3118150
Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

It is pretty obvious that there was romantic content in it.

GhostOfHorror
offline
GhostOfHorror
889 posts
Nomad

But if there are underage users reading it they mightn't understand it.

MagicTree
offline
MagicTree
749 posts
Nomad

Naughty or Nice?
Blazing fire, chilled ice,
Between the edge of two worlds.
Naughty? Or rather, nice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for the critiques, Palp.
In case you doubt the word fire
In case you doubt the word chilled

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

In case you doubt the word fire

Fire automatically conforms to whatever amount (1-2) fits for the participant. But your last line is 6 syllables.
Naugh(1)ty(2)? Or(3) ra(4)ther(5), nice(6)?
nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

Unintentionally, I realise my Haiku looks like male genitalia.

MagicTree
offline
MagicTree
749 posts
Nomad

Oh, I fail once more.

Naughty or Nice?
Blazing fire, chilled ice,
Between the edge of two worlds.
Naughty? Or what about nice?

New version! Thanks Palp!

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

Now it's 7. Should be 5.

MagicTree
offline
MagicTree
749 posts
Nomad

Sorry. I'm being zoned out.

Naughty or Nice?
Blazing fire, chilled ice,
Between the edge of two worlds.
Naughty? Rather, nice?

xerox
offline
xerox
715 posts
Bard

Naughty or just Nice?
There are presents for you all
Santa do not cares.

Lee_Blade
offline
Lee_Blade
97 posts
Peasant

Here is my try:

A pond is always a pond
Nobody can change a pond
Even if the pond has expand
A pond is forever a pond

nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

Needs to be 3 lines, not 4.

First line has 5 syllables, not the 7 yours has.
Third line has 5, not the 8 yours has.

Lee_Blade
offline
Lee_Blade
97 posts
Peasant

Again my second try:

Naughty or Nice?

Naughty or Nice rather be ice
Naughty or Nice are all with Christ
Naught or rather be nice
On Christmas Ice Christ will rise

nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

3 not 4 lines.

First line has more than 8 syllables.
Second has more than 7 syllables.
Third has more than 5 syllables,

A Haiku is a three line poem with a 5-7-5 format.

Lee_Blade
offline
Lee_Blade
97 posts
Peasant

My new version:

Naughty or Nice?

Nice rhyme with ice
Naughty sometimes nice
Christmas Ice ,Christ will rise

nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

First line missing a syllable.
Second missing two.
Third has one extra.

Showing 4936-4950 of 5299