ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
howlett
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howlett
2,278 posts
Nomad

Looking from mountains
Cold water hitting my face
Making me cool down

jaza_m
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jaza_m
1,356 posts
Nomad

Sunlight on water
Steam rises from the bottom
Where spotted trout hide

I hope its good

choazmachine
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choazmachine
1,044 posts
Nomad

I couldn't care less. I put very little effort and time into these.


Same.

I swam in the spring,
I glanced ahead; Waterfall.
Death from jagged rocks.



Using better synonyms may spice up your work. And I think using present tense is better than past tense:

Ex 1: "I swam" to Swimming

Swimming in the Spring

Ex 2: "I glanced" to I glance

I glance ahead; WaterFall

And since the theme is Pristine Mountain Spring, I would assume more beautiful lines, and not "Death from jagged rocks". It seems more gloomy.

Ex 3: "Death by"... to Deer jump

Deer jump jagged rocks

Final example:

Swimming in the spring,
I glance ahead; Waterfall
Deer jump jagged rocks
marioman327
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marioman327
290 posts
Nomad

"Deer jump jagged rocks" doesn't really make sense...

shayneii
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shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

Agreed. I don't think that would be the greatest conclusion for a haiku.

And I am judging this theme... and we already have a bunch of entries. Therefore I will make the deadline Saturday, 12:00 PM PST

marioman327
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marioman327
290 posts
Nomad

Does the winner get anything? Like a merit or something?

hypoxia
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hypoxia
589 posts
Nomad

Of the purest blue
Glacial Water - cool to touch
Unfathomable

Feel free to comment on mine :P All help is aprreciated

goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

Is the bear brown?

Hairy brown bear
Your hair is brown, I think so
Is it really brown?

Owen135731
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Owen135731
2,128 posts
Peasant

Hairy brown bear
Your hair is brown, I think so
Is it really brown?


Your first line is 4 syllables
goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

Your first line is 4 syllables


The absence of a syllable via the categorical imperative exist ontologically only in the imagination, cause the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics. That means you think that the syllables are 4, but are not, so the conclusion is that I am correct.

Owen135731
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Owen135731
2,128 posts
Peasant

The absence of a syllable via the categorical imperative exist ontologically only in the imagination, cause the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics. That means you think that the syllables are 4, but are not, so the conclusion is that I am correct.


Your argument is invalid.
goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

Your argument is invalid.

Yes my argument is inritus irritus, but I hoped you would not question it.
marioman327
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marioman327
290 posts
Nomad

Theme isn't bear anyway, it's pristine mountain spring

goumas13
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goumas13
4,752 posts
Grand Duke

Theme isn't bear anyway, it's pristine mountain spring

I know but I always do what it's written as theme.
Bronze
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Bronze
2,417 posts
Shepherd

The mountain heaves forth
a cleansing stream of water
Life for you, renewed.

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