ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

5299 3124921
Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
Lee_Blade
offline
Lee_Blade
97 posts
Peasant

Be good then you're good
Be bad then you will be bad
Good or bad?choose one

killersup10
offline
killersup10
2,739 posts
Blacksmith

To many friggen wolves on one page, too confused!

Who is judging?

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

Who is judging?

Me. The current round ends in 25.3hrs, so get 'em in. Murasaki gets the next round.
Lee_Blade
offline
Lee_Blade
97 posts
Peasant

Be good,Christ loves you
Be bad,devils will get you
Good or bad?choose one

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

@Lee_Blade
Please confirm which one is your final entry before the round ends.

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

Well, now that the round's over, I'll count that last entry as your final submission, unless you state otherwise before I'm done judging, which should be Friday.

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

I'll probably get it done before Friday because there are only 10 entries this round (unless I missed someone's). Murasaki controls the next round, so I suppose she could give the new theme early in case some of you want to draft your poems (but don't post them until the next round officially starts).

In the meantime, make sure I've got everyone's:

--------------------
pangtongshu

Blood dries on his knife
We curse, despite our hunger
As he hands us bread


--------------------
marton96

Though I am not nice
Cheer and spice and happy things
Always make me smile


--------------------
nichodemus

She teases in red,
Giggles with faux innocence,
Tugging at my tie.


--------------------
MagicTree

Blazing fire, chilled ice,
Between the edge of two worlds.
Naughty? Rather, nice?


--------------------
xerox

Naughty or just Nice?
There are presents for you all
Santa do not cares.


--------------------
killersup10 (CAN'T WIN THIS ROUND!)

A bloody soaked shirt
Small armies terrorize them
The fat man in charge


--------------------
xXxDAPRO89xXx

You naughty or nice?
Better make up your mind soon!
Or coal you shall get!


--------------------
Maverick4

Friend, what have you done?
Innocent blood you have spilled,
To placate the crowd.


--------------------
Arceus12

Good, good or bad, bad,
If you're good nobody cares,
But cops will get you.


--------------------
Lee_Blade

Be good,Christ loves you
Be bad,devils will get you
Good or bad?choose one


--------------------

pain111
offline
pain111
16 posts
Constable

i know very good what the word ,,Haiku ,, is by the way 幸ãã¨å...æ°-ã«ããªãã«ãã¹ã¦ã®ç-ã¿ãæ¬å½"ã«èå'³æ·±ããã©ã¼ã©ã ãã"ãªã«å-ã³ã'維æã-ãã...

killersup10
offline
killersup10
2,739 posts
Blacksmith

Killersup never got his bucket of oranges as his prize from last week....


Take your time Emp.

murasaki9
offline
murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Well, it seems I a little late posting the NEW theme. So, here it is:

Restoration

But like Emperor said, don't post your poems until the new round starts: OFFICIALLY, in other words, wait until you see the results of this round and you see me post the due date for the ensuing round.

xerox
offline
xerox
715 posts
Bard

Restoration? Hmmm i should think on that. I keep on failing in making haiku so this time im gonna make few of them and combine the best parts for more dramatic results.

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

Hopefully, copying from Notepad will work...

--------------------
pangtongshu

Blood dries on his knife
We curse, despite our hunger
As he hands us bread

Ah, the kind executioner. A tasteful twist on the theme. I like the overall imagery. It's difficult to paint a picture in so few words, but you did.

--------------------
marton96

Though I am not nice
Cheer and spice and happy things
Always make me smile

The alliteration was good (Make Me sMile). I like the uplifting simplicity of this one. There are plenty of 2 syllable words that could've filled the space for 'not nice', but 'not nice' seems to be the most fitting.

--------------------
nichodemus

She teases in red,
Giggles with faux innocence,
Tugging at my tie.

Woah now. Well, my internet security was blocking the thread for porn due to 'naughty' in the title anyway, so whatever.
This has a great flow due to the alliteration (shE tEases; fAUX innOcence).

--------------------
MagicTree

Blazing fire, chilled ice,
Between the edge of two worlds.
Naughty? Rather, nice?

The sharp contrast really illustrates the theme. It depicts the Yin-Yang balance of our choices. Very nice.

--------------------
xerox

Naughty or just Nice?
There are presents for you all
Santa do not cares.

*does not care
Other than that, it reminds us that this is a time of generosity for everyone to enjoy. And that reminds me of this.

--------------------
killersup10 (CAN'T WIN THIS ROUND!)

A bloody soaked shirt
Small armies terrorize them
The fat man in charge

Who is "them"? "Bloody soaked" doesn't make sense. "Blood soaked" is the usual expression, but the syllable count would be off.
Anyway, I see that you went for the Naughty side. This reminds me of Stalin and his Secret Police. Very naughty, indeed.

--------------------
xXxDAPRO89xXx

You naughty or nice?
Better make up your mind soon!
Or coal you shall get!

I don't know how one could recite this without using an east-coast mobster accent. It would've been far better if the adverse consequence was abstractly implied instead of directly stated.

--------------------
Maverick4

Friend, what have you done?
Innocent blood you have spilled,
To placate the crowd.

I can't help but be reminded of Mark 15.

--------------------
Arceus12

Good, good or bad, bad,
If you're good nobody cares,
But cops will get you.

This feels incomplete, as though it needs another line to convey the meaning of the last line. I understand that you meant "but if you commit a crime, cops will get you", but it's much better if the full message is in the poem itself. Condensing a full idea to 17 words or less is a challenge. Rise to it.
Anyway, I like that it shows the one-sidedness of society doing too little to exemplify good behavior, and instead focusing on the negative. A good idea, but unfinished.

--------------------
Lee_Blade

Be good,Christ loves you
Be bad,devils will get you
Good or bad?choose one

A very blunt, black-and-white interpretation. I would've preferred a Paradise Lost twist instead.

--------------------
And the winner is...

(extremely long dramatic pause)

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*


Maverick4

This was the sort of interpretation I was hoping for: Something that, to some, was considered good, but to others, bad; it exemplified a pitfall of the Principle of Utility with elegance. Well done.

--------------------

Maverick4's poem will be proudly displayed in the about of the account HaikuContestWinners, at least until an official archive is made.

--------------------

The next theme, as chosen by murasaki9, is: Restoration. She will be judging and will give the due date soon. Have fun, everyone!

nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

My Thanksgivings winner is still not on the page.

Thanks for judging again~.

EmperorPalpatine
offline
EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

My Thanksgivings winner is still not on the page.

Fix'd (or at least it should be).

Thanks for judging again~.

Anytime.

Oh, and
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT THINGY!!!
For me, school starts in a little over 2 weeks. It shouldn't be much trouble because these don't take very long (at least when there are few entries), but I'll be searching for another co-judge again. If you are interested in the position and you'll have the time and can show that you have a decent understanding of poetry and can interpret deeper meanings in it, please massage me, and also send me a message.
nichodemus
offline
nichodemus
14,991 posts
Grand Duke

I will not massage you, but I can take a couple of rounds before my army service starts in February.

Showing 4966-4980 of 5299