ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

I honesly haven't a clue as to what you're referencing, so I'll have to find it. Whats is it about?

It's a book about a young japanese poet trying to find ''color'' for his work. He's skilled but all he ever talks about is the snow, so the masters say that his work is good, but too ''white''. At some point in the story he ventures into the japanese alps and discover the body of a beautiful woman encased in a prison of ice. The way you wrote your haiku reminded me much of this particular scene.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

Really? I don't like the wording as much. One of my pet peeves is words from the next line being where (in my opinion) they don't belong; But
what am I to say? I'm not an experienced poet.


As I said, don't take my word too seriously; this is only my personnal opinion, and surely it is not shared among all the other judges.

Paarfam
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Paarfam
1,558 posts
Nomad

Daydreaming you aren't
Deoxygenist I am
Breathe? Never, we won't

StormDragon
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StormDragon
4,584 posts
Peasant

O2 is needed
for life just like H2O
and we pollute both

Ghgt99
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Ghgt99
1,890 posts
Nomad

and the last line will be counted as having only four syllables.


Fire. Darn. =(
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Haiku

On top of the world,
Light-headed euphoria.
Crystal are the skies.

invisibleninjagirl
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invisibleninjagirl
29 posts
Nomad

Human's gift to share
Taken greedily by all
Life, who owes it all.

waluigi
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waluigi
1,946 posts
Shepherd

Its been a while since I've written a haiku. hopefully this is good.

God of Gases

Life abounds e'verywhere
fueled by the plants' creation
the god of gases

Is it okay if I cut out the "v" in everywhere to drop it down to a two syllable word?

CommanderDude7
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CommanderDude7
4,689 posts
Nomad

Oxygen tv
A reality network
Mostly for women

master565
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master565
4,104 posts
Nomad

I got to say, great job on the judging.

Heres my haiku, its pretty bad

The breeze in the fall
It carries the air we breathe
and it is our life

Endscape
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Endscape
1,182 posts
Nomad

CHILDREN TO AVOID SERIOUS EMOTIONAL TRAUMA STAY AWAYYYYY FROM THE OXYGEN CHANNEL...... watever u do, stay away from it...

KingLemon
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KingLemon
600 posts
Nomad

Oxygen? what an interesting theme choice fallen haha

A small spark of life
A burst of green, blue, and white
Burning the world

-might edit this later.

oh and Gratz Ernie

Paarfam
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Paarfam
1,558 posts
Nomad

CHILDREN TO AVOID SERIOUS EMOTIONAL TRAUMA STAY AWAYYYYY FROM THE OXYGEN CHANNEL...... watever u do, stay away from it...

Me and my mom watched it a few times right when it came out/when we got it. I was about 8 at the time. Big mistake.
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
1,344 posts
Nomad

Is it okay if I cut out the "v" in everywhere to drop it down to a two syllable word?


Well, no. All of the three syllables in the word are important, and what do you mean by dropping the 'v'? I'm not quite sure of what you mean.
waluigi
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waluigi
1,946 posts
Shepherd

Fine *grumble*

God of Gases

world is filled with life
fueled by the plants' creation
the god of gases

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