Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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Hellllllllo my pretties, I am here for judging AGAIN.... on a record 2-streak.
So the theme was Quiet night on the town.
Described any town in North Dakota Award
Night fall bestows us.
Silence eats of all the sounds.
The forgotten town.
~Darktroop07
I like it, good vocab with "bestow" and such. You added grammar to yours which never hurts. You give the sense of the town being lonely and forlorn. Good Haiku.
Them Gosh Darn Kids Award
Nothing can be heard
For nobody will listen
Paradise for us.
~CheapCheep
This is how I feel at night in my town. I love the feeling, and I like your second line especially. Everything checks out. Good job.
"killersup? Oh, We've Got Quite A File On Him..." Award
Bloody walkways
Carcasses pile on corners
Quiet nights in town
~killersup10
Oh, killersup. Don't worry, I've gone to the counsler's before too. Mostly on bull**** accounts but on a few "disturbing" papers I wrote. But now, instead of going to the counselor, I want you to go to the math department, seeing as your first line is 4 syllables and your second is 8. Don't kill me.
And Not a creature was stirring... Award
Clamor lulled to sleep
From the darkness of the town
Silence awakens
~IC4I
You capture the process of the town being quiet. I like it. Nice first line vocab. "Lulled" as if it is gradual. Good haiku.
Screw the First Amendment Award
Sliding door to door
Hooded monsters with black bags
They sew our lips shut
~aknerd
Well that's one way to get a town quiet. You always have a homicidal twist on your haikus. I like it. Good enough haiku.
King For The Night Award
The city slumbers
I roam the city alone
I'm in control now
~salvidian
Very good. This is how I feel when My friend and I roam the city at night. in control. The boss. Roaming is a fitting word too.
You Have No Friends Award
It's dark and lonely
My legs tremble with dismay
I long for comfort.
~lozerfac3
Now you take the spin on being alone in the town is bad, nothing wrong with that.Good vocab in the second line, and nice ending line. Good.
Your Body Hates You Award
A Cuban cigar
Some Grey Goose and some brandy
This is quite a life
~EnterOrion
Oh Orion, you do enjoy the finer things in life. You did cater your haiku to be to my typo, quite night on the town, so I can't really penalize you... but there's nothing about a town soooooooooooo.... satisfactory haiku.
Lol Such A Rebel/Oblivious To Theme Award
Discombobulate
These words are arbitrary
Sup tonyallen
~rayofflight3
The title says it all.
Who needs porn when you have Haikus by Nich Award
Her hushed gasping breath,
Our sweat soaked sheets oozes love,
Whilst the stars twinkle.
~Nich
winky face means there is sexual content. How juicy. Well I do get the impression of quiet from "hushed", I don;t necessarily get the town part... unless you are making sweet love on the sidewalk or park bench... in which case...
No Drugs Needed Award
Roaming through the town,
blissful experiences.
Trapped in a dream haze.
~GhostOfMatrix
Near perfect, capturing the Essence of what I was imagining- roaming, dream, bliss. Grrrrrrrrrrrreat job Ghost. You may find a pleasant surprise if you scroll down.
This City Sucks Award
"Silence is calming"
I'm told, but the still strikes of
Dull monotony.
~Tacky
I like whoever uses quotations in a haiku, as it's not that common. You take the turn of the night is boring, and tedious. nice word choice. Good.
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And the winner is... Ghost! Superb haiku. I really wish I could award you a merit for that work, but all I have are some turnips.
Hopefully my lazy co-judge will step up next week, so before I forget...
Your Secret Place
Deadline is the 29th.
HAPPY HAIKU'ING