ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

5299 3126954
Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
shayneii
offline
shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

@maverick4: You contacted heard from any other mods about the merit thing? lol

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

@ shayneii: No, but Zoph said she would look into it I think.

No More Entrys. Judging Now.

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Bronze Award: Moabarmorgamer (Moat)

The water ripples
The stone skips across the pond
The frogs leap away


This one is written really quite well, and It reminds me alot of a pond. Though in my opinion, it would have been best it you had tied the lines together. Instead of each line being about a differnt thing, try and make them have something a bit more in common. Okay, I could have worded that better.

*hides*

Iron Award: Poison Arrow

Silent reflections
Distorting, shifting, changing
Scratching the surface


This is really good also. Though it reminds me of a grey, cloudy misty sorta of day, where you sit and watch something for hours, it still talks of a pond. Good job to you too also.

Silver Award: shayneii

Splish, a fish jumps... joy
Bursting, colourful delight
The sound goes, "Gah-ploonk".


This one is alot like some classic haikus from feudal Japan, if you ever bother to look at them. It really reminds me of a pond. Exelente

Gold Award (and also first place): Alt

Ripples Ricochet
round stone changing destinies
An era of thoughts

I have to say, it was reall close between you and shayneii. You both had great haikus; shayneii's resembling a more classic haiku, while yours reflected deeper into the thoughts. So yours won. I would go say get your merit, but, I cant. Oh well, atleast you have a warm fuzzy feeling in you, right?
---
And now for those that the above awards cant describe:

1337 Award: GuitarHeroFTW

i liek pondz they iz
very coulourful and they
are made of water


7331!!!!!1!!

Scare-the-something-out-of-me Award: Bronze

The water is still
But I know you sleep under
Ever watching me

Jamie? Theres something in the water...

*gets pulled under*

Something straight out of a horror movie m8...

The 'I could care less' Award: Zega

The pond is a pond.
No ordinary old pond.
It is just a pond

If you dont want to be here, why dont you just leave? Whats so special about the pond that you feel a need to write about it? Hmmm?

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Hmmmm... Oh yes, the next deadline is Wednsday, Septemer 9th, and the theme will be The Fruit Tree. (orchard, or a lone tree, have at it)

Pois0nArr0w
offline
Pois0nArr0w
2,053 posts
Nomad

Hollowing alone,
An ancient oak stands erect,
Holding dark secrets.

Yes.

shayneii
offline
shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

Haha... good job alt... I can't believe I got 2nd! :P

shayneii
offline
shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

Hey, posted the next contest on the Announcement Board in the Tavern. (if anyone cares... :P )

Bronze
offline
Bronze
2,417 posts
Shepherd

Hmm I didn't even get an award that was named after me xD
Let me tell you what I got out of mine: A dead person laying in the bottom of a pond with their eyes wide open.
Anyway, here is my kind of sad fruit tree haiku.


Lonely tree swaying
Fruit to give but none to take
Waiting for someone

@poison, I guess you went with the fruit of knowledge instead of an actual fruit tree.

Pois0nArr0w
offline
Pois0nArr0w
2,053 posts
Nomad

I guess I did. But, if needed, revisions.

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

@ Poison:

I can see where your going with it; the 'dark secrets' being the fruit of knowledge. Its good, kudos to you for following the topic with out mentioning fruit.

sourwhatup2
offline
sourwhatup2
3,660 posts
Jester

Danger lurks inside it
It stands out from the rest
It causes death

--If it's more syllables then it should be sorry xD If so tell me to do another--

sourwhatup2
offline
sourwhatup2
3,660 posts
Jester

Lol wow I fail with Syllables.. Lol


Let me fix it.

Danger Lurks Inside
It will Stand out from the Rest
It will cause you death

--Ah there we go I think that's good.--

shayneii
offline
shayneii
2,492 posts
Peasant

Danger lurks inside it = 6 syllables (should be 5)
It stands out from the rest = 6 (should be 7)
It causes death = 4 (should be 5)

sourwhatup2
offline
sourwhatup2
3,660 posts
Jester

I think I fixed it now though xD

Maverick4
offline
Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

@ sourwhatup:

Poison apple right? Just to makesure, its 'A Fruit Tree'. I would try and signify the whole 'Fruit' thing.

Showing 46-60 of 5299