Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4

6,804 posts

Peasant

Posted August 24, '09 12:48am UTC

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

5,299 Replies

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murasaki9

1,390 posts

Blacksmith

Posted January 15, '13 2:41pm UTC

These are the submissions. Make sure yours looks correct before I start.

AND - pangtongshu isn't judging this round, I am. Nicho asked me to do it for him, so...yeah...XD.

AND - Lee_Blade is disqualified, BUT, only for this round. I'll have the results in by tonight. Good luck guys!

francisjannponce
magic is a bluff
magic is really stupid
believe it or not

Arceus12
Today magician,
Later boring old person,
Magic never lasts.

xxBoogeymaNxx
Magical being
Transformed into an adult
Now has no powers

sourwhatup2
Magic can't be seen
It is merely envisaged
Young ones can feel it

HahiHa
The Pyromancer

Mad grey eyes gleam red,
Arcane flames lick at the stones;

acmed
A wave of a hand,
Do we dare to know the truth?
Of haunting sweet dreams.

Ernie15
A flash, and I've gone.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Abracadabra.

pangtongshu
For funsies

Simple sciences,
Holding everlasting lies,
Which fill hearts with joy.

Peter20
From the hands of men,
the enchantments leap forward,
the world is their clay.

killersup10
Mystical danger
Flying pigs, and eating knives
Such pure amazment

These are the submissions. Make sure yours looks correct before I start.\r\n\r\nAND - pangtongshu isn't judging this round, I am. Nicho asked me to do it for him, so...yeah...XD.\r\n\r\nAND - Lee_Blade is disqualified, BUT, only for this round. I'll have the results in by tonight. Good luck guys!\r\n\r\nfrancisjannponce\r\nmagic is a bluff\r\nmagic is really stupid\r\nbelieve it or not\r\n\r\nArceus12\r\nToday magician,\r\nLater boring old person,\r\nMagic never lasts.\r\n\r\nxxBoogeymaNxx\r\nMagical being\r\nTransformed into an adult\r\nNow has no powers\r\n\r\nsourwhatup2\r\nMagic can't be seen\r\nIt is merely envisaged\r\nYoung ones can feel it\r\n\r\nHahiHa\r\nThe Pyromancer\r\n\r\nMad grey eyes gleam red,\r\nArcane flames lick at the stones;\r\n\r\nacmed\r\nA wave of a hand,\r\nDo we dare to know the truth?\r\nOf haunting sweet dreams.\r\n\r\nErnie15\r\nA flash, and I've gone.\r\nNow you see me, now you don't.\r\nAbracadabra.\r\n\r\npangtongshu\r\nFor funsies\r\n\r\nSimple sciences,\r\nHolding everlasting lies,\r\nWhich fill hearts with joy.\r\n\r\nPeter20\r\nFrom the hands of men,\r\nthe enchantments leap forward,\r\nthe world is their clay.\r\n\r\nkillersup10\r\nMystical danger\r\nFlying pigs, and eating knives\r\nSuch pure amazment

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murasaki9

1,390 posts

Blacksmith

Posted January 15, '13 2:44pm UTC

Ohhh...ignore Pang's haiku. In the heat of the moment, I forgot that he didn't submit it for the contest.

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EmperorPalpatine

9,447 posts

Jester

Posted January 15, '13 4:06pm UTC

Well, you can still judge it, but he can't win because he's part of the judging lineup.

It looks like Hahiha's was cut off

Mad grey eyes gleam red,
Arcane flames lick at the stones;
The town is ablaze.

Other than that, the list looks good.

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murasaki9

1,390 posts

Blacksmith

Posted January 15, '13 7:51pm UTC

Oh...

It looks like Hahiha's was cut off

Mad grey eyes gleam red,
Arcane flames lick at the stones;
The town is ablaze.

Yep...sorry, Hahiha!

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murasaki9

1,390 posts

Blacksmith

Posted January 16, '13 1:49am UTC

Here are the results.

____________________________________________________________

francisjannponce
magic is a bluff
magic is really stupid
believe it or not

Very bluntly opinionated. As much as I may or may not value your opinion there is nothing special about this haiku. Not only is the language colloquial it is somewhat condescending. It has a flow to it that accompanies much of today's speech making it easy to read. Good work realizing that it takes all kinds to create art.

Arceus12
Today magician,
Later boring old person,
Magic never lasts.

A clever allusion to people who claim to be wizards and to the kind of magic that many of us are familiar with: TV magic. It usually wears off or can be undone in some way. The time contrast is very good, the punctuation is perfect and the last sentence sums up the purpose of the haiku neatly. Good work.

xxBoogeymaNxx
Magical being
Transformed into an adult
Now has no powers

This one is confusing. There is a lack of punctuation and the construction is what adds to the confusion. This 'magical being' which has been transformed into an adult seems to have no powers. But then, it's no longer a magical being. Anyway, despite that this haiku makes no sense to me, I'm sure others can appreciate its poetic merits. Good work.

sourwhatup2
Magic can't be seen
It is merely envisaged
Young ones can feel it

Ghosts are magical, I guess. XD. Now, there's one small issue with this. Magic can't be seen, fair enough. It is only present in people's mental pictures or thought of as a possibility. Not fair enough. If young ones can feel it then it must be real, unless you mean to say that young ones are silly. Or, perhaps you mean to say that magic only exists in the young people world. I want to go with that, because that's a very adroit way of saying what francisjannponce said but in a more sophisticated, mature way. Great work!

HahiHa
The Pyromancer

Mad grey eyes gleam red,
Arcane flames lick at the stones;
The town is ablaze.

I love the first line! Alliteration, assonance, and consonance all at once! Mad grey eyes gleam red...how poetic, really! Perfect punctuation, just like before. You seem to believe in magic and this a pretty ode to the stuff. Wonderful usage of words: arcane, flames, ablaze. Good work.

acmed
A wave of a hand,
Do we dare to know the truth?
Of haunting sweet dreams.

Magicians tell us the truth of dreams? What an ingenious idea! However, I'd like to point out that waving hands don't always indicate magic. The magic of your haiku is somewhat distant but the allusion though subtle is an appreciated affect.

Ernie15
A flash, and I've gone.
Now you see me, now you don't
Abracadabra.

Someone has to stay true to old magic and keep it alive. Good job doing that! What happened to abracadabra magic? It's the magic word, I tell you. As always, perfect punctuation. Good work. Just thinking about your haiku makes me scared because when you really get down to it and think what it means to be gone in a flash, you realize how thankful you are that people can't do that. The world would be chaos. Right, so it already is, but we don't need instant teleportation in the mix. Great work, Ernie, this one is a real thinker maker.

Peter20
From the hands of men,
the enchantments leap forward,
the world is their clay.

Wow, can it get any better? First few submissions look like magic skeptics or even magicians-in-denial. Now, I get here and voila! I encounter a very neat little haiku, the best so far in the realm of magic skeptics. This one seems to suggest that magic is everywhere and that the real magicians are people, everyone. That too is a scary consideration. Good choice of words, punctuation and construction. 'From...of men...enchantments' is very poetic. Good job.

killersup10
Mystical danger
Flying pigs, and eating knives
Such pure amazment

First of all, 'amazment' is a bit lame. No, not lame in a 'it's been done before' kind of way. Lame in a 'that guy is missing a leg' kind of way. Secondly, pigs don't fly and even if they did or could magic wouldn't be the culprit, it would most likely be someone's over enhanced imagination. Thirdly, 'eating knives' seems kind of a cliffhanger. Who's eating knives?! Or, what are the knives eating?! Come on! I want to know! Okay, in all seriousness, this is one of the more innocent haikus making an ode to magic. Nothing evil here, or dark, or particularly dangerous. Good job with the avant-garde style that suits you so well.

____________________________________________________________

And now... the winner of this rounds contest is...
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Hahiha - congrats. Your haiku was the best by far. Your use of words was not only poetic and masterful, it reflected your writing ability, making you stand out from all the others. Yes, there was much seriousness to be found within your submission. Good job!

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Thank you for participating.

Here are the results.\r\n\r\n____________________________________________________________\r\n\r\n[b]francisjannponce[/b]\r\n[i]magic is a bluff\r\nmagic is really stupid\r\nbelieve it or not[/i]\r\n\r\nVery bluntly opinionated. As much as I may or may not value your opinion there is nothing special about this haiku. Not only is the language colloquial it is somewhat condescending. It has a flow to it that accompanies much of today's speech making it easy to read.  Good work realizing that it takes all kinds to create art. \r\n\r\n[b]Arceus12[/b]\r\nToday magician, \r\nLater boring old person, \r\nMagic never lasts. \r\n\r\n A clever allusion to people who claim to be wizards and to the kind of magic that many of us are familiar with: TV magic. It usually wears off or can be undone in some way. The time contrast is very good, the punctuation is perfect and the last sentence sums up the purpose of the haiku neatly. Good work.\r\n\r\n[b]xxBoogeymaNxx[/b]\r\n[i]Magical being \r\nTransformed into an adult \r\nNow has no powers [/i]\r\n\r\n This one is confusing. There is a lack of punctuation and the construction is what adds to the confusion. This 'magical being' which has been transformed into an adult seems to have no powers. But then, it's no longer a magical being. Anyway, despite that this haiku makes no sense to me, I'm sure others can appreciate its poetic merits. Good work.\r\n\r\n[b]sourwhatup2[/b] \r\n[i]Magic can't be seen \r\nIt is merely envisaged \r\nYoung ones can feel it [/i]\r\n\r\n Ghosts are magical, I guess. XD. Now, there's one small issue with this. Magic can't be seen, fair enough. It is only present in people's mental pictures or thought of as a possibility. Not fair enough. If young ones can feel it then it must be real, unless you mean to say that young ones are silly. Or, perhaps you mean to say that magic only exists in the young people world. I want to go with that, because that's a very adroit way of saying what francisjannponce said but in a more sophisticated, mature way. Great work!\r\n\r\n[b]HahiHa[/b]\r\n[i]The Pyromancer[/i]\r\n\r\n[i]Mad grey eyes gleam red, \r\nArcane flames lick at the stones; \r\nThe town is ablaze. [/i]\r\n\r\n  I love the first line! Alliteration, assonance, and consonance all at once! Mad grey eyes gleam red...how poetic, really! Perfect punctuation, just like before. You seem to believe in magic and this a pretty ode to the stuff. Wonderful usage of words: arcane, flames, ablaze. Good work.\r\n\r\n[b]acmed[/b]\r\n[i]A wave of a hand, \r\nDo we dare to know the truth? \r\nOf haunting sweet dreams. [/i]\r\n\r\n Magicians tell us the truth of dreams? What an ingenious idea! However, I'd like to point out that waving hands don't always indicate magic. The magic of your haiku is somewhat distant but the allusion though subtle is an appreciated affect.\r\n\r\n[b]Ernie15[/b]\r\n[i]A flash, and I've gone. \r\nNow you see me, now you don't\r\nAbracadabra. [/i]\r\n\r\n Someone has to stay true to old magic and keep it alive. Good job doing that! What happened to abracadabra magic? It's the magic word, I tell you. As always, perfect punctuation. Good work. Just thinking about your haiku makes me scared because when you really get down to it and think what it means to be gone in a flash, you realize how thankful you are that people can't do that. The world would be chaos. Right, so it already is, but we don't need instant teleportation in the mix. Great work, Ernie, this one is a real thinker maker.\r\n\r\n[b]Peter20[/b]\r\n[i]From the hands of men, \r\nthe enchantments leap forward, \r\nthe world is their clay. [/i]\r\n\r\n Wow, can it get any better? First few submissions look like magic skeptics or even magicians-in-denial. Now, I get here and voila! I encounter a very neat little haiku, the best so far in the realm of magic skeptics. This one seems to suggest that magic is everywhere and that the real magicians are people, everyone. That too is a scary consideration. Good choice of words, punctuation and construction. 'From...of men...enchantments' is very poetic. Good job.\r\n\r\n[b]killersup10[/b]\r\n[i]Mystical danger \r\nFlying pigs, and eating knives \r\nSuch pure amazment [/i]\r\n\r\n First of all, 'amazment' is a bit lame. No, not lame in a 'it's been done before' kind of way. Lame in a 'that guy is missing a leg' kind of way. Secondly, pigs don't fly and even if they did or could magic wouldn't be the culprit, it would most likely be someone's over enhanced imagination. Thirdly, 'eating knives' seems kind of a cliffhanger. Who's eating knives?! Or, what are the knives eating?! Come on! I want to know! Okay, in all seriousness, this is one of the more innocent haikus making an ode to magic. Nothing evil here, or dark, or particularly dangerous. Good job with the avant-garde style that suits you so well.\r\n\r\n____________________________________________________________\r\n\r\nAnd now... the winner of this rounds contest is...\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\n-\r\nHahiha - congrats. Your haiku was the best by far. Your use of words was not only poetic and masterful, it reflected your writing ability, making you stand out from all the others. Yes, there was much seriousness to be found within your submission. Good job!\r\n\r\n------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\r\n\r\nThank you for participating.

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EmperorPalpatine

9,447 posts

Jester

Posted January 16, '13 3:07am UTC

To hopefully clear a bit of the confusion, for xxBoogeymaNxx's, I'm pretty sure it was a statement of how childhood seemed magical, similar to sourwhatup2's. Acmed's was more about a mentalist/seer than an illusionist.

Anyway, pang chooses/gives/judges the new theme, asks a mod to change the title/date, etc. So now we wait.

HahiHa's poem will be proudly displayed in the About of HaikuContestWinners.