ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

The due date seems to have passed a long time ago, but I cannot resist:

When right side gut pain,
Becomes rebound tenderness,
Ruptured appendix!

:P

EnterOrion
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EnterOrion
4,220 posts
Nomad

The due date seems to have passed a long time ago, but I cannot resist:


I had accidentally posted the wrong due date.

It's due tomorrow, the 24th.
waluigi
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waluigi
1,946 posts
Shepherd

Which means the judging will come no later than May 31.

Pazx
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Pazx
5,845 posts
Peasant

Gracing her body
A beautiful desire
****. I think it broke.

For the lulz?

Kyouzou
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Kyouzou
5,061 posts
Jester

There are 24 pharmacies for a reason...

Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,344 posts
Bard

Entries are now officially closed. Judging is commencing as you are reading this.

Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,344 posts
Bard

Ready for a long and somewhat detailed judging? Well, whoomp! There it is:

I'll start out with the custom awards. They don't mean anything, but at least everyone can say they got a mention.

The Interruption Award - Waluigi

boiling over, em-
otion destroys self-control,
Anger now free


This poem would have had a much nicer flow to it had the word "emotion" been kept on one line. And the last line only has four syllables.

The Pure Evil Award - Wolf1991

Gyser of justice,
Awaiting its time to gush
Drowning those in wait.


I like the dark tone in this poem. Not really dangerous, but more eeeeeeeevil.

The Disaster Award - KingLemon

The seismic tremors
A weak point in the crater.
Ash, Fire, Screams, Death.


I can picture a disaster movie being made from this poem. Great job with the imagery!

The "Please Read the Title and the Syllable Count Correctly" Award - Stormwolf722

The Pond's cold water stills.
As the silent hills whisper.
To you my heart is gone, and the last words linger through time


In the future, read the theme and page given in the title rather than just the first page. Where you got the idea for a 5-7-14 haiku is beyond me.

The Political Award - GhostOfMatrix

Disruption of life,
Quarrel within a nation,
Rift in relations.


I liked your take on this theme, and I would have liked this poem better had the second line and the last line not rhymed.

The Comedic Solution Award - dudeguy45

A simple leak sprouts
I need more than gum to mend
Too late, the dam failed


I feel like I've seen someone trying to mend a ruptured dam with gum in some cartoon, but I just can't place it. This entry also had great imagery.

The "It's OUR Fault??" Award - TackyCrazyTNT

A dramatic tear,
A rip that shakes the Earth's bones.
How we have let go.


It sounds like this poem is blaming the humans for the earthquake! I think it would have had a nicer flow to it had you not used "a" at the beginning of two lines.

The Life and Death Award - Kyouzou

That pulsing rhythm
The definition of life
A puncture is death


I don't know exactly what it is, but something about putting "life" at the end of one line and "death" at the end of the next seems to rupture the subtlety of this poem.

The "One More Syllable" Award - Endscape

flow goes undisturbed
black pit that erases all
wormhole through time space


That last line seems a little crunched. Maybe a comma would have helped, or the word "and" if the syllable count would allow it. The first line also seems a tad bit unrelated to the other two lines.

The "Only a Doctor" Award - Strop

When right side gut pain,
Becomes rebound tenderness,
Ruptured appendix!


Only a doctor would think of this when given the given theme. I like how the medical terminology fit the syllable count so well.

The "I've Passed Out From All The Possibilities" Award - Pazx

Gracing her body
A beautiful desire
****. I think it broke.


Dare I even ask what broke?

Now for the placement awards.

3rd Place - Wolf1991

Gyser of justice,
Awaiting its time to gush
Drowning those in wait.


Like I've said before, I admire the dark tone in this poem. It wasn't my favorite entry, but it certainly deserved a fine spot in the placement awards.

2nd Place - dudeguy45

A simple leak sprouts
I need more than gum to mend
Too late, the dam failed


This poem had some great imagery in it, and it had a very cartoonish feel to it. I didn't think it was a serious entry at first, but after reading it a few times, I realized how much I liked it.

1st Place - KingLemon

The seismic tremors
A weak point in the crater.
Ash, Fire, Screams, Death.


The imagery in this poem was magnificent. Made me feel like I was watching a disaster movie. Although it's only three lines, it gives the reader a lot of sound imagery as well as visual imagery. Awesome job with this poem! Go receive that merit.

Next Theme: The Jungle
Deadline: May 3

Happy Haiku'ing!

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,595 posts
Herald

Ready for a long and somewhat detailed judging?

I love you - because you judged the day after the deadline.

I'll try to think of something for this theme, as always.
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

This is a merit competition? O.o
I did not know that.

idontsuckthatmuch
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idontsuckthatmuch
2,261 posts
Nomad

This is a merit competition? O.o
I did not know that.


TryHard Mode = ON

Anyway, here's my entry:

Jungle awakens,
The calls of activity,
The buzzing jungle.

:/ Not too great.
Endscape
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Endscape
1,182 posts
Nomad

BEAST i have never
known, FEAR i have never felt
....such beauty unknown.

CommanderDude7
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CommanderDude7
4,689 posts
Nomad

Racing through the woods
The predator on my tail
Its breath on my heels

KingLemon
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KingLemon
600 posts
Nomad

wow i won? ! I had actually forgotten about this I just noticed it became stickied! NICE
And to think i was going to change it to something about pimples! Just never developed a final draft of that haiku!

"The Jungle" makes me think of CoD: Black Ops haha
Good luck this week peeps

LivingToDie
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LivingToDie
303 posts
Nomad

I'll try think of something within the next few days.
Even though there's a lot you can do with a jungle, I'm lost for ideas.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,595 posts
Herald

Oh, I forgot to say - congratulations to you, KingLemon!

The weekend's coming up soon, so I'll be able to think of something then, when I don't have so much schoolwork to do. :P

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