It's been such a long time folks. I haven't judged in FOREVER! Anyways, lots of good haikus. Let's get started.
Acmed
My face's reflection,
On the lily pond of hope,
I stand alone, still.
I like the serenity of this. I have done the same, standing idly at a pond just thinking, staring. Somehow the pond makes you happy. Your haiku is very calming.
Endscape
Without direction,
Subject to all but yourself,
Mourn, for the pond's slave.
This haiku kind of confuses me. Are you referring to yourself as the pond's slave? And I think you should have changed that second comma to a period. Despite that, not much reference to the pond itself,but apparently you knew what you were doing, and you thought differently then frogs or fishes, which is commendable, not saying there is anything wrong with traditional subjects.
chitown
Frogs catching insects
as they leap on lily pads,
fish watch from below.
Your haiku is very traditional, depicting the daily routine of the pond's inhabitants. Perhaps you could have used some fancier wordings, like instead of you first line, perhaps: "Frogs lash out their tongues". Not a bad haiku, but nothing really to differentiate it from the crowd.
iamnotironman
Frogs on lily pads.
Catching bugs and jumping all
Over the huge pond.
I'm not sure if you'll care to see this, but after your corrections you came out with something similar to chitown and others. A good poem, with traditional thoughts of a pond in mind. But I don't like the transition between you second and last lines. You split the sentence. Other than that, ok haiku.
XVERB
Deep in the forest
A pond of fishes and frogs
Sits peacefully still.
You have captured the tranquility of a middle-of-nowhere small body of water. Nothing is disturbing it, as you state in your last line. Simple but effective haiku.
idontsuckthatmuch
The green lily glides,
Gracefully across the pond,
Breaking the silence.
You haiku sets off an image in my mind of the pond. The only problem I have with yours is that I wasn't aware that floating lilies make sounds, as stated in your last line. But words like "glide" instead of float and "gracefully" instead of peacefully really spice up your haiku. Good job.
TackyCrazyTNT
Petals float calmly,
Twirling circles in the blue
Of the Lily Pond
Only while judging have I realized how similar my haiku is to yours. Therefore, I like your poem a lot. I guess we both were creating a silent, tranquil pond with lilies on it. You got a nice picture created in my mind. Great haiku.
dudeguy45
gleaming from the sun,
lily pads silently twirl.
yes, you have found peace.
Very similar to Tacky's and the first ever haiku I posted on this thread. Not to toot my own horn, but I think it's great.
EnterOrion
Splash, strength, fight, drown, ice,
Beneath the leaves of power,
I have become lost.
Are you drowning in a 5 foot deep pond? Or are you being murdered by aknerd? Anyway, you paint a picture in my mind of a isolated pond, and you are forever sunk in it. You deviated than the traditional "frogs n fish" mindset. Good job.
moomentality
Frog contemplates life
Lillies bear scents and colours
Frog thinks life is well.
You give your main character, Frog, a peaceful and thoughtful mindset, rather than just saying a frog catches flies, or something similar to that. I agree with your frog. Who wouldn't like a serene pond? I like your haiku a lot.
Deceptive
Radiant lilies,
Crystal still water, calmness
still lives in our world.
Very interesting haiku. I smiled when I read your last line. It is hard to believe there are calm places still left in our bustling city life. Nice word choices, such as "radiant". Very thoughtful and professional haiku.
theregulator
The sign said, "Do Not".
But I didn't heed, and it
stung. Water skiing
When I think of a pond, it is usually not big enough to ski in. Nonetheless, you have fun word choice, and apparently there is something nasty in that pond. Rule breaking is always fun. Nice thinking out of the box.
Efan
Cool, smooth, soft felt pads
Cold, watery graves under
calm tranquility.
Ponds do make good dump sites. And lilies make nice curtains. Interesting haiku, as you seem to combine the topic of death and the calmness of a tranquil pond. In result, you get a beautiful haiku.
Koru7
slow rain, dripping off,
green leaves bend slowly down,
rain showers coldly.
Your haiku doesn't seem to have any reference to a pond. The theme wasn't "rain".
deathopper
The ebbing lilies,
Corrupting my reflection,
Drift through my sad life.
I know ebbing is a real word, and it is a good choice, showing that the lilies are calmly swaying back and forth in the pond. Corrupting is nice too. The last line adds to it. Very calming haiku.
Kyouzou
Pacific ripples
beryl veneer, azure canvas
Raucous symphony of croaks
Superb word choice. Apparently you don't like frog croaks. You haiku symbolizes a pond busy with life. Very good word choice. Very good haiku. only problem: LAST LINE IS 7 SYLLABLES!
Zaork
Obfuscated, I
Hide, lost in lilting shadows
softly decomposed.
You got good descriptive words here, but there seems to be no mention of a pond.
invisibleninjagirl
Quiet, secret world
Sheltered away from hustle
Lilies float in peace.
We seemed to be going for the same thing when we wrote our haikus. A distant pond, forever undisturbed. Good word choice, and I like how you made the pond it's own "secret world".
ug5151
Shallow Waters
Holding small worlds
Lily Pads afloat.
I like how you said "holding small worlds". A pond has so many things, from fish to bugs, crayfish to lilies. So many things. But your first line is 4 syllables, and so is the second line. Haiku follows the 5-7-5 rule.
aknerd
A covered dead face;
The passing lilies conceal
My hidden bodies.
Nice. The cops wouldn't look in a nice lil' pond for bodies would they? You sir, are a professional murderer. For some reason, peaceful haiku.
Nater
"cricket" says the frog,
Finding a mate proves fruitless
The tree must go on
Ok The Riddler, what is your haiku supposed to mean? A bachelor frog that crickets? A tree? But no pond. It's interesting, but confusing and off-topic.
jacksonghuntington
Dark, murky water,
A lily pad with flowers.
A mask on it's face.
Mysterious haiku. Is the lilipad a person with a mask? Anyway, thoughtful haiku.
Hypermnestra
In night, the pond lies
Dormant, but underwater
The fish never sleep
Fish do sleep. Just with their eyes open. But I like the word dormant, and how the pond "lies". Simple haiku. I like it.
Now time for placings.
3rd place: Deceptive
Radiant lilies,
Crystal still water, calmness
still lives in our world.
I love the last line. Your haiku is beautiful.
2nd place: TackyCrazyTNT
Petals float calmly,
Twirling circles in the blue
Of the Lily Pond
My haiku and yours were very similar, and you captured and reworded my idea of a pond, therefore I thought your haiku was very good.
Merit winner: moomentality
Frog contemplates life
Lillies bear scents and colours
Frog thinks life is well.
You deviated from tradition and gave your frog a personality, and a working thought process. Your poem is whimsical and the winner of this week. Go ask a mod for your merit.
And sorry if I started a brouhaha, I just didn't want people to be disappointed if Fallen, in his sick state, didn't critique their haiku. So that's all for this week.
New theme: Last Person on Earth
Happy Haikuing!
