Er...Emp?
Chill (pun intended). I've been doing last-minute revisions for the past hour.
Since no complaints were made regarding submissions, here you go.
A lot of these are just too darn similar. My interpretations are likely way off, but...
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[When I say "Punctuation should be consistant", I don't necessarily mean that every line needs it, nor is it required, but if you're using it, make it flow consistantly because it seems a bit disjointed.]
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xXxDAPRO89xXx
Paradise of ice.
A parade never-ending.
The one icey life
Punctuation should be consistant. The slight alliterations of nEver-Ending and [i]cey l[i]fe were uplifting. I see it as an Inuit tribesman appreaciating all that he has, enjoying the vast expanse of the Arctic.
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Arceus12
Paradise in ice,
Like an ice-cold block of ice
They live in ice now
Punctuation should be consistant. Who is this 'they'? I don't quite get the need for saying that ice is similar to an ice-cold block of ice, other than for the syllables. Redundancy is redundant. The last line seems stretched for syllables, as well. Anyway, I interpret this as a young couple that froze to death in eachother's arms; long gone, yet inseperable.
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pickpocket
Paradise of ice
It's where I keep all my food
Refrigerator
The message is good: convenience is indeed a luxury that we should all be grateful for. But the second line seems a bit choppy. "It's where I keep all of my food" would've flowed better, but then there would be a syllable issue.
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xerox
Cold air passes through...
Winter finally is here:
Paradise of ice!
This really seems to capture the overall feeling of Winter: how warmly accepted these chilly months can be; that it's something to be anticipated instead of scorned. Anyway, the flow is good and the tone is uplifting.
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Roxxar123
The cold air of ice,
Brings a feel of paradise
Paradise of ice.
Punctuation should be consistant. The rhyming and repetition give it a decent flow. This seems like a person is freezing to death, but they are numbed beyond pain, so it feels blissful and calming to them.
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killersup10
blistering tundra
beautiful swollen snowflakes
frozen paradise
This reminds me of looking out the window as a child when it would snow, and the snow would pile high in exquisite mounds; unmoving, other than the sand-like dusting on top... Anyway, it has a good flow, but, although not required, punctuation/capitalization would've been nice.
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Maverick4
I can't be bothered
To even attempt to feel.
Apathy at last!
A strange, but welcome twist on the theme. This has a similar connotation to Roxxar123's poem: it appears quite dismal to an external observer, but to the individual, it is pleasant. Anyway, the flow is good and the tone is very uplifting.
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Nichodemus
Pleasing shade of pink,
Scent of the blazing tropics,
Yet cool on the tongue.
Another welcome twist, saying that the ice tastes like a warm paradise. I like the contrast and sensory imagery. It also flows very well.
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MagicTree
Blissful cold freezes,
Shards of ice make a mosaic
Snow rests, soft and silent
Punctuation should be consistant. I like the strong imagery, about how each individual snowflake joins and contributes to the whole. It's a lovely metaphor for humanity. A very good flow with a slightly diminishing tone.
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pangtongshu
So call'd paradise!
A white demon's tyranny
Traps hope down, frozen
This reminds me of how Russian prisoners were occasionally sent to Siberia as punishment for their crimes: some saw it as a taste of freedom; to others, death. The dismal tone is good, in this case.
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69_lol_69
Paradise of ice.
An entourage of coldness
Icicle loving.
I'm not sure how the last line fits. What is loving the icicle(s)? Is it a particular person's fetish? Is it that the land's conditions create them? With any interpretation, that last line still seems disjointed and hinders the flow quite a bit.
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And the winner is...
(extremely long dramatic pause)
killersup10
There were others that I would've likely chosen, but yours happened to strike a strong emotional chord. Good job.
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killersup10's poem will be proudly displayed in the about of the account HaikuContestWinners, at least until an official archive is made.
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The NEXT THEME is: Naughty or Nice. It will be due Dec 24 11:59pm AGtime. Have fun, everyone!
