Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Epics from Greece.
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So this will hopefully be a collection of stories based on heroes and myths of classical times... I love stuff like the Illiad and Achilles etc. so I hope this will be fun for me to write and for you to read and critique.
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The Great city lay ahead; for its inhabitants it was the epitome of safety, it had withstood many sieges and campaigns agaisnt it and the sight of ships on the horizon didn't worry them. For the armada advancing on the shores it looked like a stubborn mule digging its hooves into the dirt and refusing to move on.
It had been 3 weeks since Helen had been stolen away by Paris. And Achaean army had amassed a huge fleet to retrieve her. The sails billowed and shouts echoed round the stretched fabric. With the warm sun finally setting throwing glittering colours across the sky the men on board settled for a short night ahead... the attack would start early in the morning.
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Hmm, nothing wrong all together, though a few of the phrases didn't flow, such as the mule part
Pretty good. My only problem with it is that you're kind of not the one actually writing it. I mean, it's kind of just a remake.
Moabarmorgamer: We have a better term for it: Fanfiction. Nothing wrong with that; I'd like to see how this turns out.
The bit up there is about the city of Troy, correct?
Hopefully... sort of.
My only problem with it is that you're kind of not the one actually writing it. I mean, it's kind of just a remake.
It's a myth and just about every telling of it has been different from Homer to that film with Brad Pitt in >.>
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The sun broke above the horizon and the men on sentry duty on the great walls of Troy saw a curtain lift on the hige army that ha silently assembled infront of their gate. Though it was still far away down the beach the rumble of the leather sandals shook the ground. It was a good day to fight; the air was cool and the sea pushed a calming breeze throught he lines of men.
A great horn blew and like a great cascade of wine each and every man stormed forward to the walls. As they raced over the dunes and mounds of he beach they could sea the enemy bows bracing the thin twine stretching back in the fingers of the great foe. With 500 metres to go the rush stopped and a tight phalanx formed. The Xiphos was kept at their side and the long spears jutted out. This infinite hedgehog edged forward shields interlocking protecting each man against the onslaught of arrows that was to come.
The one disadvantage of this beach (except the unforgiving sea behind them; which lashed at them with all the spite of Poseidon) was that it faced East. The sun rose slowly blinding the men who had not shielded themselves. Then, as the arrows rose into the sky, the sun disapeared, blocked out by the dense mass of wood and blade. The arrows glided up, peaked and began their painful fall. The experienced Archaeans barely flinched. 9 years of war had hardened them and the slightest movement of their shield protected them. The front line merely crouched as rows behind slotted their shiled above the head of the man in front. Discipline and trust in fellow men meant no lives were lost in this first exchange. Though the men looked gladly at each other sharing relieved glances among their group they all knew much worse was to come. The great gates would open and the enemy would have to face them or risk starvation and the inhonourable death that would follow.
Achilles, the great warrior, who since the start of the war had conquered 11 cities and 12 islands was no where to be seen. After Agamemnon had stolen his concumbine Achilles had abandoned the cause and had begged Zeus to bring success to the Trojans. Despite this the Archaeans had had relative success since and as they began once again to march towards the gates all the soldiers felt confident of a crushing victory and dreamed of a swift journey home to see their loved ones.
The huge wooden gates banded with iron heaved and slowly glided open. A vast army poured out of it but shouts from the rear soon made the men regain their composure. The advanced forward slowly spreading into lines ready to face their enemy. With the two lines of men barely 300 metres apart both sides aching and yearning to charge the Trojans halted. The young Paris whose kind and lustfull choice had started the war marched forward, parting the ammassed army as he strided forward. The ranks closed behind him and at the front he faced the huge army sent to kill him and retieve the woman he had become entranced with. The lines rippled and Menelaus marched towards him. The thought of his wife being so close and maybe even watching angered him. He had planned to offer a fair duel to bring the war to an end but instead charged....
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Ok my tea is almost ready so that is a nice cliffhangar cutting off point (even though I hope msot of you know what happens here anyway.... kinda like being surprised the Titanic sunk when you saw the film for the first time) anyway I hoped you enjoyed this so far. And thankyou fot he comments.
Moabarmorgamer: We have a better term for it: Fanfiction. Nothing wrong with that; I'd like to see how this turns out.
Oh, sorry, I thought he was writing and remaking already written stories like that of Theseus or Orpheus. Oops. Sorry.
I didn't mean anything was wrong with it, I just have a vendetta against simply rewriting stuff.
Sweat dripping into his eyes and spit fown his chin Menelaus' ornate armour made him look much larger than he was and Paris reared back in fright. With 2 feet between them Menelaus lept into the air; his spear crashed into the side of Paris' shield and the young prince was pushed back towards his own watching troops. As Menelaus adavanced again Paris side-stepped and lunged with his long spear. The experienced Menelaus just reached out hand, grabbed the wooden shaft and pulled the prince towards him bending the the spear in Paris' grip so the head pointed himself. As the spear reached achingly close to Paris' face Menelaus wrenched it away and through it far across the open space. Both men stood back and caught their breath, wiping sweat from their brows. Their short swords were quickly drawn and they stood face to face waiting for each others move. Paris blinked first and thrust his sword at Menelaus who merely pushed away the blade with a wave of his shield. With Paris wrong-footed by the failed lunge Menelaus swung his sword and beat Paris with the hilt of it. Paris helmet buckled under the blows and became lodged onto his face. He had no interest in killing young Paris straight away, he wanted to punish him for the dis-respect he had shown. With Paris bent double Menelaus span round and hit Paris' shins with the flat of his sword. Paris flew to the floor and before he could gain his footing Menelaus grabbed a firm hold of the great crest that adorned PAris' helmet and dragged him away towards his own lands. The shining metal battered and bent, tinged with scarlet blood, pinched into the face of Paris'. Seeing Paris in such a situation the beautiful Aphrodite picked him up in her graceful arms and placed him back into his bedroom. The prince ran to the window angry at himself for being beaten and for still being alive. Menelaus tripped forward with the sudden lack of wait counter-balancing his stride and whirled round too see an unblemished helmet in his grasp. He threw it into the Trojan army in a fury and stormed off into the bowls of his own. Now calm Paris went to the temple to give thanks to Aphrodite. He had lived to fight on even though his honour was gone and he would ahve to fight on a beaten man.
Good stories Pixie, a bit like the ones Valerio Massimo Manfredi writes.
My only problem with it is that you're kind of not the one actually writing it!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
TaDah! See what this is. Thank you moat, pixie, and parsat!
[url]http://armorgames.com/community/thread/4531020/rewrite-a-story-contest-a-brothers-love-page-1[/url]
I think you should write one about Persus or Oreus (That dude that went into the underworld.) Did i spell that right? Oh yeah then there's Sythophis the guy that tricked persephone into letting him out of the underworld.
Here I am just following the basic outline of the Greek myths. If you look at pieces of art they can be on the same subject but still beautiful in their own right. I think it is the National Gallery at the moment that has an exhibit of Turner works hung up next to other works that look similar too them. Anyway thanks for your comments (mostly)
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