Well, now you can! Here at the life shop, you can buy or rent a life for a discounted price! We also use a buy one get one free deal for friends and other people you wish to give lives to as presents or gifts!
Simple Ordinary Life: $50 now 10% off! (I'm assuming that since your here you can easily do the math.)
More Complicated Life: $75
Thrilling Life: $115
All Star Life: $200
Rent-a-Life: 5% off on ant life you want. Rentals last a week. We have free sample lives for one hour each.
It's the dollar sign you idiot of course its American.
Also, you can get a refund for your life if you don't like it.
Does the government know about this?
Of course they do! This is a government funded business designed to recruit hackers and nerds into the army by giving them a real life and therefore a reason to want to fight for our country. It's all a huge crackup deep fried in a conspiracy theory! This is real business we're talking about here! So step right up and get your life today!
