I don't have a phone either like some of you but my friend has his ring tone as me going "But daddyyy I wanted a ponayy." in a weird voice in which only I can do.
My ringtone for calls is the beginning to Baba O'Reily by The Who, and my text message tone is an air raid siren(the ones from the 1950's used to signal a nuclear attack) I also use the air raid siren for my alarm every morning. Wakes me up in a jiffy.
Well my main ringtone if somebody call's me is Brass Monkey and Man on the Moon by Kid Cudi
My txt msgng is a butler saying "Excuse me Boss You have a Text Message" it awesome when im in class and it goes off...and also LOL Smiley face for my Pic msgng for the ladies... and for when bill collectors call i have a ringtone that say's What ever you dont..yo black as$ bet not answer this phone...WHY!!!! cause there's a God dam bill collecter call fool...Oh snap the popo later fool. its hilarious