Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → 'The Raven's Serenade' by Devoidless
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First two parts of a short little tale I am writing. Well post in two parts sections until finished.
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The Raven's Serenade
"If this it what is required to save her, to change it all..."
Part One: Awakening
Dark. Quiet. Still. Empty.
That was how the room Demodocus awoke in was, and had that way for nearly a week now. A week since his lover Kalika had mysteriously vanished. Still partially in the world of dreams, Demodocus rolled over to kiss Kalika.
"Morning, my rosebud." he murmured as he rolled. When he was met with nothing but bedding, his thoughts were once again clear.
Cursing the gods for not answering his prayers, he silently got dressed. Another day was ahead of him. Another day devoted to find his missing love. And, like every other day before, he prayed that today was the day he would find her. Little did he know how that prayer was to answered, and how swiftly.
Demodocus wandered the streets which were dull, dark and empty this early in the morning. He had no idea what or who he was looking for much like every day which came before. Kalika had vanished with no trace. Not a living soul in his town had seen or heard from her. It all stank of evil spirits to Demodocus. People did not just leave without notice, vanish without any signs. Especially not Kalika. She was loving and faithful to him, the perfect wife-to-be....
Lost in his thoughts, Demodocus had lost track of where he was. At some point he seemed to have wandered off of the main street. Quite far off it. The buildings around him seemed old and in ill upkeep. Wild grasses were growing in the street, stones were crumbling from their buildings. It did not resemble anywhere that he knew of in his town. Looking around to regain his sense of direction, something gleamed in the newly arisen sun. There was a clearing in the grass not far from him. Nearing closer to it, he quickly recognized it.
"It's...no, it can't be...Yet it is! It's..Kalika's ring."
There lay his lover's ring. Simple and silver, yet shining brighter than the finest gold, it was all Demodocus could afford. Surrounding it was, oddly enough, several large ebony feathers.
"She never took off her ring, She loved it so!" Demodocus said aloud while he bent down to pick it up.
"I'll give this back to her when I fi---" was all he could manage to say before a sharp blow struck him in the back of his head.
He attempted to turn around to see his assailant. His vision blurry from the pain, he could only make out a large black shape before one more swift blow rendered him unconscious.
Part Two: Findings
Demodocus awoke, once again, thanks to a gentle rain. The water was blessedly cool to his pain racked body. Sitting up a bit too quickly, the world around him began to spin wildly out of control. Gingerly rubbing the back of his head which still dully throbbed, Demodocus slowly stood up. Quickly checking himself over, he noticed that his cheek was gashed and bleeding slightly.
"God's below...what happened. Why would someone attack me?" he mumbled while looking around.
His surroundings had somehow become worse. The buildings were now all but destroyed by age, the grasses given way to small bushes and trees. The sky was dark, far darker than it had been when he was attacked.
"How long have I been unconscious? Twas early morning before." he wondered to himself silently.
Out of the corner of his eye, Demodocus noticed someone. He whirled around, expecting it to be his assailant once again.
"Morning, stranger." said a dull and raspy voice from the shadows.
"Show yourself, for I do not like being spoken to or speaking to shadows and darkness." demanded Demodocus.
The voice did obey. Out forth from the shadows stepped a rather slender and pale skinned man. His clothes were in tatters and caked in mud, his face gaunt and angular. Demodocus caught a foul odor on the air which smelled of death. Whether it came from the man or elsewhere he could not tell.
"That better, stranger?" said the pale man.
"Demodocus."
"Hmm?"
"That is my name. Demodocus. Not what be yours, pale one?"
"That's a good question, stra---I mean, Demodocus. Hmmm...I believe it was Soterious at one point or another."
Ignoring Soterious' odd answer, Demodocus asked "You said it was morning when you first spoke. Yet is was clear and barely dawn before I was struck down by an unknown attacker."
"It still is morning. It's always like this here. Dark skied and forever maddeningly raining ever so lightly. You must be new here." replied Soterious.
"Here? New? I've lived here the whole of my life. It is you who is new here."
Laughing ever so slightly, Soterious retorted "Ha, maybe in your world Demodocus. Yet this is not your world, this is our world. The realm between the living and the dead. Every so often one of you living beings end up here one way or another. Come to think of it...the last one was just about a week ago."
Not his world, not his town? How did he get here? Why was he here? These thoughts and many more were racing through his mind until he heard Soterious; last remark.
"A week ago? Did you say a week? Did you happen to see what they looked like?" leaped the words from Demodocus' lips.
"Indeed I did."
"Then tell me, damn you! Tell me!"
"No need to be rude. Yet I shall let is pass. From what I recall, she had flowing brown hair, radiant tanned skin and the body that even Aphrodite would be envious of. Glorious women."
Demodocus felt like he was struck with the mightiest blow a God could muster. That was his Kalika. The hair, the skin, the body, the timing...all matched up. There was no one else who it could be, he was sure of it.
"That's...that's my Kalika!" Demodocus finally managed to force out. "Do you know where she is? Take me to her, or Gods help you, I will kill you where you stand."
"No need to resort to violence. If you wish to see her, I know where she is."
"Then let us wait no longer! Please, forgive my anger. I have been looking for her nonstop since she vanished."
Giving a sly smile, Soterious said "Then follow me, Demodocus. I'm sure she's dieing to see you."
And with that, they were off. Demodocus could not believe his luck in finding someone who knew where his Kalika was. He did not care how she got there, nor how he got there even. All that mattered to him was that she was near and that he would finally be able to see her, embrace her, love her.
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Feedback maybe would be nice? Kthnx.
- 21 Replies
Part Three:Reuniting
Demodocus followed Soterious for what seemed like days through this world between worlds. The world seemed familiar to Demodocus...Yet strange. Everything was dead or dieing, dark and forbidding, twisted in some unnatural way. And Soterious did not lie about the weather. Not once did the rain break nor clouds part to reveal the skies.
Finally, they reached their destination. A field lay before them, with a single large stone in the middle.
"She's on the other side of that rock Demodocus. I hope you do not receive a...cold greeting." said Soterious.
"Many thanks, friend! How will I ever repay you for this?" Demodocus asked while turning towards Soterious.
Yet where Soterious should of been, there was nothing but empty space. Demodocus looked around quickly to see where he went off to. Soterious had vanished. Yet Demodocus cared not, for he had found Kalika at last. As he walked towards the large stone, he could not help but think he heard a menacing laughter carried by the breeze...
Domodocus approached the far side of the rock. As he turned the corner, he saw Kalika sitting with her back turned to him. There was no mistaking who it was. Domodocus was quite familiar with her body, the way the looked, the way she sat.
"Kalika! At last, I have found you! I care not how you got here, or why you are here. All that matters is that I have found you!" proclaimed Demodocus.
Yet Kalika did not stir.
"Kalika, it is me! Demodocus! Be you alright?" asked Demodocus while he cautiously walked around to the front of Kalika.
When he got to her front side, Demodocus looked down to his loved Kalika. And instantly fell to his knees, vomiting violenty.
It was indeed Kalika...most of her. Her chest had been spilt open, flesh hanging from the bones. Nothing was left inside, nothing that belonged. There was but a lone raven, staring at Demodocus with head cocked and eyes piercing his soul.
"Kalika...no...no...NO! Who did this to you? Why? Why do the Gods punish me so! I can't live without you, come back to me! Please..." cried Demodocus. He had finally found his Kalika, his lover, his wife-to-be. Yet she no longer belonged to him.
And the raven continued to stare.
Part Four: Serenading
"Be gone, foul creature. Let me be, and leave my Kalika alone!" spat Demodocus.
The raven hoped down from within Kalika's corpse. It looked straight at Demodocus and let forth a loud, ugly, screeching caw.
"Leave now lest I slay you, damnable bird!" howled Demodocus as he swatted at the raven.
The raven easily avoided his attack. Looking directly at Demodocus, it opened it's bloodstained beak and said "This is my home now, caaaw. What right do you have to evict me from -my- home, Demodocus, cawcawcaw!"
Shocked, Demodocus fell backwards. The raven had spoken to him! And it knew his name no less!
"How do you speak, vile creature? How do you know my name? What be you?" inquired Demodocus.
The raven began to grow and shift and morph. It's feathers shrank and became a scaly black hide, it's legs and talons monstrously clawed feet, it's wings into sinister arms and it's beak into several sharp and yellowed teeth. The eyes, however, stayed to same. Piercing, judgmental yellow and black orbs.
"You may call me Loxias, man. Or Soterious if you prefer." snapped the creature in a barely human sounding voice.
"Sot...Soterious? You lead me here knowing what awaited me! Why do you torment me so, creature? Why have you taken my Kalika away from me?" stammered Demodocus.
Loxias simply laughed at Demodecus. "Wretched fool, you did not deserve her. You worked too hard, attended her needs not often enough. Toiled away at the quarry pits too often, then slept upon arriving home." accused Loxias.
"It..it was all to secure our future together. I tried my best, gave her everything I could...How did you steal her away from me, Loxias?"
"Steal? Ha, I would not call it by that name. I simply perched in her window and serenaded her with promises that I would give her everything she desired. Take her away to a glorious land where she would be treated as a God. Promised her everything you could never be, could never give her. She was reluctant at first. Yet not for long. So I took her here. She seemed confused at first, yet not for long. I killed her her on this spot. Made a home within her ribcage to live in. Then I ate her heart. She truly must of loved you, for it was sweet and succulent." explained Loxias in a maddeningly reasonable voice.
"Loxias, I swear to the Gods almighty that I will slay you for what you have done. I shall not rest until I have righted what is wrong, not sleep until I stand over your rotting corpse." threatened Demodocus.
"You? A mere man, weak of the flesh and mind? I think not. I will leave you two alone for now, seeing as it has been far too long since being together." taunted Luxias as he transformed back into his raven state and flew off.
Demodecus was left there with what was left off Kalika filled with more sadness, regret and wrath than any mortal man should have to harbor.
That day Demodocus buried his beloved Kalika by the stone and fell asleep with tears still stinging his eyes.
Incredible. Probably the best story I've seen in AG,altough I'm new.
I think Edgar Allen Poe would be quite proud of that one Deviodless!
I'm glad you all seem to like it.
There are still...3 more parts to it. The last part being very short.
I know what I want to write, yet the urge to it not quite there. I might have it done tonight, seeing as I am wide awake.
But more feedback plz? Critiques are also accepted, as I am always looking to improve my style. Although my style is ever changing. >_<
Another part, finishing up after I post this.
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Part Five: Answering
Red. Warm. Vibrant. Alive. Whispers.
Demodocus awoke with these on senses on his mind. He did not dream, saw nothing while his eyes were closed to shut out the wicked world around him. Yet something, or someone, had brought him gently awake. Rubbing his eyes dry (from rain or tears he was unsure), an odd sight gained his most rapt attention.
On the spot where he buried Kalika, the most glorious rose had grown over night. It's beautiful reds and green clashing violently with the dull browns and greys of the world around it. Demodocus felt...drawn to it. He crept closer to, full of awe and wonder. When he was mere inches from it, the most beautiful and powerful voice rang through his mind.
"Demodocus. I, Aphrodite, have come to you in the form of the rose. I have heard your prayers, have been watching you and your journey thus far. I know how much you loved Kalika, know your intentions were always pure. I can allow you to seek your vengeance against Luxias and bring Kalika back to life." the words sang.
"I thank you, Aphrodite, for hearing my prayers and giving me the chance to right what was wronged. Yet I know the games You Gods play. It is not as simple as that. What do You require in turn?" Demodocus inquired to the rose.
"Your words speak true, your suspicions not unfounded. I shall give unto you what is required to perform your task at hand. Yet when you slay Luxias, you are required in turn to end your own life. Otherwise Luxias shall return to life. You must prove to Me and the other Gods that your love for her was true, unconditional, more important than even your own mortal life."
"I...I agree to and understand Your terms. Yet what of Kalika? What shall become of her?"
"As promised, she will be return to life and to her realm of existence. Hades has already agreed to this, yet has added His own conditions as well."
"Conditions? What, dare I ask, does Hades require?"
"He requires that she have no memory of you when she is returned. No memory of the events which have transpired linked to you or Luxias. She will awaken in your home without ever knowing the love that you both shared, know not you ever existed."
"If it means that she will live once again amongst other mortals....then I have no choice but to yield to Your wishes." Demodocus replied hollowly.
"Good, Demodocus. Follow the trail of roses I have left for you to Luxias' lair. You shall find what you require in a rose bush at the end of your journey. Yet you never must look back once towards the way that you came. For if you do all of the roses that I have left you will wilt and die, leaving you lost in this world for the rest of time."
"Thank you, Aphrodite. I must now be off to settle this score once and for all."
With that, Demodocus left to follow the path of glorious flowers. Flowers which reminded oh-so much of his beloved Kalika. His rosebud.
EDIT:
Bah, I think I accidentally referred to 'Loxias' as 'Luxias' in that last part. Sorry about that. My mind is not quite all there, and the letters are quit near one another. I do not believe Luxias is even a name...Loxias is though, I know that much. All names used are quite real from the Greek language. And have meanings to them. Spoiler? Maybe. But I do not believe most of you would ever think to look into it.
It's very good, Devoidless, but I shall try valiantly to find something wrong with it so that your call for criticism is heeded.
On an unrelated note, did you get the name Demodocus from the character in Homer's Odyssey?
"If this it what is required to save her, to change it all..."
Part One: Awakening
Dark. Quiet. Still. Empty.
That was how the room Demodocus awoke in was, and had that way for nearly a week now. A week since his lover Kalika had mysteriously vanished. Still partially in the world of dreams, Demodocus rolled over to kiss Kalika.
"Morning, my rosebud." he murmured as he rolled. When he was met with nothing but bedding, his thoughts were once again clear.
Cursing the gods for not answering his prayers, he silently got dressed. Another day was ahead of him. Another day devoted to find his missing love. And, like every other day before, he prayed that today was the day he would find her. Little did he know how that prayer was to answered, and how swiftly.
Demodocus wandered the streets which were dull, dark and empty this early in the morning. He had no idea what or who he was looking for much like every day which came before. Kalika had vanished with no trace. Not a living soul in his town had seen or heard from her. It all stank of evil spirits to Demodocus. People did not just leave without notice, vanish without any signs. Especially not Kalika. She was loving and faithful to him, the perfect wife-to-be....
Lost in his thoughts, Demodocus had lost track of where he was. At some point he seemed to have wandered off of the main street. Quite far off it. The buildings around him seemed old and in ill upkeep. Wild grasses were growing in the street, stones were crumbling from their buildings. It did not resemble anywhere that he knew of in his town. Looking around to regain his sense of direction, something gleamed in the newly arisen sun. There was a clearing in the grass not far from him. Nearing closer to it, he quickly recognized it.
"It's...no, it can't be...Yet it is! It's..Kalika's ring."
There lay his lover's ring. Simple and silver, yet shining brighter than the finest gold, it was all Demodocus could afford. Surrounding it was, oddly enough, several large ebony feathers.
"She never took off her ring, She loved it so!" Demodocus said aloud while he bent down to pick it up.
"I'll give this back to her when I fi---" was all he could manage to say before a sharp blow struck him in the back of his head.
He attempted to turn around to see his assailant. His vision blurry from the pain, he could only make out a large black shape before one more swift blow rendered him unconscious.
Part Two: Findings
Demodocus awoke, once again, thanks to a gentle rain. The water was blessedly cool to his pain racked body. Sitting up a bit too quickly, the world around him began to spin wildly out of control. Gingerly rubbing the back of his head which still dully throbbed, Demodocus slowly stood up. Quickly checking himself over, he noticed that his cheek was gashed and bleeding slightly.
"God's below...what happened. Why would someone attack me?" he mumbled while looking around.
His surroundings had somehow become worse. The buildings were now all but destroyed by age, the grasses given way to small bushes and trees. The sky was dark, far darker than it had been when he was attacked.
"How long have I been unconscious? Twas early morning before." he wondered to himself silently.
Out of the corner of his eye, Demodocus noticed someone. He whirled around, expecting it to be his assailant once again.
"Morning, stranger." said a dull and raspy voice from the shadows.
"Show yourself, for I do not like being spoken to or speaking to shadows and darkness." demanded Demodocus.
The voice did obey. Out forth from the shadows stepped a rather slender and pale skinned man. His clothes were in tatters and caked in mud, his face gaunt and angular. Demodocus caught a foul odor on the air which smelled of death. Whether it came from the man or elsewhere he could not tell.
"That better, stranger?" said the pale man.
"Demodocus."
"Hmm?"
"That is my name. Demodocus. Not what be yours, pale one?"
"That's a good question, stra---I mean, Demodocus. Hmmm...I believe it was Soterious at one point or another."
Ignoring Soterious' odd answer, Demodocus asked "You said it was morning when you first spoke. Yet is was clear and barely dawn before I was struck down by an unknown attacker."
"It still is morning. It's always like this here. Dark skied and forever maddeningly raining ever so lightly. You must be new here." replied Soterious.
"Here? New? I've lived here the whole of my life. It is you who is new here."
Laughing ever so slightly, Soterious retorted "Ha, maybe in your world Demodocus. Yet this is not your world, this is our world. The realm between the living and the dead. Every so often one of you living beings end up here one way or another. Come to think of it...the last one was just about a week ago."
Not his world, not his town? How did he get here? Why was he here? These thoughts and many more were racing through his mind until he heard Soterious; last remark.
"A week ago? Did you say a week? Did you happen to see what they looked like?" leaped the words from Demodocus' lips.
"Indeed I did."
"Then tell me, **** you! Tell me!"
"No need to be rude. Yet I shall let is pass. From what I recall, she had flowing brown hair, radiant tanned skin and the body that even Aphrodite would be envious of. Glorious women."
Demodocus felt like he was struck with the mightiest blow a God could muster. That was his Kalika. The hair, the skin, the body, the timing...all matched up. There was no one else who it could be, he was sure of it.
"That's...that's my Kalika!" Demodocus finally managed to force out. "Do you know where she is? Take me to her, or Gods help you, I will kill you where you stand."
"No need to resort to violence. If you wish to see her, I know where she is."
"Then let us wait no longer! Please, forgive my anger. I have been looking for her nonstop since she vanished."
Giving a sly smile, Soterious said "Then follow me, Demodocus. I'm sure she's dieing to see you."
And with that, they were off. Demodocus could not believe his luck in finding someone who knew where his Kalika was. He did not care how she got there, nor how he got there even. All that mattered to him was that she was near and that he would finally be able to see her, embrace her, love her.
Ah...now, to keep my unrefuted Grammar Nazi title, I will point out the only two grammar-related mistakes that I could find. They're so miniscule I doubt it matters, but fix them if you like.
God's below
No apostrophe is needed.
dieing
Dying.
she had flowing brown hair, radiant tanned skin and the body that even Aphrodite would be envious of. Glorious women."
Not anything wrong with this, but I'd like to say that in most Greek myths, when women are compared in anything to a god or goddess(goddess in particular, they seem to be more vain), they either get
A) Killed
B) Turned into an ant or similar creature
C) Cursed(or their family is cursed)
Kalika must have better luck than we thought, or at least Demodocus does. For Aphrodite to have forgiven such a thing(last time I looked, she tried to get Psyche to fall in love with the ugliest dude ever when Psyche was compared to her, even when it totally wasn't Psyche's fault) and to then aid Demodocus is proof that his luck isn't all bad. But who can match up against a raven and win, eh?
Part Three:Reuniting
Demodocus followed Soterious for what seemed like days through this world between worlds. The world seemed familiar to Demodocus...Yet strange. Everything was dead or dieing, dark and forbidding, twisted in some unnatural way. And Soterious did not lie about the weather. Not once did the rain break nor clouds part to reveal the skies.
Finally, they reached their destination. A field lay before them, with a single large stone in the middle.
"She's on the other side of that rock Demodocus. I hope you do not receive a...cold greeting." said Soterious.
"Many thanks, friend! How will I ever repay you for this?" Demodocus asked while turning towards Soterious.
Yet where Soterious should of been, there was nothing but empty space. Demodocus looked around quickly to see where he went off to. Soterious had vanished. Yet Demodocus cared not, for he had found Kalika at last. As he walked towards the large stone, he could not help but think he heard a menacing laughter carried by the breeze...
Domodocus approached the far side of the rock. As he turned the corner, he saw Kalika sitting with her back turned to him. There was no mistaking who it was. Domodocus was quite familiar with her body, the way the looked, the way she sat.
"Kalika! At last, I have found you! I care not how you got here, or why you are here. All that matters is that I have found you!" proclaimed Demodocus.
Yet Kalika did not stir.
"Kalika, it is me! Demodocus! Be you alright?" asked Demodocus while he cautiously walked around to the front of Kalika.
When he got to her front side, Demodocus looked down to his loved Kalika. And instantly fell to his knees, vomiting violenty.
It was indeed Kalika...most of her. Her chest had been spilt open, flesh hanging from the bones. Nothing was left inside, nothing that belonged. There was but a lone raven, staring at Demodocus with head cocked and eyes piercing his soul.
"Kalika...no...no...NO! Who did this to you? Why? Why do the Gods punish me so! I can't live without you, come back to me! Please..." cried Demodocus. He had finally found his Kalika, his lover, his wife-to-be. Yet she no longer belonged to him.
And the raven continued to stare.
Part Four: Serenading
"Be gone, foul creature. Let me be, and leave my Kalika alone!" spat Demodocus.
The raven hoped down from within Kalika's corpse. It looked straight at Demodocus and let forth a loud, ugly, screeching caw.
"Leave now lest I slay you, ****able bird!" howled Demodocus as he swatted at the raven.
The raven easily avoided his attack. Looking directly at Demodocus, it opened it's bloodstained beak and said "This is my home now, caaaw. What right do you have to evict me from -my- home, Demodocus, cawcawcaw!"
Shocked, Demodocus fell backwards. The raven had spoken to him! And it knew his name no less!
"How do you speak, vile creature? How do you know my name? What be you?" inquired Demodocus.
The raven began to grow and shift and morph. It's feathers shrank and became a scaly black hide, it's legs and talons monstrously clawed feet, it's wings into sinister arms and it's beak into several sharp and yellowed teeth. The eyes, however, stayed to same. Piercing, judgmental yellow and black orbs.
"You may call me Loxias, man. Or Soterious if you prefer." snapped the creature in a barely human sounding voice.
"Sot...Soterious? You lead me here knowing what awaited me! Why do you torment me so, creature? Why have you taken my Kalika away from me?" stammered Demodocus.
Loxias simply laughed at Demodecus. "Wretched fool, you did not deserve her. You worked too hard, attended her needs not often enough. Toiled away at the quarry pits too often, then slept upon arriving home." accused Loxias.
"It..it was all to secure our future together. I tried my best, gave her everything I could...How did you steal her away from me, Loxias?"
"Steal? Ha, I would not call it by that name. I simply perched in her window and serenaded her with promises that I would give her everything she desired. Take her away to a glorious land where she would be treated as a God. Promised her everything you could never be, could never give her. She was reluctant at first. Yet not for long. So I took her here. She seemed confused at first, yet not for long. I killed her her on this spot. Made a home within her ribcage to live in. Then I ate her heart. She truly must of loved you, for it was sweet and succulent." explained Loxias in a maddeningly reasonable voice.
"Loxias, I swear to the Gods almighty that I will slay you for what you have done. I shall not rest until I have righted what is wrong, not sleep until I stand over your rotting corpse." threatened Demodocus.
"You? A mere man, weak of the flesh and mind? I think not. I will leave you two alone for now, seeing as it has been far too long since being together." taunted Luxias as he transformed back into his raven state and flew off.
Demodecus was left there with what was left off Kalika filled with more sadness, regret and wrath than any mortal man should have to harbor.
That day Demodocus buried his beloved Kalika by the stone and fell asleep with tears still stinging his eyes.
There is nothing to improve upon here, and nothing I can comment on.
Red. Warm. Vibrant. Alive. Whispers.
Demodocus awoke with these on senses on his mind. He did not dream, saw nothing while his eyes were closed to shut out the wicked world around him. Yet something, or someone, had brought him gently awake. Rubbing his eyes dry (from rain or tears he was unsure), an odd sight gained his most rapt attention.
On the spot where he buried Kalika, the most glorious rose had grown over night. It's beautiful reds and green clashing violently with the dull browns and greys of the world around it. Demodocus felt...drawn to it. He crept closer to, full of awe and wonder. When he was mere inches from it, the most beautiful and powerful voice rang through his mind.
"Demodocus. I, Aphrodite, have come to you in the form of the rose. I have heard your prayers, have been watching you and your journey thus far. I know how much you loved Kalika, know your intentions were always pure. I can allow you to seek your vengeance against Luxias and bring Kalika back to life." the words sang.
"I thank you, Aphrodite, for hearing my prayers and giving me the chance to right what was wronged. Yet I know the games You Gods play. It is not as simple as that. What do You require in turn?" Demodocus inquired to the rose.
"Your words speak true, your suspicions not unfounded. I shall give unto you what is required to perform your task at hand. Yet when you slay Luxias, you are required in turn to end your own life. Otherwise Luxias shall return to life. You must prove to Me and the other Gods that your love for her was true, unconditional, more important than even your own mortal life."
"I...I agree to and understand Your terms. Yet what of Kalika? What shall become of her?"
"As promised, she will be return to life and to her realm of existence. Hades has already agreed to this, yet has added His own conditions as well."
"Conditions? What, dare I ask, does Hades require?"
"He requires that she have no memory of you when she is returned. No memory of the events which have transpired linked to you or Luxias. She will awaken in your home without ever knowing the love that you both shared, know not you ever existed."
"If it means that she will live once again amongst other mortals....then I have no choice but to yield to Your wishes." Demodocus replied hollowly.
"Good, Demodocus. Follow the trail of roses I have left for you to Luxias' lair. You shall find what you require in a rose bush at the end of your journey. Yet you never must look back once towards the way that you came. For if you do all of the roses that I have left you will wilt and die, leaving you lost in this world for the rest of time."
"Thank you, Aphrodite. I must now be off to settle this score once and for all."
With that, Demodocus left to follow the path of glorious flowers. Flowers which reminded oh-so much of his beloved Kalika. His rosebud.
So now we know for certain that this is set in the time of the Greek...
Ah...that is a perfect chapter as well.
Poor Demodocus. That deal sucks for him. >=(
On an unrelated note, did you get the name Demodocus from the character in Homer's Odyssey?
I actually forgot it was the name of an Odyssey character until the first part was done. But it fit quite well. And I write it off as parents naming their children after heroes of lore in hopes of giving them success in their life.
Not anything wrong with this, but I'd like to say that in most Greek myths, when women are compared in anything to a god or goddess(goddess in particular, they seem to be more vain), they either get
A) Killed
B) Turned into an ant or similar creature
C) Cursed(or their family is cursed)
Kalika must have better luck than we thought, or at least Demodocus does. For Aphrodite to have forgiven such a thing(last time I looked, she tried to get Psyche to fall in love with the ugliest dude ever when Psyche was compared to her, even when it totally wasn't Psyche's fault) and to then aid Demodocus is proof that his luck isn't all bad. But who can match up against a raven and win, eh?
Well, as found out in the following parts, it was not all that off. And it is going to be assumed that Demodocus had never really verbalized that thought. Soterious knew more than Demodocus did at that point, so it was quite appropriate.
And and and...last two parts coming soon. As in less than an hour.
Done! Posting it all at once for easier reading.
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The Raven's Serenade
"If this it what is required to save her, to change it all..."
Part One: Awakening
Dark. Quiet. Still. Empty.
That was how the room Demodocus awoke in was, and had that way for nearly a week now. A week since his lover Kalika had mysteriously vanished. Still partially in the world of dreams, Demodocus rolled over to kiss Kalika.
"Morning, my rosebud." he murmured as he rolled. When he was met with nothing but bedding, his thoughts were once again clear.
Cursing the Gods for not answering his prayers, he silently got dressed. Another day was ahead of him. Another day devoted to find his missing love. And, like every other day before, he prayed that today was the day he would find her. Little did he know how that prayer was to answered, and how swiftly.
Demodocus wandered the streets which were dull, dark and empty this early in the morning. He had no idea what or who he was looking for much like every day which came before. Kalika had vanished with no trace. Not a living soul in his town had seen or heard from her. It all stank of evil spirits to Demodocus. People did not just leave without notice, vanish without any signs. Especially not Kalika. She was loving and faithful to him, the perfect wife-to-be....
Lost in his thoughts, Demodocus had lost track of where he was. At some point he seemed to have wandered off of the main street. Quite far off it. The buildings around him seemed old and in ill upkeep. Wild grasses were growing in the street, stones were crumbling from their buildings. It did not resemble anywhere that he knew of in his town. Looking around to regain his sense of direction, something gleamed in the newly arisen sun. There was a clearing in the grass not far from him. Nearing closer to it, he quickly recognized it.
"It's...no, it can't be...Yet it is! It's..Kalika's ring."
There lay his lover's ring. Simple and silver, yet shining brighter than the finest gold, it was all Demodocus could afford. Surrounding it was, oddly enough, several large ebony feathers.
"She never took off her ring, She loved it so!" Demodocus said aloud while he bent down to pick it up.
"I'll give this back to her when I fi---" was all he could manage to say before a sharp blow struck him in the back of his head.
He attempted to turn around to see his assailant. His vision blurry from the pain, he could only make out a large black shape before one more swift blow rendered him unconscious.
Part Two: Findings
Demodocus awoke, once again, thanks to a gentle rain. The water was blessedly cool to his pain racked body. Sitting up a bit too quickly, the world around him began to spin wildly out of control. Gingerly rubbing the back of his head which still dully throbbed, Demodocus slowly stood up. Quickly checking himself over, he noticed that his cheek was gashed and bleeding slightly.
"Gods below...what happened. Why would someone attack me?" he mumbled while looking around.
His surroundings had somehow become worse. The buildings were now all but destroyed by age, the grasses given way to small bushes and trees. The sky was dark, far darker than it had been when he was attacked.
"How long have I been unconscious? Twas early morning before." he wondered to himself silently.
Out of the corner of his eye, Demodocus noticed someone. He whirled around, expecting it to be his assailant once again.
"Morning, stranger." said a dull and raspy voice from the shadows.
"Show yourself, for I do not like being spoken to or speaking to shadows and darkness." demanded Demodocus.
The voice did obey. Out forth from the shadows stepped a rather slender and pale skinned man. His clothes were in tatters and caked in mud, his face gaunt and angular. Demodocus caught a foul odor on the air which smelled of death. Whether it came from the man or elsewhere he could not tell.
"That better, stranger?" said the pale man.
"Demodocus."
"Hmm?"
"That is my name. Demodocus. Not what be yours, pale one?"
"That's a good question, stra---I mean, Demodocus. Hmmm...I believe it was Soterious at one point or another."
Ignoring Soterious' odd answer, Demodocus asked "You said it was morning when you first spoke. Yet is was clear and barely dawn before I was struck down by an unknown attacker."
"It still is morning. It's always like this here. Dark skied and forever maddeningly raining ever so lightly. You must be new here." replied Soterious.
"Here? New? I've lived here the whole of my life. It is you who is new here."
Laughing ever so slightly, Soterious retorted "Ha, maybe in your world Demodocus. Yet this is not your world, this is our world. The realm between the living and the dead. Every so often one of you living beings end up here one way or another. Come to think of it...the last one was just about a week ago."
Not his world, not his town? How did he get here? Why was he here? These thoughts and many more were racing through his mind until he heard Soterious' last remark.
"A week ago? Did you say a week? Did you happen to see what they looked like?" leaped the words from Demodocus' lips.
"Indeed I did."
"Then tell me, d**m you! Tell me!"
"No need to be rude. Yet I shall let is pass. From what I recall, she had flowing brown hair, radiant tanned skin and the body that even Aphrodite would be envious of. Glorious women."
Demodocus felt like he was struck with the mightiest blow a God could muster. That was his Kalika. The hair, the skin, the body, the timing...all matched up. There was no one else who it could be, he was sure of it.
"That's...that's my Kalika!" Demodocus finally managed to force out. "Do you know where she is? Take me to her, or Gods help you, I will kill you where you stand."
"No need to resort to violence. If you wish to see her, I know where she is."
"Then let us wait no longer! Please, forgive my anger. I have been looking for her nonstop since she vanished."
Giving a sly smile, Soterious said "Then follow me, Demodocus. I'm sure she's dieing to see you."
And with that, they were off. Demodocus could not believe his luck in finding someone who knew where his Kalika was. He did not care how she got there, nor how he got there even. All that mattered to him was that she was near and that he would finally be able to see her, embrace her, love her.
Part Three:Reuniting
Demodocus followed Soterious for what seemed like days through this world between worlds. The world seemed familiar to Demodocus...Yet strange. Everything was dead or dieing, dark and forbidding, twisted in some unnatural way. And Soterious did not lie about the weather. Not once did the rain break nor clouds part to reveal the skies.
Finally, they reached their destination. A field lay before them, with a single large stone in the middle.
"She's on the other side of that rock Demodocus. I hope you do not receive a...cold greeting." said Soterious.
"Many thanks, friend! How will I ever repay you for this?" Demodocus asked while turning towards Soterious.
Yet where Soterious should of been, there was nothing but empty space. Demodocus looked around quickly to see where he went off to. Soterious had vanished. Yet Demodocus cared not, for he had found Kalika at last. As he walked towards the large stone, he could not help but think he heard a menacing laughter carried by the breeze...
Domodocus approached the far side of the rock. As he turned the corner, he saw Kalika sitting with her back turned to him. There was no mistaking who it was. Domodocus was quite familiar with her body, the way the looked, the way she sat.
"Kalika! At last, I have found you! I care not how you got here, or why you are here. All that matters is that I have found you!" proclaimed Demodocus.
Yet Kalika did not stir.
"Kalika, it is me! Demodocus! Be you alright?" asked Demodocus while he cautiously walked around to the front of Kalika.
When he got to her front side, Demodocus looked down to his loved Kalika. And instantly fell to his knees, vomiting violenty.
It was indeed Kalika...most of her. Her chest had been spilt open, flesh hanging from the bones. Nothing was left inside, nothing that belonged. There was but a lone raven, staring at Demodocus with head cocked and eyes piercing his soul.
"Kalika...no...no...NO! Who did this to you? Why? Why do the Gods punish me so! I can't live without you, come back to me! Please..." cried Demodocus. He had finally found his Kalika, his lover, his wife-to-be. Yet she no longer belonged to him.
And the raven continued to stare.
Part Four: Serenading
"Be gone, foul creature. Let me be, and leave my Kalika alone!" spat Demodocus.
The raven hoped down from within Kalika's corpse. It looked straight at Demodocus and let forth a loud, ugly, screeching caw.
"Leave now lest I slay you, d**mable bird!" howled Demodocus as he swatted at the raven.
The raven easily avoided his attack. Looking directly at Demodocus, it opened it's bloodstained beak and said "This is my home now, caaaw. What right do you have to evict me from -my- home, Demodocus, cawcawcaw!"
Shocked, Demodocus fell backwards. The raven had spoken to him! And it knew his name no less!
"How do you speak, vile creature? How do you know my name? What be you?" inquired Demodocus.
The raven began to grow and shift and morph. It's feathers shrank and became a scaly black hide, it's legs and talons monstrously clawed feet, it's wings into sinister arms and it's beak into several sharp and yellowed teeth. The eyes, however, stayed to same. Piercing, judgmental yellow and black orbs.
"You may call me Loxias, man. Or Soterious if you prefer." snapped the creature in a barely human sounding voice.
"Sot...Soterious? You lead me here knowing what awaited me! Why do you torment me so, creature? Why have you taken my Kalika away from me?" stammered Demodocus.
Loxias simply laughed at Demodecus. "Wretched fool, you did not deserve her. You worked too hard, attended her needs not often enough. Toiled away at the quarry pits too often, then slept upon arriving home." accused Loxias.
"It..it was all to secure our future together. I tried my best, gave her everything I could...How did you steal her away from me, Loxias?"
"Steal? Ha, I would not call it by that name. I simply perched in her window and serenaded her with promises that I would give her everything she desired. Take her away to a glorious land where she would be treated as a God. Promised her everything you could never be, could never give her. She was reluctant at first. Yet not for long. So I took her here. She seemed confused at first, yet not for long. I killed her her on this spot. Made a home within her ribcage to live in. Then I ate her heart. She truly must of loved you, for it was sweet and succulent." explained Loxias in a maddeningly reasonable voice.
"Loxias, I swear to the Gods almighty that I will slay you for what you have done. I shall not rest until I have righted what is wrong, not sleep until I stand over your rotting corpse." threatened Demodocus.
"You? A mere man, weak of the flesh and mind? I think not. I will leave you two alone for now, seeing as it has been far too long since being together." taunted Luxias as he transformed back into his raven state and flew off.
Demodecus was left there with what was left off Kalika filled with more sadness, regret and wrath than any mortal man should have to harbor.
That day Demodocus buried his beloved Kalika by the stone and fell asleep with tears still stinging his eyes.
Part Five: Answering
Red. Warm. Vibrant. Alive. Whispers.
Demodocus awoke with these on senses on his mind. He did not dream, saw nothing while his eyes were closed to shut out the wicked world around him. Yet something, or someone, had brought him gently awake. Rubbing his eyes dry (from rain or tears he was unsure), an odd sight gained his most rapt attention.
On the spot where he buried Kalika, the most glorious rose had grown over night. It's beautiful reds and green clashing violently with the dull browns and greys of the world around it. Demodocus felt...drawn to it. He crept closer to, full of awe and wonder. When he was mere inches from it, the most beautiful and powerful voice rang through his mind.
"Demodocus. I, Aphrodite, have come to you in the form of the rose. I have heard your prayers, have been watching you and your journey thus far. I know how much you loved Kalika, know your intentions were always pure. I can allow you to seek your vengeance against Luxias and bring Kalika back to life." the words sang.
"I thank you, Aphrodite, for hearing my prayers and giving me the chance to right what was wronged. Yet I know the games You Gods play. It is not as simple as that. What do You require in turn?" Demodocus inquired to the rose.
"Your words speak true, your suspicions not unfounded. I shall give unto you what is required to perform your task at hand. Yet when you slay Loxias, you are required in turn to end your own life. Otherwise Loxias shall return to life. You must prove to Me and the other Gods that your love for her was true, unconditional, more important than even your own mortal life."
"I...I agree to and understand Your terms. Yet what of Kalika? What shall become of her?"
"As promised, she will be return to life and to her realm of existence. Hades has already agreed to this, yet has added His own conditions as well."
"Conditions? What, dare I ask, does Hades require?"
"He requires that she have no memory of you when she is returned. No memory of the events which have transpired linked to you or Luxias. She will awaken in your home without ever knowing the love that you both shared, know not you ever existed."
"If it means that she will live once again amongst other mortals....then I have no choice but to yield to Your wishes." Demodocus replied hollowly.
"Good, Demodocus. Follow the trail of roses I have left for you to Loxias' lair. You shall find what you require in a rose bush at the end of your journey. Yet you never must look back once towards the way that you came. For if you do all of the roses that I have left you will wilt and die, leaving you lost in this world for the rest of time."
"Thank you, Aphrodite. I must now be off to settle this score once and for all."
With that, Demodocus left to follow the path of glorious flowers. Flowers which reminded oh-so much of his beloved Kalika. His rosebud.
Part Six: Penancing
Demodocus followed the path of single divine roses for countless miles. Through streams and forests and valleys he did pace on, never looking back. The temptation was forever there for he wanted to always look back towards where Kalika was buried. Yet the desire to strike down Loxias was all that mattered now. Nothing else was left for him, in this world or any other.
Demodocus finally arrived to where the roses where leading him. A large cave lay before it, all assortment of foul and evil smells coming forth from it's yawning maw. Next to the enterance was the rose bush that Aphrodite said would be waiting for him. Demodocus approached it, unsure of what to expect to find. He parted the flowers and stalks carefully to reveal a single blade. It looked to be ages old for it was quite rusted and dull. Nothing else was there. Picking up the blade, Demodocus was surprised to feel how light it was despite it appearing to be made from bronze. It also was warm to the touch...despite the constant rain and overcast skies. Blade in hand, Demodocus entered the cavern.
"Loxias! I call you out to face me. I am here to slay you for taking Kalika away from me! Show yourself, hideous bird!" Demodocus shouted into the depths of the cave.
Moments later, the flapping of large wings could be heard followed shortly by the scrape of rock. "So you've managed to find me, have you? And armed with but a meager, rusted blade?" the all too familiar guttural voice spoke from behind Demodocus.
Turning slowly, Demodocus turned to face Loxias. "You will pay for your evil deeds. I will spill your blood as you did spill Kalika's. I will never hesitate to create your feeble fate, little raven."
"Ho! So is that what you hope to achieve? I find you amusing, Demodocus. No mortal weapon can kill me, penetrate my hide. Several have tried yet none succeeded. I shall let you have the first blow before I tear you limb from limb." Loxias said with an amused snarl on his face.
"You have taken everything away from me. My Kalika, my future children, my entire life. For this I shall rend you limb from limb. Perhaps then you will begin to understand the pain you have caused me. For perching upon her window, I claim your mighty legs!" boomed Demodocus as he swung the blade at Loxias' knees.
"You truly think tha--" Loxias was cut short as the blade effortlessly cleaved through hide and muscle and bone, robbing him of both his legs.
Drawing the blade back while Loxias toppled, Demodocus noticed that is shone a little brighter. Appeared more keen. Warmer.
"For carrying her into this foul land, I claim your beastly arms!" he bellowed as slicing both imposing arms off at the shoulder.
Brighter. Keener. Warmer. Purer.
"For gazing up what was rightfully mine, I claim your piercing eyes!"
Glinting. Honed. Hot. Lucid.
"I'll hang your body from the highest tree, Demodocus! Disembowel you and let my brethren feast upon your rotten corpse!" screeched Loxias in barely recognizable beastly words.
"For telling her false promises to lure her away from me, I claim your vile tongue!"
Shining. Vaporal. Burning. Divine. Resplendent.
"And for devouring her heart, for destroying mine, I claim your heart and life Loxias!" Demodocus shouted at the top af his lungs as he plunged the blade deep into Loxias' chest.
The deed done, Demodocus wrenched the blade from Loxias' chest. What was once a near useless rusted tool had become a shining blade of justice. It took all his might to hold on to it, as it's inner warmth had now become a searing pain. Demodocus remembered the terms of his pact with the Gods.
"If this it what is required to save her, to change it all...I have no choice. No regrets." Demodocus said silently before impaling himself on the weapon.
And as he died, he could see Kalika be ushered out of the underworld. Could see her beauty one last time, alive once again. And within his heart, he could fell nothing but happiness. For even though she would not remember his love nor even him, she would be able to live. Which is all he ever wanted. With his last breath and tears welling in his eyes, he told her "I love you, Kalika" one final time.
Part Seven: Awakening
((I love you, Kalika.))
Kalika awoke, startled by what she had just seen. "Demodocus! NO!" she cried.
"That...that dream. That man, Demodocus...That creature, Loxias...It all seemed so real. Yet...why? Who or what were they?" pondered Kalika aloud.
She had no idea who they were, why her dream seemed so vivid. She had never met a Demodocus in her life. Never dreamed up such a horrible creature. She shook her head slowly, glorious hair untangling, and dismissed the dream from her thoughts.
And down below the surface, Hades slowly chuckled to himself while stroking a rather sinister looking ebony bird.
Not bad I must say. Why is everyone writing love stories?
Oopsies, mea culpa. Me too.
Ha, a love story? I would hardly call it that.
Much like many Greek myths and legends and stories, the end was never a happy one.
And if you call that a happy ending, I call you daft. XD
So! Any questions or comments? Please?
Continue doing it!Continue doing it! I love this story, it has a great bond of love against vengeance, of revenge, merciless, sadness.
And if you call that a happy ending, I call you daft. XD
Was that part the end of this?
Ha, a love story? I would hardly call it that.
I would. There's definitely romance, but at least this one is good. Some of the other romances, on the other hand...they have nothing but sop. Your romance only adds depth to the adventure.
Much like many Greek myths and legends and stories, the end was never a happy one.
And if you call that a happy ending, I call you daft. XD
Daft Moat will explain his side.
Sure, it's sad. But Kalika lives, does she not? And I, being accustomed to my own writing, only consider something a truly sad story when either all the main characters die, or the world is practically dead. Take The Mist for example. That is one of the saddest and most depressing endings to a movie I have ever had the deep misfortune to watch(unfortunately, I have not read the book.)
So! Any questions or comments? Please?
This is a comment, is it not? And now that was a question.
If Salika or whatever truly loved demodicus (or whatever), why did she leave with Laxios?
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