Hi I wrote this story about a year and a half ago so its not very good but its my best effort. What do you guys think of it i dont mind constuctive critisism just dont be really mean.
Its quite long so ill do it in parts.
I knew it was pointless to run they would reach me within seconds. Already I could hear the heavy thud of boots on the cobble stone path. They were trained killers and I was their target.
10 years ago The moment I realised what I could do. The ability that flowed through my veins for eighteen years but never comprehended. It one of those nights, so dark that I never believed the impenetrable vale of blackness would lift to reveal the dawn. I was an ordinary person back then, unaware of the conspiracies taking place around me. Conspiracies of a supernatural purpose. I was driving home when my car broke down. I opened the bonnet. Steam hissed into my face obscuring my vision. I heard a slam behind me. My head snapped up and I span round. A tall man was closing the door of a sleek black jaguar. He wore a coat buttoned up to his neck and dark leather trousers. His eyes narrowed slightly as he observed me, resting on my face. He nodded curtly, I tried to smile but my lips merely twitched. He rounded the corner and I lost sight of him. Through the blackness, I heard a howl of pain. Sprinting to the building, I peered around the corner. The man was standing in a side ally. Behind him, a thickset giant was holding a knife to his throat. The giant whispered something in the manâs ear with a laugh, the giant pulled on the knife, slitting the manâs throat. I gasped shutting my eyes. Waiting for the felling of cold steel on my neck. It never came. I opened my eyes. I was alone. There was no giant in the ally, no broken form of the dead man. Where had they gone? I started back to the car my hands trembling and my mind racing. I realised the Jaguar was gone. I was sweating all over. I shut my eyes. Out of the darkness emitted a low rumbling and to my astonishment, the Jaguar parked, the man got out. However, instead of going to the left to the fateful ally he turned right. Not even glancing at me, he strode down the lamp lit street and out of site. That was when it hit me a true revelation like no other. I could change fate. Hope you enjoy the first part
Well my wrting is a lot better now i was just reading it though and it is pretty rubbish. I could write one now and put it one but i dont really have enough time.
The giant whispered something in the mans ear with a laugh, the giant pulled on the knife, slitting the mans throat.
It looks like you spliced together two sentences. Perhaps a period after ear and changing 'the giant pulled the knife' to 'he pulled the knife'. Pronouns are your friend.
Also, the use of commas and semicolons would make this much more enjoyable to read.
