Hey folks Dr. here from happy after-life solutions. Are you worried about what will happen when you die? You know an insurance policy is great for your family but not you. Here at happy afterlife solutions we want to make sure you are covered for what ever you think will hit you after you die. We have kits for all major religions and believes.
Christianity- Comes with the all forgiving card, wings, and a halo. $40 each or the package for $100
Muslim- Reserve tickets to make sure you will get your new wifes. $50 a ticket
Reincarnation- A special card showing what animal or person you want to be. Prices vary depending on what thing you want to be.
Flying spaghetti monster believer- A box of frozen meat balls to make the monster happy. $60 a box
Brain Eating Zombie- Self decaying kit and a pill that makes you addicted to brains. $90
Atheist- Ham sanwich, why not enjoy one before you die. $5
All kits usually ship between 4-5 days but if you feel that you are going to die soon we have rush delivery. We take all major cards and checks. Order your after-life sucess kit today!
What if my belief includes me going to Heaven, overthrowing God in a revolution so bloody it turns the golden streets red and ruling Heaven so harshley I make Hell look like a civil rights paradise? Got anything for that?
I would like to reincarnate into a dragon and get an atheist sandwich
Dragon $100 sandwich $5 total= $105
I would like to reincarnate into a human, I want to keep playing games on mah computer. How much for that?
$100
What if my belief includes me going to Heaven, overthrowing God in a revolution so bloody it turns the golden streets red and ruling Heaven so harshley I make Hell look like a civil rights paradise? Got anything for that?
We have a psycho killer kit perfect for going crazy in the after life, $130
I just want the ham sandwich, but I will buy them all. no need for money after Im dead, besides a really awesome funeral. but I wont be around to see that.
