Tell me the most outrageous things that have happened to you, whether they are good or bad. For me, I fell down an escalator once from the top to the bottom, I've broken my front teeth countess times, and I pulled three muscles air guitar-ing before.
My friend once went to a football camp for our school. On the last practice he tried to jump one of those inflatable dummy things and sprained both of his wrists. A week later, he thought they healed pretty good, and tried to ride his bike, which only caused him to sprain his wrists again.
I would like to note that this thread appears to be composed largely of "ridiculous things that you have done to yourself". However, this minor point aside, I'd like to add one of my own!
I have been impaled. By a stake. Up my butthole.
I am not joking.
Nobody was to blame except myself. The stake was driven into the ground, and a sapling was tied to it so that it would grow straight. I was filming a mockumentary of free running. I was feeling slightly ill, but the filming had to be done that day.
Already earlier in the day, I had attempted to sideflip off the first storey balcony and landed on my head. Fortunately I was only mildly winded. My friends were already concerned, saying "maybe you should call it quits". But I insisted I needed a complete route. That's when I saw the sapling and the stake.
Noting that the stake came up to halfway up my torso, I said: "That would be perfect!" My friends, eyeing the jagged spikes resulting from the iron bar being hacked any which way, thought otherwise. I insisted, and jumped over the stake just to show them. Then I told them to do a proper take. I ran up to the stake.
Then I slipped on a wet patch of grass, and my takeoff was a little low as a result.
The first thought that went through my head was, "I'm two inches lower than I should be." The second thought was, "My balls aren't going to clear the spikes." I was motivated enough to tilt my body forward in an effort to at least save my nuts. The third thought was, "Those spikes are going to go straight up my-"
That was the last thought I had before the spikes went straight up my *** and I landed, pulling the stake out of the ground as I went. My friends and I then spent the next ten minutes rolling around laughing our ***es off (no pun intended), before it occurred to me to check that I was actually okay. Fortunately, there was only minimal bleeding.
...I put the clip, complete with a slow motion replay of my face progressing from >:| to |:* to D:< at the end of my blooper reel and submitted the film >_>
That was the last thought I had before the spikes went straight up my *** and I landed, pulling the stake out of the ground as I went. My friends and I then spent the next ten minutes rolling around laughing our ***es off (no pun intended), before it occurred to me to check that I was actually okay. Fortunately, there was only minimal bleeding.
Hmmm... Rectal bleeding? That's a new one. But that's what comes of doing things like that when you're not feeling good. Oh well. At least it wasn't possible to leave a scar in that particular place.=P
One time I flew, and one time I was yelled at for almost being hit by a car.
Flying sounds like fun, till you fly because a dog jumped in front of you and you were on a bike with peddle brakes and your foot slips into the front wheel. A few flips then I lost the grip on my bike and flew about 50 feet. I landed on my chin(I'm glad I wasn't wearing a helmet..), then slid about 10 ft or so down the sidewalk. You can guess how bad that was.
Now, to being yelled at for almost getting hit by a car. The rules of the road include rules for walking down a road with no sidewalk. You have to walk close to the edge and in the opposite direction of cars. Now me and my friends were walking down a sidewalkless road and saw a car coming. Like always we went from walking next to each other to walking in a line. Only the car didn't try to go around us but kept going straight only to stop about 6 inches in front of me, I was between the line and the edge of the road btw. My friends and I then gave the driver an angry look and walked through the mud around his car. He then backed up some, got out of his car, and proceeded to yell at us for walking in the street. We responded by saying the pedestrians have the right of way and that we were following the law in every way. He proceeded to yell, we laughed at him and walked away.
One day, I was riding my cycle on the streets. Suddenly, I felt someone lifted my cycle from behind and I flew in the air with my cycle doing a front flip and landing head-first! I turned around but, could not see anyone. I was not bleeding but, my head did hurt me hard.
