Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Tanka Contest Theme: Miracles Pg 19. Due: 29th
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As most of us know, the last Tanka Contest died. This is the new Tanka Contest! Ta-daaaaa!
Tanka consists of five units (often treated as separate lines when Romanized or translated) usually with the following mora pattern:
5-7-5-7-7.
The 5-7-5 is called the kami-no-ku ("upper phrase", and the 7-7 is called the shimo-no-ku ("lower phrase". Tanka is a much older form of Japanese poetry than haiku.
Rules
1) Must be original. NO PLAGARIZING ALLOWED!
2) Has to fit the Theme.
3) Submition deadline will be inforced.
4) Only one submission per user
5) The winner cannot win twice in a row.
6) The Tanka MUST be created for this contest.
Easy enough? And If you are questioning Rule #5, it is because some people may be Beastly at any type of poetry and have really good submissions every week, and I am sure that you would want to win too right? See? Fairness makes the world go round. (not really) And if you are questioning Rule #6, it is on here because if you made something beforehand, that is giving you a better chance at winning, and it isn't fair to the other participants *if any)
The Frist Theme is......
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Music! Deadline is the May 29th, 2010 Judging will be Either the 30th or 31st.
Also, Me and Thepossum will be the judges. I am the first judge, Next week will be possums. Good Luck to all!
- 203 Replies
No funny topic this time? Awww.... :P
My hands are trembling.
My breath is forced and ragged.
I can't see the end.
O suspense, I lie in wait.
I wait for you to take me.
I don't like bridges
That root only on both sides
I don't like hanging
From deathly high altitudes
I hate being suspended
ALRIGHT PEOPLE!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
LET'S GET THESE TANKAS A'ROLLIN!
Only 5 entries? D:
LETS GET LIKE 10.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh, by the way, I'm back. I will be taking the reins again as soon as Icy is done with the sub
I will enter one too. :3
In the next post thingie....
It eats at my soul
Can't help but anticipate
I do hate to wait
What to do if it is late?
I should leave this to the Fates.
____
Ta daaaaa. It faaaaails.
Hmm...Only six entries. D:
Well, it's May fifth and entries shall be closed. Judging will be posted by Saturday.
She's probably keeping it late for the suspense (pun unintended).
D: My apologies for the lateness. I had things going on all day Friday and Saturday and I had no time. D:
Expect the judging by Monday.
Bleh. My apologies, again, for the lateness. Had things going on. D:
Anyway, the judging. I hope copying and pasting from Notepad worked...
theregulator
The Haiku award
I was almost there
So close, but so far away
Door to salvation
I can hear it's pounding feet
Dragged into it's evil clutch
Hmm...this is a good poem, but I feel that it doesnât fit the theme. The first three lines fit suspense perfectly. If this were a Haiku contest, However I feel that the last two lines are from a different poem. I also donât really know what âitâ is. The flow is also off. The first three lines are great, but the last two are sort of awkward. Another good idea would be punctuation--it helps to give the poem structure. Other than this, though, this is a good Tanka. Just needs a bit of...well, something. Then it would be great.
LivingToDie
The darkness award
Running out of air,
A constant struggle with rope,
Waiting in suspense,
Only seeing complete darkness,
As my soul evaporates.
Ooooooo I really like this one. The last line....metaphorical and just whoa. The only thing I think would help is the punctuation. Try to read it as one sentence and change a comma or two to a period, maybe. But. Other than that, very good Tanka. It fits the theme perfectly and has good flow. I like it.
deathopper
The metaphor award
As your last breath and
Last words detach from your mouth.
I run your same path
As death catches up with you.
I know I won't live for long.
Whoa. First two lines = win. Detach from your mouth? Yeah, very cool. I like how you use more than one line for each thought. The poem has very good flow because of it. The only criticism I have is punctuation. The second line does not seem like it should have a period. Try to read your poem as if it were just in paragraph form and see if it still makes sense. Besides that, though, I think that this poem is great. I like the third and fourth lines--they seem very metaphorical. Very good poem. Fits the theme very well.
TackyCrazyTNT
The simplicity award
My hands are trembling.
My breath is forced and ragged.
I can't see the end.
O suspense, I lie in wait.
I wait for you to take me.
.......................Wow. This is amaaaaaazing. I said it in my head and it went easily through. No complaints. A good idea would be to use more than one sentence in a line. I find that that sometimes gets the flow even better. However the flow on this poem is good enough. It also fits the theme perfectly. I do find, however, that the poem seems simple. Simple is a good thing--it gets the point across. However a more elaborate poem is nice as well. I like this one.
Ernie15
The double meaning award
I don't like bridges
That root only on both sides
I don't like hanging
From deathly high altitudes
I hate being suspended
Wow! Iâm glad you got what I meant by âthere are a few different definitions for this.â
So....I like how you repeat âI donât likeâ twice, and change it to âI hateâ at the end. These three lines also go 5-5-7 with the syllables. I like how it repeats and then changes--it gives the poem a little extra structure. The only criticism I had--like the others--is the punctuation. More would be helpful; it would give the poem some structure and a place to rest while reading the poem.
Besides that, however, this is a very good poem. It gets kudos for using a different definition and in general itâs just great.
MoonFairy
The rhyming award
It eats at my soul
Can't help but anticipate
I do hate to wait
What to do if it is late?
I should leave this to the Fates.
Whoa. Wicked rhyming, Moon. I wish I could rhyme. D: Hm....This is a very good Tanka. It fits the theme very well. I also like the reference to the Fates. Very cool. The two things that could be better: punctuation and sentences. Some more punctuation would be nice. Maybe have one idea, one phrase stretched out over two lines. But besides those two things, the poem is great! Your vocabulary is good. The speed of the poem changes a lot, which makes it sound more interesting. It also fits the theme amazingly. Love it!
Now I have to pick a winner, don't I? Darn. These were all so good....The winner is MoonFairy. When I read your poem in my mind, it was so smooth. And you easily portray suspense as being somewhat torturous. You show how suspense really affects you. And I like it.
So yeah, Moon = winner.
And now I think it shall be Moon picking the theme.
Do I detect a hint of sarcasm? I know the first two lines weren't good I didn't have any other idea.
So what's the next theme?
Oh darn accidentally clicked submit and didn't finish.
Anyway, what I meant is.
So what's the next theme? *Thinks*
So what's the next theme?
Icy:
And now I think it shall be Moon picking the theme.
Going to have to wait for her to see this thread.
Going to have to wait for her to see this thread.
Oh hush up, darling.
I was incredibly surprised that I won. That is nifty
Thanks to all who contributed and all that jazz
Theme tiiiiiiiiime!
SODA POP!
Deadline is NEXT FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have fun with this one!
Yay! New theme! Yay!
Since I'm very bored right now, I'll be thah first to post a tanka. If someone ninjas me I will eat his or her soul.
I drink the acid
It's soaking through my tastebuds,
A sweet elixir
Marketed to small children,
They will squeal, and I will hide.
I'm a horrible baby-sitter. :P
I go to the store
to buy a drink that will please
my dad. He's picky.
Soda has a tone of choices.
Dr. Pepper! He likes that.
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