ForumsArt, Music, and WritingYet another Story Idea -MoonFairy Inspired by Exit Path

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MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

My elemental ninjas are coming soon people, don't fret. But The new game, Exit path, is so aweomse, ima going to base a little story or book from it. Fo shizzle.



"T46 9015! It is your chance for Freedom! Come, Show us that you deserve it! Pass through our tests and you will be free!" The Voice said from the Speaker. I looked around as they called my name. All of us, just pawns in a cruel game of cat and mouse. We all knew it, but we didn't want to face it. A few of the new Runners gave me looks of envy. If only they new that they would die if their name got called. I rose from my seat, and with an emotionless face, walked through the door.

I was greeted by a machine. Another emotionless thing, but not alive as we runners were. How I envied it.
"T46 9015, please continue into the stadium. I am sure that you will be the one to win and be set free! Good Luck and do your best!" The cold silver machine said. All of us in waiting had heard the excact same thing as the others left. We could hear it through the door way, and we knew it was Death, bekoning for us.

I walked through the next door, where a bright light was shined on my pale blue face, and I heard thousands laughing, screaming, clapping, whistling. It was not cheerful. It was cold and cruel. I stood before them, on a platform, and I refused to show any emotion. The platform started moving towards another platform, and I knew I was to see hundreds more. I looked behind me, at the door, and I saw the grim faces of my fellow people looking at me as I left.

The platform quit moving as it reached the other one, and not too far, I saw the spikes and axes. But I showed no fear. I don't think I ever will again. Don't give them a reason to suspect you. F49 1506 told me. It is possible to leave, just never let them see that you have feelings, and they will let you pass, then you must run faster than you ever have before

How much hope is there? He was the One that left. He got out somehow. Who knows what he had to face. When the Humans carried him back through the door, he yelled it to everyone.
The Humans procceded to dump him on the floor and withouht mercy, one of the Humans beat him till he quit trying to stand. "This is a bad runner. Do not listen to him, he speaks lies to you all. You can be freed as long as you finish through the stadium! Then you must complete a last test and you are free to go wherever you want!" The Human said. He had cold blue eyes and shaggy black hair.

But the other Human I was more interested in. He had soft green eyes with brown streaks. Like the eyes of my People. He had golden hair, with darker streaks. As my child self looked at him, and he looked at me, I saw a struggle in his heart. His eyes faltered and he looked away. "Zhe shekai sei?" I questioned the man. The blue eyed Human looked at me, and took out his knife. I ran to the corner of the room and curled in a ball. "Nei! Nei! Shoni baiya!" I screamed.
The Human grabbed my arm and sliced downward. "Zhe Uaimaiga!" I yelled at the man.

"Rhe shika bai nei sie." The Human spat at me. I stared at the other Human and gave him a pleading look. "Was that neccesary Sean?" The Human asked.
"Oh, so now you have pity for them John? God Damn!" The Human named Sean told the other Human.
"Lets just go. Get rid of F49 1506, and we are done." The Human named John said.

John looked at me and handed me a bandage as Sean took out a gun. "Zhe shekai di John?" I asked. "Hai. Zhe shekai di..?" John asked. I smiled and said "Daiyama." John smiled back at me and helped wrapped my bandage. "Daiyama, Yaloe." John said when he finished. "Yaloe." I responded. He looked over his shoulder then covered my ears. I heard a muffled gunshot and looked at my old friend. His name wasnt F49 1506, it was Sheimagya. But the Humans didn't care about that. I ran to him and yelled "Sheimagya! Nei!" But John pulled me away. "Sh sh. Go back now Daiyama." He whispered.

I looked at the nicest Human I had ever met as the other Human sean walked away. John waved at me, and I looked at him through tears. I tried to wave back, but I couldn't. I ran back to Sheimagya and his eyes fluttered for a moment. In our language he told me "They always forget our hearts are on the other side." He told me with a weak grin.



SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?! I hope this isn't stealing... I will ask the Real John on his profile if it is alright that I use his idea. Yeah so I just typed this up out of nowhere. No editing, no nothing. This is PURE Storyline. What do ya think? I will update whe I type my elemental ninja story later next week. Please be honest. (but not mean)

  • 43 Replies
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

lmfao Fallen.

I think I might update it, but I am just swamped with trying to figure out Gantics latest. I'll add a quick short short short update.

I died.

lol jk nah here it is.

"John?" I stood stunned.
"Yes, but you must listen to me. Do not go out that way. You need to follow me if you really want freedom." He said quickly.
"How can I trust you? You are Human! Evil, all of you! Killers." I shouted, suprised by my own emotion.
"I know you shouldn't trust me. But I don't want you to die like the rest of them. There are others out there. That escaped. I'm not sure where, but I know you will find them." John said, looking regretful.
"I will follow you. But be cautious John. If you mislead me, there are plenty of death traps for you to slip in." I said with venom.
I could not believe my own words. I had never felt such hate towards anyone or anything before. Why would I say that to John? The only kind Human? There was a nauseous feeling in my gut, and I warily followed John past the sign marked freedom. He took me to a set of stairs and faced me.
"There isn't enough time for me to explain. There really are Runners that escaped. I supposed to plant this," John took a small, thin, black box from his pocket and showed me, "on you so you can lead Humans to the escaped Runners. I don't want to, but I have to. You can however dump it somewhere later on. Just make sure you get far away from here." John said with a sad look in his eyes.
"Why are you telling me?" I asked, suddenly calm again.
"Because I know that you are also people too. You have emotions like Humans do."
"Why would you help me?"
"Because I am one of you."
"Wait, John..." I started, but John cut me off.
"There is not enough time! Go, and if I ever get out of here, I will tell you. Go up these stairs, out the door, and jump down. Get at least 500 feet away from here and you are in the clear. Remember to dump the Tracker later on, whatever you do, Do not come back here." John said, giving me a push up the stairs.
"Zaloe John." I said softly as I turned and ran up the stairs. I swore I heard tears through his voice as he muttered it back.

_____________________________

Alrighty, He is gone from the Stadium place, and on his own now. I have no clue what happens next, so stick around. I plan on updating later 2moro too hopefully. Tell me what you think! I know it isn't the greatest update, but its all I got.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

exit path for me was = buncha hormone pumping 13-14 year olds cussing each other out and screaming "noob" ect. so I stopped playing it

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,816 posts
Peasant

You should come back Dan, it's really fun when you get to play with adult people.
And yeah Moon, Gantitudinal platitudes are totally fascinating. Now I don't have the time to read your update *now*, but it'll be done soon enough don't worry.
By the way, new drawing on my thread, I'm doing advertising ^^.

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

most frustrating 20 minutes ever spent on uniplayer ever. did it from start to fin

and also got me sum awesum kudos points! 15 matches 1 win roflcopters. that game is really difficult. and my macbook heats up super fast too :\\

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Ehhhh. Should I quit this? Not like it's really any good anymore... The idea has faded from my mind already... so it doesn't have the 'soul' it did before... BLEH I LOVE BUT HATE WRITING! I like to write, but I hate having to actually FINISH it! grrrrrr. T T

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

I am going to revive my old thread. How pitiful...
All of the newbies just now seing it, read through it and tell me whatcha think please! I will probably update within the next hour or so. Stay tuned!

Zaork
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Zaork
439 posts
Nomad

I think it's great!
I recognize the levels too which is a kudos to your descriptive skills. (see what I did there?)
Not pitiful at all with material such as this.
Keep Writing!

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

That is inspiring. I think I might advertise about this. lol ty

CommanderDude7
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CommanderDude7
4,689 posts
Nomad

Personally I loved exit path so anything written about it gets my stamp of approaval. Zaork was right about the levels nice description. Continue so we can find out what happens next.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

That is the thing.,... I dunno what to add next. I will try my best to get some ideas drawn out, but it will probably be later on in the day that I actually update it. so.. yeah

escartian
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escartian
780 posts
Nomad

This is pure awesomeness (in the fan fic world)
I liked the idea but you can't get a good story out of the game...

Thalizar
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Thalizar
1 posts
Nomad

Hey MoonFairy,

I saw this post a while ago, when I first found out about Exit Path. I saw your post about a fan-fic story and thought about how awesome it would be to write one.

I started this about 5 months ago, then got bored of it and went back to it last night and finished it today. It's only 5 pages long in MSWord and doesn't contain ALL the features of Exit Path but I think it does the job:

(PS. I too used the idea of "John" and now realise why you did, he's the creator of the game! Anyway, enjoy)

Exit Path

The lights flickered down the hallway, I looked around my room, a bed and a table with a light on it were all that had kept me sane. I hadnât always known the room, but I couldnât remember not knowing it. All I knew was that today was the day.

The door shot up. A man stood there; I knew him.
âHello, you know what happens today donât you? Today you get your freedom.â
I nodded, I had always thought of freedom. What was outside the small room I knew?
âHere I want you to have thisâ John said, handing me a small black box; he continued, âItâs a map â" it will show you your freedom. Now get out of here and to the city!â I nodded again and looked down at the box. It was small enough to fit in my palm but for some reason I had a feeling of absence. I felt like I didnât need the box to escape, but I held onto to it desperately. John turned to leave; back down the hallway from where he had arrived, but before he did, he whispered something in my ear. Something I knew would keep me going.

The hallways were long and bleak. The blindingly white room I had left was in deep contrast to the darkness of the corridors. Lights flickered, but it wasnât enough for me to see my path. It didnât matter though; the passages were long and straight, nothing leading off them. There was only one way.

I was running, so fast I didnât realise the wall in front of me. Until I hit it. Lights all around me suddenly came on and I could see everything in my way. The wall I had hit was only 3 feet tall so I easily climbed over it, but when I had another one confronted me, this one slightly taller. I clambered over the top and landed on the other side. I felt as if they were testing me. Another small jog and I arrived at a revolving door. I walked through it carefully and as I did a large sign above me lit up. It was black with white writing on it; it had the words âWelcome Runner, Your Runner ID is RH69VPRX. Your completion of this series of obstacles will result in your releaseâ¦â written boldly over. The words continued in smaller print, but I couldnât read them.

I continued onwards, through low lit corridors and alleyways. I looked ahead and saw light, Freedom. I ran ahead. I knew, finally, my escape had come. John was right! I would soon be in the city!

The light grew larger, the exit was growing.

I sprinted through the door and arrived at my âfreedomâ. It was not as I had expected. The lights from the city were far from sight, instead of a beautiful city of hope I saw my own peril. As if something from a nightmare I was threatened by deadly saws that spun below me. A large sign above me, a lot like the former hung from walls. It called out to welcome me. Spotlights all around shone at me and the cold ground I stood on seemed to be familiar of that which the walls were made of in my cell. I was confused, but as I took a step forward, cheering and shouting was all to be heard. I could not see those hollering but they gave me a sense of invigoration. I knew the city was further on. I had to get there, for John, for myself.

I took my leap of faith over the saw below me, I looked down for a second and it felt as if time itself had slowed. The blade spun forcefully and I could see how close I was to it.

I looked up again to see my direction as I landed on the floor after the saw. I hadnât noticed before but I seemed to be outside. I couldnât remember ever being outside before. The air tasted so good. I stood there on the cold ground. I realised I seemed to be suspended in the air and as I walked a few meters further forward I saw the edge of the platform I was standing on. Reinforced by bars that attached themselves to the building I had escaped from they seemed so high above the ground below me.

After taking in what was around me, I looked ahead, a new obstacle stood in my way. An axe swinging from a ledge tried to block my path. It was succeeding. The cheering pressured me into continuing the route and I took a few uneasy steps forward. There was a clear rhythm to the axeâs swinging and I knew I had to make my steps count. If I didnât, they would be my last.

The swinging continued and I prepared myself to run. The axe swung; close to me, and then further away, close, far, close, far, close, far, close. I ran. I didnât think twice about it, I didnât know why I had chosen that specific time either, but I knew I had to go. As I ran past it I could feel it near me, but I had to keep going.

I had made it past the obstacle but as soon as I had another stood in my way. Saws above me and spikes below, there had to be some way past the treacherous path. I stood at the lip of the ledge and thought my plan through. It didnât seem likely I would survive, nor that I would even get past the saws circling above my head. I looked out. Further than the spikes was a small device. It seemed springy, like a trampoline. I knew what I had to do.

I took a few steps back, making sure I didnât carelessly walk into the axe I had just dodged, prepared myself and sprinted of the edge of the ridge aiming for the mechanism. Once again time slowed. My hair was so close to the saws it felt as if it was being hacked off. I ignored the sensation. My feet were tingling; a voice inside me was screaming and shouting. It was loud and deterring and threw a sense of absolute fear upon me. The voice continued to screech until I hit the spring. It was instantly replaced with a soft, soothing voice. It reassured me. It made me feel safe. It made me feel like everything was going to be alright. I sat myself down on the trampoline I had landed on. A tear dripped from my eye; a drop of sadness and relief simultaneously. It was a strange feeling.

I jumped from the trampoline and walked towards the end of the course. I had walked nothing but a few yards and another sign light up above me. Like the otherâs before it had plain white writing on a pitch black board. It reminded me of the city; a small essence of light in a bleak world. The sign mentioned me again. It read, âEveryone please congratulate RH69VPRXâ¦â the words continued in slightly smaller text, ââ¦on successfully completing the course set upon by the officiants of such courses, in doing so freeing this individualâs mortal lifeâ. Once again there was smaller text I couldnât read.

Another building stood tall and dominating in front of me. A small door enticed me in. I staggered towards it, tired from my recent trials. I twisted the handle and stepped into the doorway.

I closed the door behind me. I felt as if I had been in one large circle. I found myself in more austere and dismal corridors. The lighting was dim, as it was in the other building. I felt sad. The city seemed so far away. I slumped down against a wall and as I did something slipped out of my palm; the map. I couldnât see it let alone read it so I crammed it into my pocket. I didnât want to lose it. It did seem to however to give me a sense of aspiration. I felt as if I could do this.

In the darkness it was hard to tell how long one had walked. I felt so tired. I tripped suddenly and realised there was a staircase. I climbed them and found myself in front of a turnstile. I walked through it. Piercing sirens flashing lights bounced off the walls around me. A pulse of panic flowed through me; my eyes darted around the room, looking for what I had done or what was going to happen. As the sirens continued another sign above me light up. Slowly 5 letters flickered on, one after the next. A. U. D. I. T. I looked ahead, doors automatically shut at a tremendous speed, and my freedom suddenly seemed so far away.

I sat at the turnstile. I couldnât go on. There was another path to the test rooms, but after dealing with what I had just left I couldnât go on to do more. The sirens were giving up too; their wails quieter than when they first went off and the lights, still flashing but not with such a rush. As I sat there I wondered what would have happened if John hadnât let me from my chamber. Would I have been happier? I couldnât say. I stood up again, thinking through my options. Stay here, alone with the sirens and the lights, head back to my cell or continue into the unknown.

I thought my options through carefully for what seemed hours. The sirens had turned off now and only the lights gave off a pleasant red light. Without the wails it seemed nicer; a calming, warm radiance to the sorrowful room. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the paper in there. I looked at the map John had given me. It was quickly sketched, as if he was in a rush when he did it, as if he was hiding when it was done. I didnât explain a lot of the structure of the buildings or the way I should attempt to go, it did however say how far I would be from the city at certain points. It also explained the dilemma of the dangers I had and will face .I decided to continue. I walked down a staircase, away from the lights and the silent sirens and treaded towards the audit.

The light was blinding, I couldnât see for a while. When my eyes did adjust to the room, I found myself in a room that contrasted the one before. The walls were a blinding white, as were the lights and the floor. Even the sign I stood next to that read, âTest A. 1 of 4â was a light grey text on a dazzling white board. The irony of the room stood clear. Even though it looked and acted as a test chamber, the purity of the colours extremely differed to the objects in the room. Saws, axes and spikes were plastered around causing a true test of my skill.

I found myself dodging obstacles at an alarming rate. I didnât know what was coming next, nor did I know what I was doing it. All I knew was that I could die. Saws spun vigorously, their blades cleaned and ready to shred. Axes swung in beat with one another as if reciting some demonic routine. Spikes stood tall on the ground and hanging from the ceilings, this was an existent nightmare.

After clearing one room I found myself in another, then another and then another, each room more deadly than the former. My body and mind were being tested to such limits I felt as if I couldnât control myself. It was a unfamiliar feeling.

Finally I had reached the end of the fourth room. The audit was behind me. I walked through another exit to another corridor once again pitch black apart from the sign hanging above me. I was confused why so many signs were used. I assumed it was because no one would come to greet me. To be honest I wouldnât have wanted anyone to greet me. This sign read, âThank you for your participationâ. I continued to read the sign, âYour arrival at this point confirms your skill in the stadium challenge you have been issuedâ¦â my eyes lit up as I maintained reading, ââ¦Continue to the next room to proceed to the exit path.â I was free. One more room and I was free. I picked up my pace and sprinted through the door ahead of me.

I ran and ran, looking for the light. I slowed at another sign, this one a lot smaller than the others. All it told me was my direction and all it read was one word, âfreedomâ. I took a few steps forward feeling apprehensive. Each step I took made me feel closer to freedom, closer to the city. My body tingled with happiness and I felt good.

I continued to walk to my freedom. I stepped slowly. Without warning lights flickered on. I tripped due to shock and my foot slipped off a ledge. Below me were saws; hundreds of them, all taking me to my âfreedomâ. I struggle for breath as I pulled myself back up. A larger sign was light up now covered in blood. I couldnât read the original writing. All that I could see was the crimson blood that said âThere is no freedom!â followed by an arrow that pointed up a staircase I hadnât noticed in the darkness. I felt distraught. There is no freedom? John had lied? I denied the thought and shook it out of my head. I clambered up the staircase and into another passageway.

As I arrived in this new room, a long, dismal space that made me feel small. A large glass window that spanned the length of the room replaced a wall. I looked through it and saw a horrid sight; thousands of corpses being pushed down a conveyor belt. These people were obviously those who had not survived the gauntlet I had triumphed over. I took a few seconds to pray for them. On my right was a single sign that carried an arrow that pointed back to the route I had come from. Three words were written on it, âTo Runner Exterminationâ. A sudden sense of realisation poured through me. This wasnât a test it was a slaughter house. People werenât meant to make it to the city.

I stood there for a while, contemplating but soon knew I had to keep going. I had survived and I wasnât going to let John down. I ignored the picture of horror beside me and continued onwards. More rooms with the same unspeakable design and picture followed the first. I kept my eyes away from the bodies next to me. I couldnât accept how many there were.

A final door stood in front of me. A strange image of a man running through a door hung above it. I walked through it, not sure of what would happen. I did so and no alarms went off nor did any lights. I was free.

I stepped outside to my freedom. It was night time. I began my walk towards the city. I had walked for what seemed a few miles when I found myself below an immense sign. Red lights flashed above it and sirens hollered around. It easily attracted my attention and I read it, âCITY LIMITS AHEADâ. I smiled; it was a smile of hope. I continued to read, âProtection mechanisms ahead, turn back for risk immediate death.â My smile faded; all of a sudden the city seemed so far away once again.

I continued to walk past the sign and soon found myself below another one. This one read â400 feet away from city limitsâ. It then continued in smaller text that I couldnât read. A wave of mixed emotions flowed through me. I felt so excited; I was nearly at the city, but at the same time, so afraid.

I could see the city far away. It was the horizon. Its length grew to the extent of my vision; its lights, glowing beacons of aspiration. It was my goal and it was my ambition. I continued onwards. I soon reached another sign that read, â300 feet away from city limitsâ. I thought it were strange how these signs told me every hundred feet that I was closer. I continued onwards, until another sign came upon me and then another, each time counting down the distance.

After a short while I found myself under a sign of great majesty. It was bold and strong and it read, âThe Cityâ. It then continued to tell passer-byâs the population count and the elevation of the city. I gave off a smile of joy and ran to it.

I ran and ran and ran until suddenly I ground myself to a halt. In front of me was a barrier. Saws spun at such a rate it seemed impossible to pass, axes swung at such random times it was hopeless to know when to move. I was at the city limits, so close, yet so far away.

I stood there, shocked at what was ahead of me. I didnât know what to do, I looked around for something or someone to help me and as I did, I felt something in my pocket. Something I had forgotten about; the map. I pulled it out of my pocket and studied it carefully. Sadly there was nothing, still the saws spun and the axes swung before me. It was make or break. Live or die.

I ran.

The wind rushed past me, flowing through my hair. My blood pulsed around my body, pushing itself to my skin. The saws revolved around and around, the axes swung at speeds unbearable. I ran and ran. They were so close to me. So close.

I skidded to a halt. I had survived. The saws continued their circle and the axes still swung, but they werenât a threat anymore. I was at the city. I stood there looking at what I had triumphed over and a thought rushed through my head.

âMan is free the moment he wishes to be.â

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