Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Pearl of life chronicles

I've decided try making a story, since lot of people were doing this, and it would also be a great way to practice my writing skills.

Try to comment, so I could make the story better.
Oh, my characters haven't got any name yet, can you give one male japanese name, and another female japanese name?


Chapter I: The country of cloth.

A black figure appears in the room, carrying with him a sword. He paused and said:

"The time has come!"

It was a warm and yellow Thursday morning. A gravely wounded teenager wakes up in a dirty bed in a tent, not knowing who, or where he is. Having difficulty, he peeks to his left, and saw a lovely maiden nursing him. With the teenager's lips, he asks the maiden "Where am I? Who am I?" Upon hearing these, a man goes outside from the tent, and with the maiden's soft voice, she said "We found you at the old shrine of the Taketsugu". The teenager did not recall this, so he asked the maiden "Do you know, Who I am?"

The maiden gave her sad nod.

The teenager rested on the pillow of the bed, the maiden continuing nursing him. Outside, he heard loud noises, then a man wearing a robe with a staff came to him and said "Can you name yourself child?". The teenager said no, and he asks if the man if he was his father. "No, I am the country's priest. We have found you on the old shrine of Taketsugu, you were lying there unconscious. It was good we found you at the right time, the Reed clan was going to destroy it." The man said. The teenager then asks the maiden " Who Are you?" The maiden then introduces herself as the princess of the country.

The man(priest) then goes outside of the tent, and to a beautiful palace. He goes through many rooms until he finally reaches the throne. "My lord, It is truthfully miraculous, you daughter really has a lot of magical power within her. The boy's bones were fixed, and his muscles regenerated. If it weren't for the princess, the boy would have died.". The king then spoke to the priest "Does the boy know himself and what was he doing in the shrine?". "Apparently my lord, the boy does not remember anything.".

The king stands and tells the priest to go to the royal chamber.
"Do you think he is the one?" The king says with both truth and fear into his eyes. " I do not know my lord, but if he is, I think the princess is ready.".

....the king then said " But I'm not "....

"The resonance of the moon, the alignment of the stars, the rise of the sun. If it happens all at the same time, I am...." "Silence Priest" The king suddenly interrupts the priest.

The teenager then looks at the maiden again, "You are the princess? If you are, why are you nursing me? I thank you princess."
The princess then said "The priest says that I have incredible magical power, that is why I am the one that heals you. No one could heal you if it weren't for me."
"Then that means you are my savior. Thank you again."

I'd be updating as soon as I can.