It was a warm day in June when my friend informed me of a party he was throwing that night. While I originally declined quite amicably he began to question my sexuality, and therefore I was obliged to attend, or at least make a cameo appearance. That night I stood against a wall in his living room, making an attempt to appear far superior to everyone else in order to avoid any human contact. However, that night, I would not succeed. I had done a fine job for roughly the first hour of the party, yet unfortunately this is when people become quite amicable, is you know what I'm saying (They're plastered). It was then that I was approached by Haley. Despite her inebriation she managed to maintain her posture with seemingly relative ease, though her speech was noticeably slurred. Yet I could not have cared less if she had been vomiting on my poorly chosen leather shoes. She was beautiful. I began feeling guilty that this girl was hitting on me, while being completely sober. I had no intentions of taking advantage of her, so I did the same thing any upstanding member or society would have done. I helped her to a seat and retrieved her a glass of water, then proceeded to excuse myself from the party, feeling I'd been present quite long enough to be remembered the following morning. Just kidding, I downed six shots of vodka in rapid succession and went right back to flirting with her, yet now my conscience was clear. Short story long, we talked for most of the night. At some point we tried to escape the noise by relocating to a bedroom upstairs. I must admit, my recollection is not flawless and much of this is all muddled together. What I do know though, is that over the night we came progressively closer. I awoke the next morning intertwined with Haley knowing exactly what I had done last night. Her. And I didn't regret it one bit, at least not then. The follow few days were relatively uneventful. They consisted mostly of gaming stints, Cheetos, and a fair amount of Facebook stalking. It was probably about a week after that night before I once again spoke with Haley. Notice how I said "spoke", and not "saw". She was pregnant, and the list of possible fathers was extremely short. Needless to say, I told that b*tch to GTFO and played three hours of Counter-Strike.
