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he caused the big bang.

Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
He can win Tic-Tac-Toe in two moves and Connect 4 in three
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

he doesnt own a watch, HE decides what time it is.

he once kicked a rock so hard it went into space and split in 2.

the 2 rocks are now pluto and it's moon.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

chuck norris owns no oven,fire,or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold

chuck norris is the first person on all the planets

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.