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Unfortonatly, a hacker demoted all the Moderators.

fortunately one of the moderaters who was called cave johnson burned down the hackers house with combustible lemons.

Unfortunately the combustible lemons detonated carrot juice all over the mod, which he was allergic to.

Fortunetly there was a combat medic nearby.

Unfortunately, he was hit by basketball-sized hail.

Fortunately, there was an alien power core in the hailstone, causing the combat medic to evolve intoa demi-god-like healing spirit.

Unfortunately, the government doesn't like alien demi-god-like healing spirits.

Fortunately, a racist group of pastarfarianists needed someone to fix their pirate suits, so they hired him.

Unfortunately, he did a crappy job of it.

Fortunately, he healed the union leader, so he didn't get fired, and actually got a raise.

Unfortunately, it was a raise of -$5trillion.

Fortunately, the universe suddenly disappeared.

Unfortunately, that's not fortunate at all.

Fortunately, it is. This game is ended. No universe, no game.

Unfortunately (for you, that is), there's endless amounts of parallel universes thanks to quantum theory.