'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
I feel the need to vomit when this movie is mentioned. In my opinion it has no place as an Indiana Jones movie. George Lucus is a movie menace, he can't leave things alone. Between him and Spielburg I'm sure to get an annurism from watching the crap they've produced lately. However, let me give you a detailed explaination as to why this movie is so horendous.
PlotNow, the Indiana Jones movies have never been the type for sticking to reality, and I can respect that, because the movies are often intriguing and have some historical significance. Now, at first glance Crystal Skull does stick to this historical theme, however as the plot progresses it becomes increasingly absurd. Dark magic for mind control I can accept, it fits nicely with the whole archeology trend the movies run. However, unknown magnetic alien skull? No. Not only doesn't it fit nicely, we're treading into science fiction which isn't what these movies are supposed to be.
RealismNow, like I said before, I'm not too picky on Indiana Jones movies for their realism, however, most of the more interesting moments have some type of explaination to support how, or why they happened. The Holy Grail healing Henry Jones Sr, for instance. Well, it's the Holy Grail, it works miracles, it fits. The problem is when Lucus takes us for a loop and makes us watch Indiana Jones survive a nuclear blast in a lead lined fridge. >.> even movie science should be that bad! Oh and the rocket sled icident as they leave Area 51? I'm sorry, but there's only so much you can stretch before it just becomes obviously impossible.
Historical ContextWhere to begin? They just turned the movie into a sci-fi run and gave the audience the finger and then dared us to complain. Those who aren't educated in the history of the Mayan civilization can be somewhat forgiven, however, even then you should have noticed that they threw the history out the window. The thing that made Raider of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade, so interesting was the fact they had some historical foundation. The only history this movie has it the Cold War and a Mayan crystal skull. The rest is utter crap.
End CommentsI won't hate you for liking this movie, but I'll be forced to question your sanity. This movie doesn't even remotely stay close to the originals, kind of like Lucus's work with the second half of the Star Wars Saga (big surprise there). This movie is trash, and an offense to what was so great about the classics. There is no historical context, movie science of the worst kind, and aliens that look a lot like E.T. And let's not forget a Russian's eyes burst into flames at the end.
Rating1/10
Honestly I'd rather watch Epissode 1 than be scarred by this again.
