Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → [req] My story called The penguins problem
To armor games my Christmas gift and to all the people past and present in my life
There once was a village of penguins. No ordinary village, but one that was very, very advanced. There leader was Freeze. This bird was a good bird that treated everyone with respect. He was the mind that made the village so advanced. He soon grew old and fragile. He had to give his reign up to his evil son named Ice. Ice was a devil-ish that thrived on chaos. Freeze said," Son, you got to take over my reign. I know you will change many things about the village but make it for the better okay?" Ice said," Sure, whatever. If I do what you want me to do then fine.I'll be just as happy if I don't do it also." Then Ice turns away very quickly. Leaving the sight of his father. He knew the days of his father's reign was numbered, and he didn't to spend more time then he ever does with his father.
The next day was like any other day. It was cold, wet, and snowing. Freeze was feeling kind of tired, so he laid down. He also knew his time was nearing also. He called his friends and family close so he could leave in peace. Freeze said,"My time is now. I'm glad I knew you all in some way. You all been good friends to me. Thank you. Bye." He closed his eyes. Having only a few more short breaths he passed away. He lived 17 penguin years. That is 97 human years. All his friends and family were sad except for one. That family member was Ice. He said very quietly,"Finally, that old bird is gone. Hmm, I wonder why my poison did not work all those years earlier, but I still get to take over his reign, haha!"
Just a week later Freeze's funeral. Everyone was there. Ice was mumbling about how happy he was. The ceremony starts, but someone walks in waring a dark cloak. The cloaked figure has never been seen. The figure asked, "Is this Freeze's funeral?" to a friend of Freeze's. The friend could only reply with a mix of cries and gasps for air but she managed to choke out,"Ye-ye-yes i- it i-i-is" The figure takes off its hood to show its a her. She walks up to the front of the room and says,"Most of you do not know me, but I am Icy. Freeze knew me very well. I am here to help his son with his reign. Oh and sorry for interrupting." Icy soon walks and sits in the back of the room. The funeral soon ends. Ice runs out of the room planning his revenge. Yet still thinking about Icy in the picture. The true questions is why revenge.
Ice is working in his workshop constructing a cruel plan against Icy and Freeze. He is mumbling to himself about what he is doing. Ice mumbled," Hey, what if i use this in my trap. Wait no! I should use this instead. No. Well I don't know. Oh I got it!" Ice points to a shiny a dusty box on a shelf. "My trap will work!" Ice busily starts working with the contents of the box, some scissors,and a long rope."Mwhahaha, Icy will not stand a chance!"
Ice walks out with the objects that he was working with, but he drops a small piece of paper. Icy walks by, and she finds the piece of paper. She reads out loud,"Box contains strong magnet, iron polls, and a metal loop attached to a large metal plate." Icy walks to her house and says," What is Ice planning with this box full of junk? Well I can figure this out in the morning because its now dark."
Some time during the night,Without Icy hearing, Ice set to work outside her front door. He opens the box and takes out the iron bars. "Now how does these bars connect together? Oh I see they go in the holes in this here metal plate." Ice puts all bars in the holes. "Yes this is looking correct now, and I need to tie this rope on this loop. Oh and I got to glue the scissors to the roof." said Ice. He goes and glues the scissors on the roof, and i need to tie the other end of the rope to the chimney. Yay, my trap is is now complete. I need to get to sleep on the roof" Ice soon falls asleep on top of the roof.
In the morning Icy walks to the front door and opens it. Ice stirs on the roof running to the scissors that are going to cut the rope releasing the cage capturing Icy in her tracks. Icy stands in the place right above the trap. Ice cuts the rope. The cage falls, but to Ice it looks like its barely moving. Suddenly there was a loud clang! Was Icy caught or bringing up her knife in rage? Icy said,"How dare you put me in this cage? When I get out you better run!" "Ha ha you will never stop me from destroying his town!" said Ice. "Wh-wha-what are you going to do to me?" said Icy. "Well I am going to drag your cage into your room and live here for awhile." said Ice. "So you don't want me to crash your plan for making the village chaotic?" asked Icy. Ice stutters," Erm, Um, well, Yes basically," Icy says,"Well that's it?"
Ice hesitates then says," Why are you making my plan be stupid?" Icy yells,"Well because it is!" Ice walks out mad and yells,"How dare you say that I will prove you wrong just try to get out!" Icy tampers with the cage and here is a telltale click and a small whirring sound starts. The bars on the cage move up but a transparent purple fore field shows up. "What is that!" Icy yells. she walks up to the force field and sticks her had right through it. She does the same thing with her knife but it hits the force field and sticks. "Hmmm what is the catch to this. Oh I know its an magnetic force field!" She said looking at the piece of paper. She sets down her knife and all her other metal things in the cage and walks out of the house.
Meanwhile Ice ran to the city square. He walked up the steps of the mayors building and yelled," People of our town I have a few laws a would like to make and or change." The people of the town gathered around. The snow soon fell faster. "My first change is that my new money. Instead of the Pengu coin its the Ice Bill. You have to do nearly impossible tasks to change in your money." The towns people yelled," Well that's not fair. The money was fine as it was! Why?" Ice kept going,"The second thing I will add is that you have to start living hear all over again. Meaning that you have to re-buy your houses and reapply for your jobs." A little girl named Maknae walks to the front and says,"Now I am sad Mommy and Daddy do not have jobs and I don't have a place to sleep. Where am I going to go?" Ice replies,"Well your going to live on the streets unless your parents can buy your house back!" "Oh." She says holding back tears then running to her mom. "For my final change, I will make you come to me if you want to go anywhere or do anything. These new laws take affect right now. You can keep everything you can fit into a suitcase and the rest will be mine. Go home and pack your one suitcase now." Ice said coldly. He soon walks into the mayor building.
Icy runs to the town square to find everybody running back to there homes. Icy asks Maknae's Dad,"Why is everyone going to there house?" He replies,"Well Ice created new rules and they are: you have to buy your house again, reapply for your job, the money change, and if you want to do anything you have to ask him if your aloud to do that." "Wow tough rules. I might need some help taking him down can I have your daughter help me?" Maknae says," Please Daddy. Please let me help. Please." "Okay." he says with only slight hesitation. Icy grabs Maknae's hand and walks into the mayor building.When they just get inside Icy says to Maknae,"You cause a distraction so Ice leaves his office and I will sneak in and use the loudspeakers to tell the town what to do. Okay?" "Yes." She replies nodding her head. Icy hides around the corner. Maknae walks past Ice's office and fake trips. "Ouch!" she wails that quickly turns to sobs. Out runs Ice in fury yelling," Shut up! Shut up! I am trying to work here and why are you on the floor crying?" She replies still fake crying,"I f-f-fell down and h-hit my knee." "What will it take for you to shut up!" Ice says "A cookie and a band-aid for my ouchy." She said. "Okay, okay, fine come with me so i can take you to the nurse and to the lunch room for a cookie." Ice takes Maknae's hand and walks down the hall. Icy emerges from the corner and sneaks into Ice's office. Icy said into the loud speaker,"Ice is corrupted. He tried to kill his father. He wants to see you in pain. Don't abide bye his new laws. Don't even look at him. We will take this mad penguin down!" Icy walks out of the building.
Meanwhile Maknae goes to the nurse and gets the band-aid. Then to the lunch room for a cookie. She gets the cookie and runs out to her parents and Icy. The family and Icy looks around. "Hey, they all stopped going to there houses." said Maknae. "Yes, but how are we going to put this penguin to come to court to put him jail?" said Maknaes mom. Icy says after a slight moment of thinking,"The trap he put me in can trap him. He is still in his office so we can close his door then trap him when he opens it!" "Yes he needs to be brought to justice. Plus the cookies were bad." Icy and the family goes to Icy's house and takes down the trap. Ice also takes her knife and other objects from the trap The run to the mayor building and blocks Ice in his office. They soon start assembling the trap and unblock the door. Not any longer than five minutes Ice walks out with future laws in hand. Icy quickly cuts the rope with her knife releasing the cage. There was a clang. "This is my own trap that I am stuck in!" yells Ice. icy replies, "Yes, yes it is." "Let me out!" He cries. Maknae says,"That would be stupid if we do that." Icy handcuffs Ice through the cage and drags him out of the cage to the courthouse across the street.
They enter the courthouse and they press charges for holding a hostage, theft, and attempted murder. Ice proves to be guilty for all of his charges. he said that he only did these things for attention. Everyone knew it was because he didn't have anything. No house, food, or belongings. His ex-wife took them. He just wanted something to call his own. Ice has to stay in jail for the rest of his life.
Now your thinking the story just ended didn't you. Well you were right for about ten seconds until I thought there should be a twist. Now back to the story.
Icy is now elected mayor of the city and is having a party but all of the sudden the doors swing open with a loud bang. The person who opened the doors was Freeze. "Look who is back!" said Freeze. Every one turned in shock. Nearly everyone gasped. "Before any questions. I am alive and not a ghost. I knew my son tried to kill me and he wanted my job. I faked my own death. It was all a magic trick, and Icy you can keep your job." Every one in the village went on with there lives normally. Now this story has an ending.
- 24 Replies
Hey, I'm famous!
Penguins are cool.
This kept me occupied for a few minutes.
hey thanks and some 1 that is sorta famous came thanks oh and forgot to mention feedback welcome!
ahhahaha that is funny i like penguins the thing i would like to do before i die is to hug a penguin it would be fun
Yes it would be fun if this is well liked i will write another story but it has to be a 7/10
I would give it a 10/10. I really liked it!
thanks thanks so average so far 9/10
Thanks people for all of your input i would have loved alittle more criticism but thats A-OK with me the average for the rating is like a 8.9/10 so there will be another story continueing on sooner or later thanks for all the great comments
EPIC!! Did you write this? it great 9/10
Bomb yes i did write this
nice stuff I love penguins but my sister does even more
Thanks for the input the story is a 9/10
I feel REALLY bad for bringing this thread back up. I am writing another story. It is part of this series. And i named the series Cold as Ice
I don't understand how people can rate this higher than 6/10.
The story isn't coherent, the grammar was pretty... bad..
Random things happen, incomplete storyline etc.
But for your age, it's pretty normal.
I'd rate it a 5.5/10
The grammar/punctuation in this story is mediocre.
Also, you came to full stops too often within the story, you could've easily just used commas or a semi colon.
It's a random story.
................ this was a dead thread bring it up not good and other people say otherwise and matrix we dont get along so im dissmissing your comment
Thread is locked!