The rules are simple; write a short story based off of the current theme. The story should be posted in one post, keeping with the shortness, or else the judges will be confused. Also, if you would like to make multiple entries, please note which you would like to have judged. Give all stories a title.
Winners of each round will choose a theme for the next.
Nothing solid was given. The reader can only tell that it's night-time and they are sneaking into some kind of building ran by the emperor.
2/10
Plot:
The plot was there and was easy to follow. More could have been added to it and clarified though.
5/10
Characterization:
We got little insight into the characters personalities through their actions and dialogue, but that's still nothing solid. We have no idea of where they came from, who they really are, or what they look like.
1/10
Grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. :
AHH! This aspect was scary! There were numerous spelling mistakes that made it harder to read. Dialogue was punctuated improperly and your grammar wasn't the best.
4/10
Showing, not telling:
You did pretty good here. The reader was able to follow most of the scenes, but the wording could have been better to emphasize them. Try reading aloud your main scenes and make sure they "sound right". You could have also expanded the main scenes so that they included more content, were more detailed, and were easier to follow.
5/10
Concept:
The reader was able to understand and follow the main concept fairly well. It was a good idea that just should have been expanded onto.
8/10
Overview:
Watch your spelling! Expand you scenes! Explain the characters! The rest was alright to me..
~4.17/10
Thats the last of the entries thus far. I'll have my re-submittion in by the end of the weekend hopefully.
MusicMan, from the time it's taking you I would guess its gonna be really good.
It better be really good.
I hope so. The time issue is more because of my workload (VERY busy week thus far) and a family issue that occurred (hospitalized family member). I'm going to try and whip it into shape.
Sci-Fi may be one of the current raves, but I'm going to try for a traditional style kind of thing.
No offense, silver, but the theme you picked created some very bad outcomes ^.^
"Ninjas" is really vague and can go in infinite directions. Next time pick something like " ______ influencing life." or "_____ became created through.". Give a subject, but also give a direction for writers to follow.
There once was a ninja named Enahs, he had lived in a temple on top of Elbat Mountain, the surface of this mountain, unlike most mountains was completely smooth, leaving it the perfect place for a ninja to live. Enahs was a foolish ninja, but the lack of his wisdom was made up for by his swiftness and agility.
It was 5:00 in the morning, Enahs was snoring in his sleep, lying straight out on the mattress in the middle of the dark musty room. There was a knock on the door, Enahs jumped off the mattress and dived towards the door, he croaked in a hoarse voice, "Who?" Immediately a voice answered back, "It is I." Enahs opened the door, and before him stood a small, thin man with a sword clenched with his two fists. By his clothes and sword, Enahs knew it was a samurai, what a foolish mistake he had made my opening the door. Enahs swung out his hand towards the mans face, but the samurai swung his sword, and slit through Enahs' skin, blood seeping out of his wrist onto the floor. The samurai then laughed, closed the door and began venturing back down the mountain, running at top speed down the mountain, the man didn't take note of his surroundings, unfortunately for the samurai, there were several ninjas silently running behind him, advancing towards him, on the move to corner him. Enahs soaked up the blood with a piece of black cloth from his ninja suit, trying to put pressure to ease the pain of his wound. He wrapped the piece of black cloth he was holding around his wrist, and tied a knot in it to keep it in place. Back on the mountain, the ninjas had caught up with the samurai, the samurai attempted to slash them with his sword, but it was no use the ninjas blocked every swing the samurai had made. Then the samurai made a foolish mistake he aimed for one of the ninjas feet but the ninja dived out of the way and the sword stuck into the ground, while the other ninjas began to kick him. Several minutes later, the ninja was severely beaten up, his cloak tattered to shreds. The ninjas ran away quickly, laughing like kids at what they had just done. Enahs walked out of the temple and ran down the mountain in pursuit of the samurai, but he passed the other ninjas, and one of them said; "That samurai is long gone, but we took care of him", all of the ninjas began to laugh.
T_T I lost the document of the one I had half done, there's something I did in 20 minutes, it's probably a little rushed.
"Ninjas" is really vague and can go in infinite directions. Next time pick something like " ______ influencing life." or "_____ became created through.". Give a subject, but also give a direction for writers to follow.
Nah, she can say something like "Music" Or "Nature"
