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Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Tackeh's 10,000 Etchings
| 718 | 155980 |
I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!
- 718 Replies
Da Vinci is so old school, that there is no such thing as a new generation. Duuuuh.
Cool drawing, I love the juxtaposition of the two halves, unless that's just a shadow, then ignore me. Although if that is a shadow, that is a very strange shadow.
The hair is actually pretty good, it looks- natural, very few people have perfect hair. You got symmetry down this time, although it seems her left eye (my POV) is having a stroke.
Cool drawing, I love the juxtaposition of the two halves, unless that's just a shadow, then ignore me. Although if that is a shadow, that is a very strange shadow.
it seems her left eye (my POV) is having a stroke.
It is indeed a shadow. Also, I don't really know why I did that with her eye.
Roboticon, aimed at Mr. Mod Frank. (Emoticon)
I take it that's Xat or mouse art?
Haha I'm not sure if it's shocked or about to self-destruct.
I take it that's Xat or mouse art?
Xat.
And both.
I was really bored and made a drawing log of my day...if you don't like bad sketches then click somewhere else.
[i]Sometimes I wonder what it would be like
to taste another person's tears,
The culmination of their hate and spite,
Their happiness and fears.[i]
...really math? You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you're in AB Calc?
They weren't terribly bad, but you do have a thing for females with stilts for legs don't you?
Nice, poem?, I think there ought to be a comma at the end of like, and a period after tears, the phrasing seems better that way.
...really math? You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you're in AB Calc?
Yes.
They weren't terribly bad, but you do have a thing for females with stilts for legs don't you?
I was in a rush. ><
Nice, poem?, I think there ought to be a comma at the end of like, and a period after tears, the phrasing seems better that way.
Yes, I know. T.T
Anyways, here's a poem or something, inspired by Little Women.
It's sort of bad because I wrote it half on a tiny airplane with no light and half at 1 in the morning.
Once I flew above the clouds,
Content with the world below,
I passed by fields of jasmine green,
And gray Toblerones peaked with snow.
Occasionally Iâd pass some glittering glass,
And Iâd peer in between the white
Unsure if the swath was simply water,
Or some other unknown sight.
I didnât stop in my wild flight,
There was too much to be seen and said,
People would often stop and ask me if,
It was from time himself I fled.
I felt the sun so gently curl
Around my windblown, messy hair
Cradling my bones and flesh with warmth
And filling my lungs with air.
Then one day I came across
A pale tower piled high,
And I stopped to look inside
This cheerful castle in the sky.
I discovered all I ever wanted
Within this ivory palace,
Rows and rows of weathered pages,
And my own red jeweled chalice.
I found that living languidly
Suited my purposes all the same,
I spent my days waiting inside,
And a sleeping relic I became.
Sure enough Time passed me by,
But I could feel the sun no more,
My limbs got cold and colder still,
Til I couldnât rise from the marble floor.
Then one day a storm broke overhead,
Swept my castle upwards high.
And I was left beneath the sun,
Drifting alone in the great blue sky.
Also, here is some attempted 50-word flash fiction.
The sun was scorching our skin, and in the heat we got careless. My friend's dog ran across a road, a yellow blur that was halted with a screech. I saw my best friend cry for the first time then, and those tears ushered in the first rains of fall.
Blog-like things may appear.
And gray Toblerones peaked with snow.
Where exactly did you find gray chocolate bars covered in snow? -_-
While I enjoyed the narrative aspect of the poem, it lacked flow, the stanzas seemed to jump from place to place, it was very- disruptive. Also, the shift from abstract to concrete and back that took place several times, is something that I personally am not a fan of, but to each his own. Compared to what you usually write, it was pretty mediocre, but you had some really great stanzas mixed in with some that were almost prose like in nature.
Flash fiction was excellent, seems like a good basis for the start of a YA novel.
Where exactly did you find gray chocolate bars covered in snow? -_-
I was thinking of a word for mountains, and then I was hungry for Toblerones.
I was crabby and cross and just wanted to stick the word Toblerone in my poem somewhere.
My computer is telling me to change "Toblerone" to "testosterone"
While I enjoyed the narrative aspect of the poem, it lacked flow, the stanzas seemed to jump from place to place, it was very- disruptive. Also, the shift from abstract to concrete and back that took place several times, is something that I personally am not a fan of, but to each his own. Compared to what you usually write, it was pretty mediocre, but you had some really great stanzas mixed in with some that were almost prose like in nature.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this critique. It's nice to know that someone is reading my poem, not just skimming it. I'll work on the whole broken-ness of it, I think I'll start going back to my writing-every-day schedule so I get more practice in.
Kyou, my dear, I really need to give you a prize or something for actually sticking with me through all my mental poop.
Tackeh's full of talent!
I love all your drawings. They're pretty amazing.
I like writing blog-type things, but I'm too lazy to actually make a blog. Maybe someday I will.
Anyway, here is:
Tacky on Music
Music, I find, is a fascinating subject. It shifts and twists with the times, changes and evolves in the blink of an eye. It defines us, inspires us to do things both wonderful and terrible. I am sure that a great many deeds have been at least partially influenced by a few lines of lyrics, or by the thrumming of metal strings.
When I was younger, I listened to music only because I enjoyed the rhythmic beat, the occasional snippets of chorus that I could sing along to and the garbled words I didnât quite catch. My parents would have to cover their ears as I belted "Puff the magic dragon, lived by the alskdjflakjd" on the way to New Jersey. I didn't remember song names or artists, and would simply go along with whatever happened to be on at the time.
As I grew older, I started paying attention to the lyrics, though they didnât make much of an impression on me, as I had yet to discover anything other than pop music that seemed to be composed only of drinking and parties. However, it was in Junior High that I started becoming more focused towards any particular genre or band. Muse was my first love (and it still is my favorite), and I'd waste away valuable hours downloading albums, searching lyrics, and looking up touring dates in the hopes theyâd pass by my middle-of-nowhere town. I went through a similar process (though quite as deranged) with Fall Out Boy and the Killers, and recently, the Black Keys. I also learned about electronica and dubstep, though I never got much further than Skrillex and a bit of Deadmau5.
Inspiration struck with a person called Nicepeter. (If youâd just ask anyone I've recently interacted with theyâd tell you my level of obsession with this one.) I listened to his simple, earnest music, and I started wishing I could compose some tunes of my own using poems that I had previously written or some random thought burbles. Maybe someday I'll be successful with this endeavor, and will post something on here.
Another interesting thing about music is that we often form opinions about others based on their sense of music, and this view is often colored by our own musical tastes. I like to think of myself as more open-minded when it comes to the different genres of music, but I do find myself getting somewhat judgmental when confronted with the preferences of others, though that could just be my own sociopathic nature. If someone likes country, they are often held in less esteem than those who prefer classical, and alternative lovers are admired most of all. "Hipsters" and electronica enthusiasts I both respect and resent because I often canât tell if they actually like the music or are just trying to be âcoolâ and âironic.â
Music does not stop at music either. The genres of music create bands, and bands create groups, and these groups turn into something even bigger, until each element of music has its own fans and pretty soon there are band clothes, band mugs, and other labeled items. Basically, it is getting easier and easier to identify one's preference of music, and thus is easier to formulate opinions and judgments, further deepening the divides between different factions of music. I feel like I'm going in circles now, so I'll stop.
I probably should close this article with some interesting fact on the psychology of music, (it can help relieve pain; crazy huh?) or with some philosophical afterthought that makes me look intelligent and deep. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything other than the fact that my Christmas present will consist of a Muse and Nicepeter t-shirt, and that I am extremely excited over this.
Next: Tacky on Resolutions
Oh Word, how I love thee.
I like writing blog-type things, but I'm too lazy to actually make a blog. Maybe someday I will.
Anyway, here is:
Tacky on Music
Music, I find, is a fascinating subject. It shifts and twists with the times, changes and evolves in the blink of an eye. It defines us, inspires us to do things both wonderful and terrible. I am sure that a great many deeds have been at least partially influenced by a few lines of lyrics, or by the thrumming of metal strings.
When I was younger, I listened to music only because I enjoyed the rhythmic beat, the occasional snippets of chorus that I could sing along to and the garbled words I didn't quite catch. My parents would have to cover their ears as I belted "Puff the magic dragon, lived by the alskdjflakjd" on the way to New Jersey. I didn't remember song names or artists, and would simply go along with whatever happened to be on at the time.
As I grew older, I started paying attention to the lyrics, though they didn't make much of an impression on me, as I had yet to discover anything other than pop music that seemed to be composed only of drinking and parties. However, it was in Junior High that I started becoming more focused towards any particular genre or band. Muse was my first love (and it still is my favorite), and I'd waste away valuable hours downloading albums, searching lyrics, and looking up touring dates in the hopes they'd pass by my middle-of-nowhere town. I went through a similar process (though quite as deranged) with Fall Out Boy and the Killers, and recently, the Black Keys. I also learned about electronica and dubstep, though I never got much further than Skrillex and a bit of Deadmau5.
Inspiration struck with a person called Nicepeter. (If you'd just ask anyone I've recently interacted with they'd tell you my level of obsession with this one.) I listened to his simple, earnest music, and I started wishing I could compose some tunes of my own using poems that I had previously written or some random thought burbles. Maybe someday I'll be successful with this endeavor, and will post something on here.
Another interesting thing about music is that we often form opinions about others based on their sense of music, and this view is often colored by our own musical tastes. I like to think of myself as more open-minded when it comes to the different genres of music, but I do find myself getting somewhat judgmental when confronted with the preferences of others, though that could just be my own sociopathic nature. If someone likes country, they are often held in less esteem than those who prefer classical, and alternative lovers are admired most of all. "Hipsters" and electronica enthusiasts I both respect and resent because I often can't tell if they actually like the music or are just trying to be "cool" and "ironic".
Music does not stop at music either. The genres of music create bands, and bands create groups, and these groups turn into something even bigger, until each element of music has its own fans and pretty soon there are band clothes, band mugs, and other labeled items. Basically, it is getting easier and easier to identify one's preference of music, and thus is easier to formulate opinions and judgments, further deepening the divides between different factions of music. I feel like I'm going in circles now, so I'll stop.
I probably should close this article with some interesting fact on the psychology of music, (it can help relieve pain; crazy huh?) or with some philosophical afterthought that makes me look intelligent and deep. Unfortunately, I can't think of anything other than the fact that my Christmas present will consist of a Muse and Nicepeter t-shirt, and that I am extremely excited over this.
Next: Tacky on Resolutions
MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE.
By the way, hi there Tacky. Long time no see. Well, talk. Well.... type. whatever.
Yeah. I've gone through this, I know all your secrets @_@
Jk.
Yeah.
Blog.
Get. A. Tumblr.
Yeah.
I can't really give you detailed descriptiveness on everything, but I haven't seen anything that struck my "Let me dissect this" strings.
So that's good.
Yeah.
I'll be monitoring you from now on. Along with the FBI. :3
Till next post!
HOLY **** MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE MONTHS AND MONTHS AND EONS?
Get. A. Tumblr.
I don't really know how Tumblr works. D:
I'll be monitoring you from now on. Along with the FBI. :3
Should I be scared? D:
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