Forums → The Tavern → General Relationship Thread
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I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.
Judging by all these threads being made about the same thing, it's safe to say it's inevitable for these questions to be asked; and since the answers to these relationship/dating questions are generally very similar, putting all the questions in one thread saves time and posting.
No, this is not a thread where you specifically ask me for advice; I don't know very much about this subject. I'm simply the guy who has created the thread so you can post your questions for anybody to answer.
So if you have a question about dating or relationships, or anything along those lines, ask it here, wait for someone to reply here, and don't make a new thread about it!
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Not people you know, dont know what chatroulette is but it sounds like what I'm talking about.
Ahh... okay I understand. Never tried it, never know who you're really talking to... creepy
And chatroulette is just a website where it pairs you up with a random user and you chat with them while your webcam is on and seeing their webcam.
I wonder why I'm here, I guess I've really hit the bottom to go ask around the internet, but I need opinions from people I don't know to clear up my mind.
You see, my girlfriend broke up with me two months ago. At that moment, our relationship didn't work out for both of us, and I was okay with the hypothetical perspective of an eventual break up, but God, when it happened, mother earth swallowed me whole. The shock was terrible enough to make me lose about 8 pounds over two weeks and give me suicidal thoughts. She's slept with other guys, tried some relationships but now it seems she's found someone with whom it's bound to become more serious. I've been telling her I'd do anything to have her back, and even after two months of unbearable pain, I still love her like I never loved someone before.
My question is, should I continue to wait it out, or forcefully prod myself to go look elsewhere, even though I don't desire it at all? If there's a chance of us coming back together, then I have to try and wait for it, but what to do with the intense pain; I'm at a loss, really. People around me have been telling me to move on, some said that if I wasn't attracted to other women, I could wait and see, but it's an awful situation to be in since we live in the same appartment. I don't think I'll be changing my perspective after having your advices, but I want to know what you all think about that.
One more thing, always look on the bright side of life, every cloud has a silver lining, and every storm is followed by sunshine.
dont forget there are other fish in the sea. thats probably the most applicable at the moment.
The regulator is right fallen, a new apartment needs to be top priority right now - that will be a step towards getting rid of the intense pain you're feeling. Knowing that she's sleeping/dating other people then that's not something you should be around.
All this move on, things will get better soon thing, it's nonsense. Sadly we can't predict when the pain will go away as each relationship is different. The best thing to do is not throw your attractions on to someone else - i always find that when someone does this (when i do this) the basis of the relationship is always based on the feelings you have for your ex which sets the relationship up to fail from the beginning: which isn't fair on the "new girl" (even though here she's non-existant)
The only advice i can give you is talk to her, maturely, ask her if there's anything you can do or change to make you guys work? If she gives you a solid no, then i recommend you spend some time working on you, try spend time around your friends and family and put your focus into your work/interests (whatever the situation is).
As cliche as it is to say - it will get better in time (How much time varies, sadly) but keep your head up high and try focus on anything positive in your life how little it might be, use that to boost your happiness and try kill the demon thoughts you're having.
Best of luck ! - Shona.
The only advice i can give you is talk to her, maturely, ask her if there's anything you can do or change to make you guys work
Already done, she already gave me solid refuse, but if she still likes me enough to be my friend, I believe time can change her decision.
If you're sure you can't get her back, moving is the best option
That's the problem, I'm sure I can't get her back right now, but in due time, who knows if my patience will be rewarded...I guess my situation really forces me to bear the most terrible pain, seeing as how I can't move out and she can't either. As for finding hobbies, I'm already working hard on a book and I forcefully started to play video games again, even though I don't really feel like it at all. People have been saying about that I'm either crazy or immensely strong to be living through this while continuing to love her. To me, it's a testament of my will to get her back.
My philosophy on this is that if time proves my sentiments to be sincere, she'll most likely be affected some day or another. You know, I was always the prideful one; going towards another woman would be the easy way out for me, and I want to prove her that she's the one for me.
You know, I was always the prideful one; going towards another woman would be the easy way out for me, and I want to prove her that she's the one for me.
Sometimes the easy way out is the smart way out. In you're situation I think it would be best for you to get her as far away from you as possible and proving her wrong will be hard to completely impossible. I'm also sure that if you look hard enough and try to get her off you're mined, you will find someone else to be the one for you. Looking for that new one will be much easier then getting her back.
That isn't a very good hobby then is it? Maybe instead try doing something where you can channel you feelings. You already draw with pencils, maybe try out pastels, or painting. If you aren't having fun with video-gamess, then it isn't helping you very much.
I'm channeling my feelings through my book right now; a thing I want to write for her. As for video games, it just goes to show how this whole mess affected me. I'm a gamer at heart, and all my life I've been running away from my problems like this; whenever I had trouble brewing in my life, I'd just grab my gameboy/controller and forget it all, so if even the games don't entice me, what else could?
Anyhow, as I said, I'm not changing my mind, or at least not for now; I just wanted some outside opinions to see if perhaps someone would have a different point of view than all the people I've seen here. As expected, it isn't the case. Call me crazy, call me a fool, I'm going for what I want.
Sigh...well things have made a turn for bad! If you recall, I have fallen for a girl who likes me back and my friend likes her as well and her parent's are, for lack of a better term, relationship Nazi's...
I had a chat with my friend, told him how long I've liked her and how I was going to let him have her even though I liked her and he understood and now thinks of be as one of the bests friends a person could have (one who gives up a girl to the friend so the friend can be happy). So all good is there...
But everything is now completely unraveling... Her parents have now told her, instead of just the 18 and no driving rule, she can no longer date...ANYONE...I feel completely and utterly useless in the matter because well, I want to ask her out and now I don't know what to do... I am smart enough to know that a relationship with the parent's is a big thing in having a relationship with a girl.
I am currently planning on going to her house, while she's out, and talk to her parent's face to face about how I feel and how I want to ask her out.
I assume I would say something along the lines of this "I want to talk to you about _. I understand you guys love her and only want the best for her when you tell her she cannot date anyone. Well, I came to you to ask if I could date your daughter. And for you to tell me no without knowing anything about me, offends me a little..." I could go on with my rant, but I think I'll save it for the real deal! haha.
It's complete bs, that they would tell her she cannot date me (or anyone!) even though I've only ever proven to them that I'm a kind, good, fun kid...
idk what do you guys think, because she seems pretty set that her mom will not change...and I don't want to go around asking her friends about her mom, or get MY friends involved in something they need not know about.
I wonder why I'm here, I guess I've really hit the bottom to go ask around the internet, but I need opinions from people I don't know to clear up my mind.
You see, my girlfriend broke up with me two months ago. At that moment, our relationship didn't work out for both of us, and I was okay with the hypothetical perspective of an eventual break up, but God, when it happened, mother earth swallowed me whole. The shock was terrible enough to make me lose about 8 pounds over two weeks and give me suicidal thoughts. She's slept with other guys, tried some relationships but now it seems she's found someone with whom it's bound to become more serious. I've been telling her I'd do anything to have her back, and even after two months of unbearable pain, I still love her like I never loved someone before.
My question is, should I continue to wait it out, or forcefully prod myself to go look elsewhere, even though I don't desire it at all? If there's a chance of us coming back together, then I have to try and wait for it, but what to do with the intense pain; I'm at a loss, really. People around me have been telling me to move on, some said that if I wasn't attracted to other women, I could wait and see, but it's an awful situation to be in since we live in the same appartment. I don't think I'll be changing my perspective after having your advices, but I want to know what you all think about that.
let her go u were ment for someone better if u just wait someone better will come along
Sigh...well things have made a turn for bad! If you recall, I have fallen for a girl who likes me back and my friend likes her as well and her parent's are, for lack of a better term, relationship Nazi's...
I had a chat with my friend, told him how long I've liked her and how I was going to let him have her even though I liked her and he understood and now thinks of be as one of the bests friends a person could have (one who gives up a girl to the friend so the friend can be happy). So all good is there...
But everything is now completely unraveling... Her parents have now told her, instead of just the 18 and no driving rule, she can no longer date...ANYONE...I feel completely and utterly useless in the matter because well, I want to ask her out and now I don't know what to do... I am smart enough to know that a relationship with the parent's is a big thing in having a relationship with a girl.
I am currently planning on going to her house, while she's out, and talk to her parent's face to face about how I feel and how I want to ask her out.
I assume I would say something along the lines of this "I want to talk to you about _. I understand you guys love her and only want the best for her when you tell her she cannot date anyone. Well, I came to you to ask if I could date your daughter. And for you to tell me no without knowing anything about me, offends me a little..." I could go on with my rant, but I think I'll save it for the real deal! haha.
It's complete bs, that they would tell her she cannot date me (or anyone!) even though I've only ever proven to them that I'm a kind, good, fun kid...
idk what do you guys think, because she seems pretty set that her mom will not change...and I don't want to go around asking her friends about her mom, or get MY friends involved in something they need not know about.
ok so i guess u could go to the parents house that could either turn out great or get ur head chopped off, but just tell them how long u have liked her and why u like her and say that u really care about her
and my second choice is dating her and not telling the parents so it will be secret but once they find out all hell could break loose but its not like the parents can maker her break up with u
Ok so this is wat you do... ask her friends wat shes doin like in a couple dauys and just show up there surprised to see her( wink wink ) and ask her to do something...
She must have been special. You should try not to ostracize her, in case she wants you back. But seek other women.
What do you do if her phone doesn't work?
climb through her window and tell her how you truly feel.
Some girl (who likes me) asked me on face book of I wanted to have oral sex with her so I had to say no because my parents monitor my facebook. I also probaly would have said no because I have no way to get to her house and she's dog ugly. Then about a week later my girlfriend kissed me at a pool party.
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