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I've noticed the increase in threads being made about problems with relationships and dating. Now, I have no problem with the subject matter. No, my problem is with the amount of threads people are creating about it.
Judging by all these threads being made about the same thing, it's safe to say it's inevitable for these questions to be asked; and since the answers to these relationship/dating questions are generally very similar, putting all the questions in one thread saves time and posting.
No, this is not a thread where you specifically ask me for advice; I don't know very much about this subject. I'm simply the guy who has created the thread so you can post your questions for anybody to answer.
So if you have a question about dating or relationships, or anything along those lines, ask it here, wait for someone to reply here, and don't make a new thread about it!
....I mean....it's an 18 year old asking out a 14 year old.
A Senior asking out a Freshmen?
I don't recommend this.
Senior boy asking out a Frosh girl?
Sometimes
Senior girl asking out a Frosh boy?
I don't recommend this.
....I mean....it's an 18 year old asking out a 14 year old.
No. That just isn't right.
An 18 year old (mostly males) could get into a lot of freaking trouble if he is ever caught doing anything besides smiling at a 14 year old. Best to just avoid that temptation.
FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT! =D
If you are a senior dating a freshman..when you were a freshman..she/he was in 6th grade
(mostly males)
An 18 year old (mostly males) could get into a lot of freaking trouble if he is ever caught doing anything besides smiling at a 14 year old.
It's always us...
I don't have any clue about what this Senior and Freshmen is... I assume it's high school and the equivalent of year 12 and 9 respectively.
Or in ages, 18 on 14? Legally in Australia that's straddling age of consent. When this happens, legally, you can have up to a difference of 4 years in age before any sexual activity is automatically declared statutory rape, and further assessment is at the discretion of jurisprudence, CPO etc. Statistically and anecdotally speaking, I've seen 19 and 14 happen a bit and it's almost invariably predatory or abusive, so it's not surprising that this is viewed in a pretty dim light. You'd probably get a few ephebophile insults hurled your way.
My personal take? You're all young and stupid and prone to making errors and horrendously bad judgement calls :P To racially profile, "white society" tends to encourage learning through error making (or does it?), "Asian society" (I'm allowed to say this because I'm Asian) tends to be liability averse.
Younger people are more impressionable, so are slightly-less-young people but if they're above age of consent they have a legal obligation and are expected to be aware of that, so if things go bad it's generally on the older party regardless of whether it's fair or not.
There are extreme counter-examples (there was a case where a really screwed up 11 yo was identified as the sexual aggressor of her 40-something year old carer who was justifiably terrified of her continual, explicit sexual advances seeing as they landed him in court accused of being a sexual predator), but these are obviously rare.
p.s. if both people are above the age of consent, then anything goes. I know colleagues who exclusively date cougars because a) neither of them are looking to settle down yet b) cougars are generally so loaded it's not funny c) there's less bull****, or so I hear. If a young guy can bear being teased about going out with a lady twice her age and essentially being an accessory/boy toy, well, why the hell not?
sorry for triple post I keep forgetting to write the point of what I really wanted to write:
Yes there is a bit of a gender double-standard here, again statistics may have something to do with it. It's simply less statistically likely that a heterosexual couple of significantly differing ages has an older, dominant female. It happens, though (my father was seven years my mother's junior, but it's quite different because they had already moved out and had been independent for several years before they even met each other).
But that gender double standard isn't necessarily so stark as one may think: sure, people really worry for an 18 year old girl who goes out with a 42 year old guy (again I know an example of this), but are more prone to merely ridicule the 18 yo guy who goes out with, say, Madonna, seeing as guys are generally seen as being the aggressor... because that's where the stats are most skewed. The older you get, however, the less this matters, though my 66 year old family friend celebrity musician marrying a 30 year old music scholar did raise a few eyebrows. (Says the guy who is used to going out with people 4+ years his senior then ends up with a girl his age).
Man, I wish I could meet a sexually aggressive older wo- haha I'm just kidding. Or am I?
People, by which I mean CT and to a lesser extent Strop, do like to make that assumption though.
Anyway, to answer Strop's previous, likely rhetorical question leveled at me, it probably makes you a bad person.
Anyway, senior male or female makes no difference. A senior dating a freshman is messed up. 18 to 14 is not just 4 years. It's a huge difference. Keep it in your pants.
It's a huge difference.
Back in Shakespearean times,
Of course, but the point was social structures and norms are fluid, especially when it comes to dating and the like. What's acceptable now might be considered horrible and tragic in the future, and what's not acceptable now might become commonplace. To say it's "messed up" ignores that fluidity. And to assume that it's purely being predatory is asinine.
Of course, but the point was social structures and norms are fluid, especially when it comes to dating and the like. What's acceptable now might be considered horrible and tragic in the future, and what's not acceptable now might become commonplace. To say it's "messed up" ignores that fluidity. And to assume that it's purely being predatory is asinine.
It's all well and good to speak of fluidity but one must appreciate the extent and the nature of that fluidity, because both are limited. Saying "messed up" doesn't ignore the fluidity, it just makes a statement that is relevant to the situation now. There would have been a time when it was not, but that time is not now. You're welcome to make arguments about why it ought not to be the case, but that would require delving back into insightful statements and not quibbling over semantics.
Anyway, to answer Strop's previous, likely rhetorical question leveled at me, it probably makes you a bad person.
Allow me to play Devil's advocate by posing a counter-example (Nicho may have some comment on this): I have a socially conservative, very traditional Christian Singaporean colleague who specifically wanted to go out (and marry) a girl whose primary quality was innocence and vulnerability, specifically so he could be, essentially, her knight in shining armour. He was very earnest about this, too, as he firmly believed that he had a duty to "be the man" just as the woman had a duty to "be the damsel in distress" (now I'm being facetious).
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