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Jeol: The Resuscitation

Posted May 12, '11 at 10:19pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

I like the rain poem and pencil sketch. If you like doing that photoshop, i suggest you try Apophysis 2.02 out.

Thanks. Is the pencil sketch the guy in the rain one? I'll be sure to look up Apophysis. I don't do much with fractals, though, I mostly use gradients and pen designs. I love Photoshop.
 

Posted May 13, '11 at 8:26am

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Not only the longest poem I have ever written, but the most time I have spent on one and in my opinion one of the best I have ever written. (Long is defined by more than ten stanzas. At least, for me.)

The Teapot - a long poem

With fearful energy his eyes opened
he had not one more moment to spend
he jumped and turned quickly to face the large frame
and prepared reluctantly to face his own shame.

The large frame was a nemesis of his
a man who sought to steal every last of his biz
man against man, flesh against flesh
Dan against Sam, friendship enmeshed.

What an embarassment he had made
to think that all friends are already paid
what else could he have done
before he got hurt like a gun.

Set the differences aside
peel away all the anger
what could be left.

They circled 'round and 'round like bait
showing each other bitter hate
hate only grows by repetition
till everything else is one bad concoction.

They say that emotion gives way
when you het your stress boil 'way
then after the steam rises from the pot
there is no water let to rot.

Like mad birds in a love dance
they fought as if they were in a trance
blood dripped down from their lonely faces
when would they wake up and see the great oasis?

Set the differences aside
peel away all the anger
what could be left.

Why do people see only the blindness of emotions
they carve long and hard to form great concoctions
then after all the work is done they ask themselves sadly,
"Why do I scrounge around with blindness and stupidity?"

Blow after blow they dealt themselves mugs of anger
the teapot never seemed to run out of water
when down on his knees Dan fell to the ground
and Sam reeled back for the finishing pound.

After all the water left the pot
the curtain of steam left Samuel hot
and made him realize that, like a glove,
anger makes no room for love.

Set the differences aside
peel away all the anger
what could be left but love.

How hard it must be to think twice
you must realize that before you're enticed
and no matter how big the teapot is, moreover,
you never wake up until the dream is over.

 

Posted May 13, '11 at 5:14pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Wow, I'm bad at spelling.

when you let your stress boil 'way

there is no water left to rot.

I think that's all.
hate only grows by repetition
till everything becomes one bad concoction.

I think that should do it.
 

Posted May 13, '11 at 5:42pm

shailajaisrani

shailajaisrani

281 posts

i love your poem! i like the amount of expression you put into it. nice job!

 

Posted May 13, '11 at 6:04pm

JohnGarell

JohnGarell

1,831 posts

The Teapot - a long poem


Agree; it's really a long poem!

I don't like the whole thing with poems and that stuff. Waste of time if you ask me.
 

Posted May 14, '11 at 6:15pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,424 posts

They circled 'round and 'round like bait
showing each other bitter hate

Favorite lines

And the rhyme... seem really forced. Like you made the words that rhymed then threw in a bunch of words behind it to make the rhythm not so off.
Don't get me wrong, it is good, but. Rhyme shouldn't have to be forced like that D:

I don't like the whole thing with poems and that stuff. Waste of time if you ask me.

Okay I'm sorry, but that was a HUGE diss on writers everywhere, including me. I have writeen a **** ton of stuff for AG, wasn't a waste of my time. It is a hobby for some, proffesion for others, helps people vent or prove points to people, poetry is NEVER a waste of time. Just people like you that don't say anything other that "it's good" Or "this sucks".
So.
Yeah.
 

Posted May 14, '11 at 6:33pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Don't get me wrong, it is good, but. Rhyme shouldn't have to be forced like that D:

Sorry, some of them were a little hard... Even RhymeZone wasn't much help.

I think I needed to write that poem. Copying what Moon said, poetry is definitely not a waste of time. It felt so good to write it.
 

Posted May 15, '11 at 1:30pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Soda or Pop? - a Tanka.

Fizzy brown liquid;
is it called pop or soda?
Loaded with caffeine;
my fam'ly calls it soda.
I will call it soda too.

My entry for the Tanka contest. Also my first tanka.

 

Posted May 15, '11 at 6:36pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

So I feel a little bad about the horrible (in her standards) portrait that I made of her character, MoonFairy, the Fairy of AG. So, to counter that sketch, I made an even quicker sketch of WolfFairy. Enjoy.
http://kjeolh.deviantart.com/#/d3gfmed

 

Posted May 15, '11 at 6:39pm

jeol

jeol

3,987 posts

Woah. Huge fail. I forgot how I link stuff and do stuff. So. I will try again. In compensation of that horrible mistake, I will both post the picture AND link it. Take that, WolfFairy, for trying to wreck my plans.
http://img690.imageshack.us/img690/3752/wolfairy.jpg

 
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