Forums → The Tavern → Experimental Breakfast Cereals
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Me and my brother were talking about this earlier today. this is basically how it went down:
So you know how at wholesale stores, they have those huge, economy sized containers of whatever? I was thinking about what it would be like if they had one of those, but with cereal. And I don't mean like a bunch of boxes taped together, I'm talking about one huge box filled with cereal. They could even make variety packs, just pour a bunch of different cereals in a box and stir it up. Of course, the mixture of Cheerios and Lucky Charms would most likely result in the creation a black hole, thus annihilating all life as we know it. But then again, this is probably the way that most breakfast cereals are invented. They're just unstable isotopes covered in sugar. Add enough radiation and it probably won't explode prior to being ingested. I bet you anything, Fruit Loops are just an untested version of Cheerios. And another thing. Nuclear Frosted Flakes. It's an explosion of flavor! (and toxic waste!)
If you guys/gals have any thoughts on the matter, I would love to hear them.
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It doesn't seem like so much of a rant, more like an... um...
an allocution. yeah
A ranting allocution.
Mav, all I cansay is WOW. I had thought that Milklear Physicists would have long given up on unraveling the Grainial Isotonic Theorem on the Effects of Milklear Instability Through the Inclusion of Insufficient Stabilizers. I commend you.
**** it! My thread was deleted. Why?
Patrick, you of all people should know not to spam!
Ok all i read was giant cereal, and giant prizes. What do ya have against fruit loops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think they should really consider making Cowboy Crunchies from Toy Story 2: "The only cereal that's sugar-frosted and dipped in chocolate!" That would be awesome!
They could also make "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs" from Calvin and Hobbes. (they would probably contain trace amounts of c-4, but isn't that what this thread was made to talk about?)
**** it! My thread was deleted. Why?
Because it was spam, a duplicate, and racist against non-nuclear cereals. Yes, cereals have races too.
Anyways, my favourite brand was, back when I ate cereals, the Lion cereals. They were filled with sugar, just like Kellogg's Frosties, which were my second favourite... So yeah, me likey the sugar.
take frosted flakes pour milk in then a couple table spoons of sugar to live dangerously... wow its good stuff
Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs
They did make them during the Chicago Project in the mid '40s. Japan doubted the power of the cereal, and the US showed them the full potential of splitting a dairytron.
And surely you msut have heard of those who have contributed most to our field: Albert Spoonstein, Stephen Milking, Neils Bowl, and Ernest Raisinford? And what about those theories: Bowlian Motion, Dairytron Spin Theory, The Graintron Cloud Theory, and Ricetrinos?
And you call yourself a milklear granicist!
You forgot J.J. Yumson, the Cheerios(Marie and Pierre), and Enrico Foodi. I am disappointed in you.
However, recent accidents have occured which has called into question whether or not cereal should be served at all. In the late '80s, several Grainicist in Russia thought they would experiment by adding actual chocolate to the cereal, rather than the pre-approved synthetic material used throughout the food industry. The result led to a catastropic explosion and an uncontrollable Milklear Reaction that left the area tainted. Now its inhabitants can only eat Bran Muffins for the next 20,000 years. More recently in the news, a natural disaster in Japan caused an even more horrifying accident. An earthquake knocked a large vat of Raisins into a small box of un-stable whole-grain flakes. The Japanese Grainicist have attempted to flood the vats with seawater in an attempt to 'fill' the Spoon Hole by causing it to produce too many spoons. The idea is to eventually force the Hole to creat a spoon that matches, and it will disappear out of existence. Its a vague theory, and has not yet worked out in Japan.
Ah, yes. I believe the incident in Russia is known as Cerenobal.
Mav did most of the work. I would have contributed more, but I simply could not find breakfast-related words for alpha, beta, and gamma...
Still, I think your giant wall of text was pretty hilarious. Kudos.
You forgot J.J. Yumson, the Cheerios(Marie and Pierre), and Enrico Foodi. I am disappointed in you.
I only hold a degree in Milklear Theory, so in my post-graduate work I haven't encountered them. I did my thesis on 'Dairytron and Grainitron Entanglement and Sppn-Hole Compilation'. So I've delved primarily in Spoonsteil, Bowls, and Milking.
I simply could not find breakfast-related words for alpha, beta, and gamma...
Posta, Millsa, Kellogsa Sweetification. Duh.
I only hold a degree in Milklear Theory, so in my post-graduate work I haven't encountered them. I did my thesis on 'Dairytron and Grainitron Entanglement and Sppn-Hole Compilation'. So I've delved primarily in Spoonsteil, Bowls, and Milking.
I see, so you're more of the Theoretical Grainics type, hm?
Posta, Millsa, Kellogsa Sweetification. Duh.
As I understand it, grains with a certain amount of energy can be considered "Sweetonizing food" while others are considered "Non-Sweetonizing foods". With sweetonizing foods, the pure amount of yummy goodness in the cereal causes part of the cereal to flake away, which creates massive emissions of deliciousness as well as the Posta, Millsa, and Kellogsa particles. This is highly dangerous, and may result in the milk spilling out of the bowl(a serious disaster), particularly if a chain reaction occurs. This is why you must use your spoons as control rods to limit the spread of the deliciousness to other flakes in the bowl.
Postas closely resemble Lucky Charms, in that they have two flakes and two marshmallows per Posta. Their dangerous deliciousness can be easily stopped.
Millsa particles resemble simple raisins, as discovered by J.J. Yumson. They travel quickly from the bowl to the mouth, but they too can be easily stopped. They can, however, cause what is known as "Millsa-Burn" if they come into contact with one's skin, causing severe milk damage.
And Kellogsa particles are a form of Eatro-Millsonic emissions. They cannot be easily stopped, and they can pierce through even the toughest of bibs and napkins, spilling milk onto even one's skin.
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