Note: This post is a light-hearted way of dealing with the frustration of a long Phage Wars Live session. I've actually been most of these players myself. If one of these describes you, don't worry, I don't really hate you. But everybody else probably does.
The Big Dog
Let's start with the one that everybody loves to hate. The Big Dog is rank 100 and he's not afraid to use it. But he didn't buy his points, oh no, he earned them the hard way by grinding it out over a thousand games. To celebrate, he's going to tool a game full of rank 15's just for the lulz. He usually won't talk smack right away but he'll be glad to start if you dare to complain about being stomped. Because it's not enough for him to just beat you, you must also bow to his tactical mastery while pretending that his maxed out stats had nothing to do with it.
The Sandbagger
The Sandbagger may be the lowest rank in the room but he understands that 200 points is better than 5 points. He'll take a few cells early just like everyone else but then he'll turtle up and wait while the other guys fight it out. If he's feeling brave he might try to snipe a few of the leader's cells and snake a win. Usually though he's just fighting for second place.
The Little Game Hunter
Victory through adversity? Testing your limits? Nah, the Little Game Hunter would rather not deal with anybody even just one rank above him. He'll rejoin and quit your game five times in a row because he just knows that THIS time he's going to find that game with three rank 0 guest players and score an easy 400 points.
The Suicide Bomber
This guy isn't trying to win, he's trying to make you lose. Words like "strategy" mean nothing to the Suicide Bomber because he's not playing the same game as everybody else. To him, victory is dragging one other person down just before he himself is snuffed by the lucky ******* who's been growing unchecked all over his side of the map.
The Terrier
When everyone else is exterminated and the Big Dog is running away with the game it's time for the Terrier to shine. In his mind play the power chords of "The Eye of the Tiger" and he straps in for a long, hard, and totally meaningless battle of attrition. It doesn't matter how long the game has been going or how few cells he has left, the word "forfeit" is not in his vocabulary. He's going to fight tooth and nail for every last inch because, you know, any second now his enemy might suffer a paralyzing hand cramp. Never give up, never surrender!
I'm going to simplify each of these personalities:
The Big Dog: Earns the highest rank, uses it, and also smacks complaints.
The Sandbagger: Stays out of combat to improve position.
The Little Game Hunter: Will only play low-ranking players.
The Suicide Bomber: Tries to take one player down before losing to another.
The Terrier: Will not surrender.
I don't play Phage Wars Live much, but these simplified definitions and personalities can apply to other multiplayer games. Speaking of which, I play Vortex Wars, and I think the Terrier would fit me in that game.
But you forgot THE MONEY APES , buying a high rank and trying to dominate all others. But when they realize that rank isnt enough to win a game they behave like Little Game Hunters.
In other news: I'm a huge sandbagger. I usually go for second place unless I see some kind of opening. I only hope that the high ranking ******** (that are joining those 1-10 custom games) kill the other guys before me.
